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WhitneyYvonne
Super January 2017

How strict are you with your bridesmaids attire/accessories?

WhitneyYvonne, on July 26, 2016 at 5:14 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 61

I'm really letting my bridesmaids do as they please. I did go with all my girls and we picked bridesmaids dresses. But as far has hair, makeup, nails, shoes, jewelry etc I'm really not being picky. Like as long as they don't do anything to crazy for makeup or nails, and shoes I guess I'll give them a color range to stay in. But I want them to still feel like themselves. I met a lady this weekend who was in a wedding and the bride dictated hair, makeup, shoes, and even the length of their nails!!! How strict or not strict are you being with your bridesmaids?

61 Comments

Latest activity by Brooke, on July 26, 2016 at 8:26 PM
  • bina1015
    VIP October 2015
    bina1015 ·
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    Omg that's crazy. I did the same thing as you. For hair, I showed them my hairstyle and asked if they could please not do that same thing and they were ok with it. Our maybe looked kind of similar as I hired a mua for the bridal party.

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  • Kmess
    Master October 2015
    Kmess ·
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    I just told my BM's the dress color and fabric and the shoe color (gold). I paid for their hair and makeup but didn't dictate any style (they also could have opted out). On my wedding day they all looked great and just like themselves.

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  • kiandra
    Master October 2016
    kiandra ·
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    I let them pick there own dress and all. One less thing to stress about honestly

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  • Melody
    Master April 2017
    Melody ·
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    We are choosing a dress all together and ive said black shoes.

    Other than that I did ask my bridesmaid to please keep her hair normal colored for the wedding (she alternates between blonde and rainbow colors) and she agreeed.

    I dont care about anything else.

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  • WhitneyYvonne
    Super January 2017
    WhitneyYvonne ·
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    I couldn't believe it when the girl told me how strict the bride was with what they had to do and wear. And the nails she made them have were like crazy long acrylics idk how the functioned!

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    There have been brides on here that vigorously defend their need to have their BM's look like carbon copies and for them to pay for it.

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  • WhitneyYvonne
    Super January 2017
    WhitneyYvonne ·
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    @Melody yeah I'm asking that they don't do anything to crazy with hair as well!

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  • Zaz
    Master October 2016
    Zaz ·
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    We went together to pick out dresses; I've told them they can wear any kind of shoes they want, as long as they're silver and they feel good wearing them. I getting them each different jewelry to wear the day of; it will all look cohesive, but it's tailored to each BM's personal tastes. Hair, makeup, and nails - they can do whatever makes them feel beautiful!

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  • FreshToDeathAng
    Master September 2016
    FreshToDeathAng ·
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    We went together to pick out dresses, and I told them they could wear any nude color shoe they want. That's it

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  • MTR
    Devoted October 2016
    MTR ·
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    I'm just like you. I let them pick out their own dresses. I don't care what they do hair, makeup, jewelry or shoe wise (long dresses). I went with them to pick out dresses and they had 3 different colors to go with my ideas. They ended up choosing all the same color so it worked out!

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  • Sylvia751
    VIP November 2016
    Sylvia751 ·
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    I've been told I need to be more strict.

    My BM even said "Look, I tried to be diplomatic with my bridesmaids, and they ran all over me. SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT." And I said "I want you to be comfy, that's all!"

    I'm so confused. The MoH and BM picked their dress and shoes out, I'm letting them decide if they want hair and makeup done (I'm paying as far as I know, they're fighting me on that). I can't imagine dictating all those things!!

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  • FutureMrsCarlstad
    VIP November 2016
    FutureMrsCarlstad ·
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    My girls all ended up with the same dress, but I told them to pick whatever black or gold shoe they pleased. Most are wearing flats, one is wearing heels (her choice). I will buy them matching jewelry, but they can do whatever with their hair or nails!

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  • FutureMrsC
    VIP April 2017
    FutureMrsC ·
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    We're going Saturday to look at dresses. I'll let you know after that LOL. As far as jewelry goes I plan to buy it. Shoes they can wear what they like. Hair, nails, makeup - all up to them.

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  • CatBones
    Expert July 2020
    CatBones ·
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    I plan on giving a bottle of nail polish to each girl and paying for manicures so we can all have the same nails. I know they all wear nail polish so I don't see any of them declining on this. As for dress I was going to pick a few things, ask their opinion, and pick one for all of them to wear. I was going to pick dresses off Modcloth, nothing over $100, and will probably pay for them as well. I don't care about shoes or hair.

    I've had my hair alternative colors for the past ten years and was told to change it to brown or not be in the bridal party. I informed her I wouldn't be in the bridal party but my (at the time) blue hair would be excited to celebrate in her day with the rest of the guests in a seat. She also told the bridal party on heels, how to do their hair style, and was upset when one got new glasses close to the wedding.

    I've also heard of brides requesting tattoos be covered or for people to either not cut their hair or to get a hair cut.

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  • S
    Dedicated October 2016
    Sarah ·
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    I wanted them in the same fabric and color, but let them decide which style of dress fit their frames best. All 3 ended up liking the same one, so they all match. They're all going for nude shoes too....and I'm guessing nails will also match since we're going for mani/pedis together. I think I just have it super easy with low stress girls! Smiley smile

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  • Miss S Dot
    Expert October 2015
    Miss S Dot ·
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    Initially when it came to the dresses. I tried to solicit feedback from the bridesmaids but that DID NOT WORK. So I decided to do a versatile dress that could be worn multiple ways (the dress was the same color). Each BM wore their dress differently based on their own style. Shoes were of the metallic (which is what I requested) but the dresses were so long that you couldn't really see the shoes. I didn't care about hair style and make up!

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  • Meaghan
    VIP April 2017
    Meaghan ·
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    I haven't decided on anything yet but I do know the color and length I'd like, but I would like the same dress (I've narrowed it to about 3-4 from DB but haven't picked 1!). Also don't know what direction I'm going with for a shoe: giving a color option and letting them choose or choosing the same shoe too. I will have hair/makeup done and I will offer it to them as a choice. It doesn't matter to me if they want to style themselves. Not sure we'll have time the day before to get nails done together (I'll make time for me....but again if people want to join, great!). Finally with jewelry, I plan to gift them jewelry myself but I want to find meaningful pieces for each. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking they'll ever wear their BM dress again. But I'd like for them to get use out of the shoes and jewelry !! So for me, it's really just dress and maybe shoe I would like the same. All else is entirely up to them Smiley smile

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  • Meaghan
    VIP April 2017
    Meaghan ·
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    Completely forgot to add that when I was last bridesmaid for my best friend (my moh), she said a color and length and said to pick a style. This was harder- to me- because she and I have very different tastes. I wanted something she'd like (it's her day!) and I also wanted something that would blend in with the other BMs. I failed miserably. My dress was the only 1-shoulder satin number. Everyone else had pretty tank lace or chiffon. She never said anything- and never would- but I'm voting for "same dress" for my wedding.

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  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
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    I basically told them "we are paying for your dresses, we will send you a few links for styles and tell you which fabric colour to order from".

    The rest, they can do themselves, hair, nails, shoes, accessories, make up is all on them. They can do whatever.

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  • becomingburnett2017
    Devoted June 2017
    becomingburnett2017 ·
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    Nail length?? Yikes! I am having them choose a dress of the same brand and fabric (to ensure everyone has the same color), and other than that they can choose how they want their hair/makeup, nail color, shoes, and I plan on giving them accessories the day of the wedding (YES I know this doesn't count as a gift (: ). I really want to make this as easy as possible budget-wise because we are all pretty young and most of my BP will be graduating from college only a month before my wedding. Plus, my girls are gorgeous and have better style than me so they probably would choose better than me anyway!! LOL

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