How soon should we ask people to be in our wedding party?

I would wait to ask anyone until the wedding is a year or less away. That way, if relationships happen to change as time gets closer, you won't be locked in to a wedding party too far in advance. Plus, there isn't anything that they'd need to do this far in advance anyway.


As for the number of people, there is no limit! One thing to keep in mind is that a larger wedding party means more cost: more people to pay for at the rehearsal dinner, more "thank you" gifts to give, more people to pay for hair/makeup/attire for (if that's something you're covering for them), etc. If you have 8 people that you want by your side on your wedding day, and the additional costs aren't an issue, then I say go for it!

I wouldn't ask anyone until you are within 1 year of your wedding date.

As far as the amount of bridal party members, there really isn't a limit. Personally, I think more than 5 looks crowded. But, if your venue has enough space for everyone to stand, then go for it!

I think 6-8 months out is the general wisdom on these forums, but I'd definitely wait until at least a year out just in case something happens.

As far as numbers, I worked a wedding where there were 20 bridesmaids and 20 groomsmen, so 8 is definitely not an issue lol. Just make sure there's enough space for everyone to stand or sit during the ceremony.

Sorry if this is a little long but hopefully my response is helpful to some degree!

So I ended up asking early as well and this is what happened with me:

Me and my fiancé got engaged in 2019 and were planning to get married in late 2021. Long story short, due to Covid and college plans changing, we pushed it back a few more years to 2024 which I am relieved we did. However, when we thought late 2021 was going to be the time of our wedding, I went ahead and started asking people which looking back almost 3 years later, I really wish I never asked that early. People around me even warned me not to ask so early because relationships can change in the blink of an eye, and that's something naive me did not think about at the time. I basically asked early due to excitement and I was thinking "Well, 2 years isn't too far away, I doubt anything will change until then." Of course, I highly doubt you'll have to postpone your wedding that far out like we did, Covid just really messed up everything for us and many other weddings sadly, however, it's been way over 2 years since we got engaged and everything related to our wedding party and our whole wedding in general has changed completely.

I was planning to have about 6 bridesmaids which included my best friend, and a few of my cousins and other family members I was close with at the time. My fiancé also asked early because I was asking so soon which in retrospect did stress him out a bit because he didn't find it necessary to ask that early which I do agree with now, and he was never rude about it, he was just being more realistic about the scenario and was thinking about the consequences that come with asking early lol. Also, he doesn't know many people so he didn't even really know who to ask which stressed him out too because social standards at the time sadly made us think it had to be the same amount of people on each side or else it would look bad to others and in photos, which is definitely not true, but again that's what we were being told at the time which put pressure on us. But basically it's 2022 now and the people I did ask (except one person) are no longer going to be in the party. In fact, we are not planning to have but maybe a maid of honor and best man which of course is our own decision, but it just goes to show that many things can change within 2 years. I never thought we'd go from a big party to little to no party at all, but it's because we 1. Decided to plan for a smaller/more intimate wedding, 2. The relationships with them have all changed, including the people my fiancé asked, and 3. Most of them decided they did not want to deal with the stress/responsibility of being a bridesmaid. Which yes, that's something they individually should've thought about before agreeing, but that is a completely understandable reason, especially that far out. Because when you're a bridesmaid, a majority of the time you have to pay for your dress, accessories, makeup, hair, help pay for the bridal shower, etc. Of course that's not every wedding party, but based on what I've seen and most of my friends are already married and/or have been a bridesmaid and that's what being a bridesmaid included in a majority of those weddings which they told me was super stressful and not cheap. Again, that's not how every wedding goes, but that's what I have observed.

Now to answer your questions: I would say wait at least 1 year before the wedding to give your wedding party some time to prep in case anything does occur but also so you don't ask too early, or every issue I listed above could potentially happen lol.

I don't think there's a limit to how many people to have in your party, just make sure the place you get married at can accommodate that many people because most venues have a limit due to spacing, other than that, it should be absolutely fine!

Again, sorry for the chapter book length post lol, I just had many points I wanted to mention to possibly help you and/or anyone else going through the same thing. I do wish you the best of luck with wedding planning and hope it all goes smoothly and happily!

There are many posts if you browse the search button of brides who asked the wrong people way too early. As a result, they want to get rid of the bridesmaid and keep the friendship, and it doesn’t work that way. The consensus is do not ask anyone earlier than 6 months before the wedding because there is nothing they need to do beyond purchasing a dress and showing up on the wedding day to support you.


Also do not ask anyone who is not part of your current closest innermost social circle. That means don’t ask siblings or in laws out of obligation to get to know them or someone you no longer talk to who was a bestie in kindergarten.

Hi Michelle,


I would say anything prior to 1 year in advance (Sep. 2023), is far too early to announce your bridal party. Even if you do, I think it’s forgotten information come 2024; it’s hard to get excited for something that’s not remotely in the near future, not to mention the friendships that could change by then.
For bridal party size, I think 5-8 for bride and groom is super common so no, 8 is just fine.

As far as size, there is no right or wrong. Some brides say they don’t regret 6-8+ attendants while others do regret it. It’s a personal preference. However, each bridesmaid and groomsman is expensive because there are many costs involved you need to be willing and able to spend on them. Skip the proposal gifts that get donated to Goodwill and ask them over coffee or a FaceTime call. Same for the getting ready props (robes/pjs/jewelry/anything labeled “bridesmaid”) that are easily skipped and no one misses them However, you need to get a thank you gift for them on the wedding day or at the rehearsal dinner that is associated with their personal interests as if you were birthday shopping for them, as well as covering all food/beverage expenses for the rehearsal dinner and wedding day. 1 bridesmaid is not cheap when you look at those costs and then multiply it by 6+. Can you afford it without debt and regrets?


In our families and social circles, 1-3 bridesmaids/groomsmen on each side is the norm and it’s rare outside of celebrity weddings in a magazine or Pinterest photo shoots to see more than 3. But every circle is different.

End of September/beginning of october 2023