How many people can I invite when we can't have more than 150 at the venue?

Keep your list at 150. My daughter invited 140 to her wedding. 134 RSVP'd yes, 134 showed up.

Who's paying?

Everyone makes good points here. I'll also say that I've heard when you have a smaller guest list, your chances are better that you'll have a higher turn out than someone with a 300 guest list. If you think about it, it makes sense because if you have a smaller guest list, you're probably inviting people who are very close to you, and therefore, more likely to show up.

Alycia, my parents are paying for the wedding. it's not a financial issue though, it's that we cant have more than 150 people in the space. (and don't want that many anyway). hopefully lots of people are busy and can't come.

Be careful with curiosity inviting, A friend told me that several guests didn't RSVP but showed up to the wedding & reception anyway. It was about 50 extra guests that showed, they weren't enough plate settings, tables, food etc. It was a nightmare.

Our venue holds 150 max as well and I refuse to invite more than 130, no matter who we think will show up or not. I don't want to have the maximum number of people stuffed in there , plus u never know when people will show up without an invite or rsvp, etc.

my fiancé and I came up with a list that we finalized a month ago and have not shared it with anyone as of yet. we are not allowing parents to have a say - I'm paying for the wedding myself so we have no obligation to cater to anyone but ourselves. It's not anyone else's wedding except yours, people just need to understand that, imo.

If they're paying for the rehearsal then they get to decide who's invited. They would be the hosts of it so don't feel like you have to entertain their guests. be gracious of course but they would be the hosts.

Again, for the wedding I'd keep it at 135-140. PLan for 100% attendance and don't b-list.

Do not invite more than 150 people. It's true that not everyone will come, but you've got a venue limit. Assume everyone will come and do not invite more than the limit.

Do not B list. Come up with your list of 150 and that's it. Anyone who throws a fit at you for not inviting them because of the venue's limit is NOT being an understanding, kind person. They are being super immature!

If your parents are paying, I can understand them wanting to invite people like their coworkers ... but first, make sure that you have the total that YOU want. And then add their guests if you can. Again, the *nice* thing about the limit is that you have a built-in explanation: "I'm so sorry, but the venue has a strict limit and we were not able to invite everyone we wanted."

Ok. guest list is at 156, I'm ok with that. it's close enough. if someone shows up and doesn't RSVP, I'm going to let them be embarassed, it's not our fault. I plan to call everyone who doesn't let us know one way or the other anyway, so if you don't tell us after that, you're just out of luck. maybe the caterer can stick you in a corner somewhere.

as far as the rehearsal dinner, we have gifts for the bridal party, which is awkward with other people, and I want to spend time with my ladies (one has been overseas for a year and is going back in Sept, and I live far from the others). there's also huge family issues with that, (including that we rarely see our parents) and I don't want to be attending something huge the night before. FH is with me on this, if it becomes an issue and they won't budge, we will go out for appetizers and drinks with the bridal party.

I'm so sick of all this family crap. if all the deposits weren't in, I would absolutely cancel the wedding. cont.

And just have a small ceremony at the courthouse or something near us, with our closest friends. this whole thing is ballooning and I'm sick of it.

Think who would you still be talking too 5 years after your marriage? Truth is, I have seen weddings where the couple invites the friend and then they never talk again after infant that friend ran into the couple a few years alter and pretended to not know them! No arguments happened between them. Skip out anyone who you think is using your wedding, ie as a method to meet dates or just wants the free food but not actually want to celebrate it for you. Sometimes it is hard to control a crowd because friends spread news around and other start bugging you and hoping they can be there too. Hope this helps a little!

I would have a heart to heart with your inlaws about how you feel about the rehearsal dinner being so big. But unfortunately, if you truly only want a small RD you need to be prepared to pay for it yourselves. They can do what they want with their money which is why weddings can get to sticky sometimes. Hopefully they'll be understanding but plan for the worst and hope for the best.

As for the guest list for the wedding. What are you going to do if all 156 people show up/RSVP yes? Fire codes are very serious- the venue can get in some big trouble if they go over their limit. Did you include your vendors in that count? There must be another 4 people you can cut.

I hope you can get this sorted out and go back to looking forward to your wedding! I think at the end of the day all of this will be forgotten and you'll have an awesome wedding day!