How many of you...? courthouse wedding

If you go to the courthouse and end up married, it is a wedding. The real question is not a courthouse wedding versus a "real" wedding, but what kind of wedding you want to have--big or small, religious or secular, what kind of venue, etc.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-wedding-isnt-real-unless-its-a-really-big-show/2011/07/08/gIQAJDqVVI_story.html

Well said, 2d Bride!

If you think you're going to regret not having a big party, maybe an intimate courthouse wedding is not for you.

My FH and I have talked about getting legally married now and having a wedding later, when we have saved enough money. It's such a tough decision!

I think if you end up regretting it there's no rule saying you can't have a big celebration later. You could have a big reception for your anniversary.

Your wedding is your wedding whether it is at a courthouse or in a big hall with 300 guests. It will be special. If you regret not having the big party, you can always have a 1st (or 5th or 10th) anniversary bash down the road.

2D bride nailed it. It's such a huge pet peeve of mine to hear people refer to courthouse weddings as not real. I find it offensive when there is a huge population of this country that would love to have a recognized wedding at a courthouse but cannot.

And while I recognize the argument that people make about how the courthouse is the day their marriage began and a wedding is a celebration of it, it's a party. The dress, dancing, cake...that is not the necessary or important part, the ceremony is. I feel like there are gray areas but if you want the whole shabang, do it the first time.

Why would you regret not having lavish event? You are getting married and thats all that matter. Just imagine how much $ you are saving.

@Destiny - I didn't have a courthouse but I had a small intimate wedding in 2004 at my BFF/MOH and her Hubby/BM's house. It was just us, them, my dad, the reverend and a photographer. We got married on their back deck with the bay behind us. I wore a wedding dress and Hubby had on a tux. It was perfect.

We're renewing our vows this year to celebrate our 10th anniversary and doing it up not because we regret having a small wedding but because that's how we want to celebrate

Getting married at a courthouse is a wedding as others have said.

It is more about what sort of wedding you want - people, money, where - all that extra stuff (because that is what it is - extra)

personally I would save the money and just have a small (for me church) wedding with just the required people there. But FH pointed out if we are going to do all that Pre-Cana we might as well show it off.

If the 'extra' stuff doesnt matter to you then go for a courthouse wedding as long as you dont think you will regret it. Equally you could have the full blown frill and all wedding and regret it

Yep a courthouse wedding is a wedding. You are still being wed. You just won't be having a lot of people witness the marriage and

aren't having a big reception afterward. But it is still just as much a wedding.

We have a small local courthouse that seems just perfect for us so were going there. I want a simple and private ceremony. As they say marriage isn't about the party, as long as you marry the person you love, it went perfectly.. Or something along those lines haha were doing the BBQ reception the next day

I also did not have a lavish event - we did it at home since we had a nice setting to do it in. Only had about 40 people and was not that expensive. I did wear a wedding dress but hubby and his party wore blazers and nice pants.

I see more and more people doing a courthouse wedding with their loved ones around them and then having a scaled down reception either at a restaurant or at home. It is still a special event and you will cherish it.

When you have a hard decision to make, I find it helps to take out a sheet of paper and write the pros and cons of what you are trying to decide. Often by the time you are done, the right answer for you is crystal clear. Good luck!

I realise I am just repeating others but a courthouse wedding is a wedding.

It is a very personal decision to make and one that ultimately you have to bee okay with.

Me personally I would do it in a heart beat but FH wouldn't so we arent

A wedding is a wedding, whether it's in the basement of the clerk's office after traffic court or in the grandest ballroom. In some states this is easier than others; in NYC, it's not only easy, it's fun. The clerk's office is beautiful and the people who marry couples really enjoy their work. In NJ, this is almost not possible. My group does lots and lots of elopements with two-ten guests, and many of them just as heartwarming, special and personal as any other wedding. And just as legal.

It's really up to you. For some couples, the ceremony is the most important part; for some, the party is a really vital part of their celebration. Only you can answer that question and hey, you can ALWAYS have a big party!

Here's another POV: we got married at the courthouse a few months ago. It didn't mean a thing other than we needed to get it out of the way for logistics and convenience really. For us it's been more of a glorified engagement and has provided us with a much needed transition period - getting used to the titles associated with being married :-) We're having a destination church wedding (fast approaching), but we wanted to be legally married when we closed on the house. For us, the Church wedding is the one that counts. In the eyes of the law we're already married. The Church wedding will be our anniversary and that's the one with the pomp and circumstance.