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Beginner July 2016

How many guests to invite vs. amount allowed?

jandakotaka, on February 17, 2015 at 9:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 21

Our venue can hold 120 guests.

We have almost finalized our guest list and are at about 120. We still have more people we would like to add.

I know for a fact that 100% of people that we invite will not be attending.

But is it okay to go over? And by how much?

How many of your guests actually showed up?


Latest activity by The Future Mrs Jackson, on February 18, 2015 at 3:55 PM
  • Future Mrs. D
    Expert May 2015
    Future Mrs. D ·
    • Flag

    Have an A list and a B list. Ask for responses a little earlier than usual and then send out another round as you receive your "not able to attend" responses

    • Reply
  • C&S
    VIP June 2015
    C&S ·
    • Flag

    @Future Mrs. D's idea is incredibly rude. It's saying that some guests are more important to you than others.

    Just invite 120. You never know what your RSVP rate will be. You don't want to go over capacity.

    • Reply
  • Di
    VIP July 2015
    Di ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Future Mrs. D.

    Don't just assume that you will get a certain amount of declines. You'll set yourself up for disaster.

    • Reply
  • AndixLyn
    Master June 2015
    AndixLyn ·
    • Flag

    Invite what the venue can hold and you can afford. Don't go over priced you'll end up in a jam.

    If you do a and b list that means b list will get invites maybe 6 weeks out. That's just inconvenient and rude. They'll know they were fallback

    • Reply
  • AlexisM082
    Master February 2016
    AlexisM082 ·
    • Flag

    You invite no more than your venue can hold. A lists and B lists are especially rude when someone finds out. We cut out all kids except for the BP in order to invite everyone we want to come.

    • Reply
  • alyshadanielle
    Master April 2015
    alyshadanielle ·
    • Flag

    Only invite 120. Even if you have an A list & a B list, people who RSVP "no" may still show up. And if this happens from both lists, you're screwed.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master October 2014
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    We went over by 12. We knew of about that many that wouldn't be able to make it because of distance (mostly faraway family).

    • Reply
  • Nikki
    Master July 2015
    Nikki ·
    • Flag

    Please don't over invite you will be in a real jam if all your guest do come. I know they say 20% of the guest you invite won't show but I wouldn't chance it. I believe another bride put a thread that she over invited and now she has an extra amount of guest coming they can't afford. I wouldn't put yourself in that situation.

    • Reply
  • jenna_
    Master March 2015
    jenna_ ·
    • Flag

    I would not suggest over inviting... it doesn't tend to go well. :/ if you wanted more guests, it would have been a good idea to get your guest list figured out before booking your venue.

    also, i agree with the a & b list. that is pretty rude. :/

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.PC
    Devoted April 2015
    FutureMrs.PC ·
    • Flag

    You should only invite what your venue can hold. Please do not do a B list. It's extremely rude & your guests will figure it out. No one wants to feel like they're 2nd best.

    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner July 2016
    jandakotaka ·
    • Flag

    Definitely don't like the idea of A & B lists.

    So many of our guests are out of town guests. Maybe even most of our guests.

    I'm definitely sure that many will not be able to come.

    It's kind of difficult because we would probably invite 140-150 if we weren't worried about going over 120. That number would probably be fine too, but it's way too heavy of a risk.

    • Reply
  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·
    • Flag

    There was a poor bride on here a few days ago who invited more than her venue could hold on the assumption X% would decline, only to find herself over booked-- do NOT go that route! And I must agree with everyone else-- A&B lists are rude. FInd a venue that holds everyone you want to invite or trim your list somewhere.

    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Super June 2015
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    Don't do A and B's rude. Just invite 120.

    • Reply
  • karebear87
    VIP May 2015
    karebear87 ·
    • Flag

    Invite the amount of guests that will fit in the venue. This is why you should figure out guest list maximum before booking a venue. Even people you are 99% sure won't come - there is still a chance they WILL come, so you have to be prepared for that.

    • Reply
  • MrsLaguna
    VIP April 2015
    MrsLaguna ·
    • Flag

    I honestly agree with @FutureMrsD it might seem rude but lets be honest there are always guest you feel are more important than others and guest you invite out of obligation, and guest you wont be upset about if they declined. I would just avoid the mess and stress and just invite 120 to be on the safe side.

    • Reply
  • MrsPoutine
    Super June 2016
    MrsPoutine ·
    • Flag

    We're paring down our list before booking our venue (hopefully by the end of next month). 2 of the places we're interested in seat 120, the other 2 seat 150-200. Our list has been as high as 141, but we cut out a lot of plus one's we thought were unnecessary and some kids in order to get down to 120. I don't want guest capacity to be the ultimate deciding factor in our venue, so I decided to pare down the list before we pick one. If we pick the larger capacity venue then great, we can add some people back on.

    Even though like 80% of my guests are out of town...I just don't want to chance anything. It makes sense to respect your venue capacities and your budget limitations.

    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Expert October 2017
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    If you can't imagine having your day without the "extra" people, then the best solution would probably be to find a different venue that can fit everyone you want.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Master May 2015
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    I'm in the don't invite more people than your venue can hold camp, you are setting yourself up for disaster if more people RSVP yes than you expect.

    However because you said you are 100% sure that not everyone is coming you may be able to invites a few extra people, if you look closely at your guest list. My grandpa is getting an invite but there is absolutely no way he would be able to travel across the country because of his health. If you have some people like that, that absolutely won't be able to come, and it isn't like they will change their mind you could maybe invite an extra person per person that can't come knowing that you will still for sure be at or under your max capacity.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.DCT
    VIP March 2017
    FutureMrs.DCT ·
    • Flag

    Don't invite more than your venue can hold. I'm mixed on teh A and B list. It's really not proper, but it is still done.

    • Reply
  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
    • Flag

    Most of my couples tell me 2/3-3/4 of invites RSVP.

    • Reply

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