How involved is your fh in planning?

Mine is basically the same way. I told him the theme (Grease/rockabilly) I wanted and he jokingly said he wasn't going to wear a leather jacket in August. He helped with picking out our colors. So far that's about it.

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I was honestly surprised that Adam agreed to even go see the venue we chose this far out. He was super excited once we got there. I was afraid he was going to scare the lady there because he has zero filter.

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That's awesome that he was excited! I feel like that makes everything more fun!

My fiance thought I was crazy for making us go look at venues, so shortly after we got engaged (in April). Well, by April 2019 all of June 2020 was booked, as well as a few dates in July 2020 (which is the month we wanted). The venue we looked at did not hold dates while you decided and I wanted to make a commitment the same day we toured the venue. He made us wait to make a commitment, and I was freaking out because there was couple coming to look at the venue after us that evening. It is a good thing he made us wait though, because that night we changed our mind to the 4th of July for our date and the venue is allowing us to do fireworks. If we had booked it on the spot, like I had wanted, we would have picked a date I wasn't as excited about and we wouldn't of had the option of fireworks. I try to remember that experience when he pushes back on certain things, because he can *sometimes* be right, haha.

My fiance is extremely opinionated...about almost everything. LOL

But it's okay, I value that...and as much as people say "it's the brides day", I don't agree with that. It is OUR day, and I want his input just as much so that I can ensure that the day is perfect for both of us.

He has had input on floral arrangements, color palette, his clothes, invitations, food, venue, hair pieces, makeup, song choices...I could go on and on!

He doesn't much care about like, decor, so he wasn't really involved with decor decisions. But he has been involved in deciding all the big vendors, obviously attire for him and his dudes, music choices, the ceremony content/format, the guest list, all that important stuff.

My FH has been involved with everything. There is one detail of our wedding he doesn’t know about. (But only because his mom said it would be too tacky. I’m doing it because this is his wedding also.) FH is retired military and our wedding colors are black/gold to represent the Army. I decided to have a missing man table to signify our missing soldiers. He has stated he loves the fact business are having it during Memorial Day, and wished we could do the same.

This is my FH's second wedding, my first. According to him, his first wife turned bridezilla by the end because she took on too many DIY projects. I have no idea if this was the case because I've never met her (well she passed away before FH and I met). But because he's done this before, he just keeps telling me that it's my day. I want him included because I firmly believe that it's our day. So I do a bunch of research and narrow it down to 2-4 options. Then I present the options to him with the pros and cons for each and let him make the final decision, if he wants. For example, I made 3 mock invites on zazzle after looking at dozens and showed him the 3. He actually surprised me with the one he chose (was my number 2 choice), but it made him happy, I liked it well enough, so we had invites. It keeps him involved, but doesn't overwhelm him with too many options for details. What I'm picking up from these forums is that many brides want their FH involved in every detail and many men really don't care if the roses are blush or mauve. Most grooms want good food, music, booze, and comfortable clothes. Color palettes, centerpieces, and uplighting are not their priorities. Figure out what matters to your groom, include him in those decisions, and run the rest past him without too much detail. And if he says he doesn't care, make the decision you want. Unlike us, they haven't been picturing the details of their wedding day since they were 5 years old! Good luck.

My fiancé likes to put in his opinion when he feels like he has one. His not a planner in any way- he just asked to be a part of music and food. Everything else I run by him before finalizing.

He is very involved. He has come to some of the vendor appointments. We picked out our ketubah together, which he paid for. (The Jewish marriage contract, which is the groom's gift to his bride.) We picked out our rings together, picked them up together and paid for each other's rings. He took my bridesman to get fitted for a tux. (My friend does not have a car, so they arranged this together.) He has been essential in making decisions. My mom only felt comfortable in booking a last minute photo booth vendor for the wedding (as it's only a week away) after getting his opinion on it. (He said that he enjoys them and that almost every wedding we have been to has had them.) He is designing our wedding programs.

And the big one? Two weeks before our wedding, I went away to compete in Special Olympics Summer Games and he decided to be on wedding duty WITH MY MOTHER...DOING THE SEATING ARRANGEMENTS while I was away! That's love! Swoon!

We're getting married this weekend!

My fiancé is letting me handle almost everything. He is interested in the food, cake, alcohol and music. That’s about it.

View Quoted Comment Exactly what I was thinking. We spoke about things tonight and he finally stepped up and asked how can he help etc. And I explained how I was feeling. All in all his pov. Has changed and he wants to help. Good luck to you and your FH as well

My fh isn't really involved all that much.. I like it because he won't step on my toes much, but honestly when I try to show him something and he doesn't show interest, it irritates me.. so it's a mix of feelings. He tells me "No" more than he comments anything else.

My FH is involved. He doesn’t know much about weddings, but I’ll ask his opinion on something and he is more than willing to help. He wants to go to appointments together for vendors and has handled a lot of the communication with vendor when I couldn’t. I do the research and show him the options and we pro/con together and decide because I suck at making decisions by myself.

He was the one who pulled the trigger on our venue. He went to every tour with me. We are still in the early stages. He definitely made his opinion known on a first look and is currently working on getting a photographer and has ideas. He has a lot of ideas about the music and how he wants the night to go. I'm sure once I get to the whole decorating portion of the planning he won't be as involved but that's okay cause I probably will just wanna do what I wanna do. He is involved as much as I hoped he would be at this point. His mom has also been a huge help and wants to be involved which I am all about since I don't have a relationship with my mom and she won't be involved at all.

My FW wants to be involved in the decisions but she doesn't give me too much input unfortunately. I've found that with a lot of stuff she just wants me to keep her up to date with whatever I'm planning specifically and what I'm thinking (though with our conflicting schedules even this is harder than it sounds). Every once in a while she'll speak up when she doesn't like something, but everything is pretty much "whatever you want to do".

She is taking care of a couple things for me, like making phone calls to get price proposals from the caterer and booking the hotel block. It lessens my anxiety and gives her some involvement, so its a win-win. I start thinking more seriously about flowers and centerpieces over the next couple of weeks, so we'll see how that goes!

I feel this is a very common thing. Most men are always told "As long as you show up thats all that matters." My FH's dad tells him this all the time. The only thing my FH has been very picky about is classiness. We have a rustic wedding and are getting married in a barn (very beautiful, I attached pictures) and I wanted a rustic wedding favor. This is a destination wedding we have no one local so I wanted something easy people could travel with. I was thinking personalized koozies but he put a HARD NO on that. We have settled on maybe doing homemade apple butter in mason jars since its a fall wedding. but thats pretty much the only place hes put his opinion... and the mens outfits of course ahah.

Inside the barn

Property and outside

Aw, that's so nice! It's always nice to feel fulfilled and have support from FH. My FH is very much involved and seems to be super excited. He's making playlists of songs we should have, excited about our tasting coming up and really helping with vendors and stuff!

Mine is kind of involved. He mostly says that he trusts my judgement and the only thing that matters to him is marrying me. Luckily though, he sat there and went through the entire galleries from 4 of my photographer 'finalists' and is supporting my crazy this-or-that comparisons for everything. He is pretty involved in the playlist building though! We're having a TON of fun putting that together!

Heavily involved but I'm still able to plan my dream wedding. He just makes clear to me what his opinion is on everything. He was specific about some of the things he wants; for example, he wants us to walk back down the aisle to "pennies from heaven," knew exactly what tux and shoes he wants, and he wanted to make the dinner music playlist. (big band jazz, etc) This was all totally okay with me. He even suggested we do burgundy blush when I wanted all pink and I fell in love with it so that's what we're doing. I like that he is involved.

The only time he's involved if it's something he's demanding to have and won't budge on, like only wanting a "real" minister to perform the ceremony even though neither of us go to church, or than he'll only wear a black tux with a vest. Other than that it's only to tell me the budget can't afford this or that. I'm not the one who set the 1,500 budget though so bummer on him lol