how does this work??

Wedding Classes ... do you mean Pre-Cana?

No, we were never asked by the Priest. At the conference for the engaged they did go over how it should be saved (or at least hold off during the engagement) until marriage. If he asks, don't lie. He won't NOT marry you because of it - the Catholic church isn't stupid. They are fully aware the majority of engaged couples have sex and live together.

Yes Kimi, Pre-Cana. I know I wont be able to lie but wasnt sure if they would kick us out lol. Thank you, you're always helpful!!

I'm not Catholic, but a good friend of mine is. She and her husband were asked the same question. They told the truth, and they are still married. If I remember correctly, they had to do a couple of things in regards to asking for forgiveness (I can't remember what she called it exactly) and not be sexually active anymore prior to the wedding.

Ok Laura thank you. I appreciate your info

He might ask you to do penance, a few prayers together and stuff like that.

We finished our pre-cana a few months ago and just signed up for Engaged Encounter. Every priest, mentor couple, church, and diocese is different, but we have had a fantastic experience. We live together and decided that we weren't just going to blurt it out, but that if asked, we definitely wouldn't lie. When we filled out the info about ourselves with the pre-cana priest, we got to the addresses part, and that's where it came up. He didn't say anything, but definitely gave a look haha. So when we took the FOCCUS test, we had to do an extra section called "Cohabitating couples." It just stressed the Catholic Church's wish for us to abstain and respect the church's teachings. It was basically like a little slap on the wrist. We were expecting much worse, so it was a relief!

(Cont...)

(Cont...)

Our priest who is marrying us has been super understanding. He basically said, "I'm not an idiot...I know that couples move in together before marriage these days. You two are obviously very happy and right for each other, and that's all that matters to me."

Our mentor couple was also awesome about it...their entire family is Catholic, but their son lived with his girlfriend before getting married. Again, they admonished us a little bit. But they were very nice about it and it didn't seem to affect their opinion of us...they too gave us their blessing.

I posted a while back about Engaged Encounter, because I was worried that this would come up and we'd get dirty looks. The girls who responded to my post didn't seem to think it would be a huge problem, if a problem at all. Here's a link to that thread if you're interested: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/engaged-encounter/7fa8c728e672711b.html

(Cont...)

(Cont...)

I've never heard of the church flat out not marrying a couple because they live together...I'm originally from a really strict diocese (Arlington) and my aunt and uncle got married a couple of years ago there...they lived together and my aunt wasn't even Catholic. I mean, the priest wasn't extremely happy, but he still married them...they just had to take a few extra steps in pre-cana (or "jump through some hoops," if you will).

They will never just straight up ask you if you have sex haha...that would be extremely awkward. It's sort of like they know already so would just prefer not to talk about it! Sorry this was such a long post but I hope it was helpful!!

We were never asked during our marriage prep classes and when we met with our Priest he never asked if we've had sex before. He did ask if we were living together and then he put FH's address as his parents address even though when we took the FOCCUS Inventory we filled out the part about cohabitation.

Like Katie Bug said- its different for every parish and/or diocese. I am taking RCIA classes at a different parish then the one we're being married at and the Priests there are a lot more strict about living together before marriage, etc.

Katie, it was extremely helpful and truly appreciate you giving me that info and the details My FH thinks its going to be the focus of the entire class lol. I told him to just relax and see what we are asked and we arent going to lie but not going to talk about it unless asked as well.

Thanks girls.. truly helpful. I'm sure it will be ok but it def is a touchy subject.. I'm glad they realize things are a little different nowadays..

We just had our first meet with the nun at our Church. I am not Catholc and have been married before so I was VERY nervouse. It was all good. We have pre cana in 2 weeks.

I have a meeting with a marriage councler tomorrow to get our certificate! We had to do the course by distance and tomorrow we have to meet with her for 4 hours!!

I have never heard of them not marrying you if you have had pre-marital sex. My cousin just got married in a Catholic church this past July and they have a 7 yr old and a 2 yr old. My mom said that she was pregnant with my brother at her wedding and at her pre-cana classes when it came to sex ed the priest just looked at them and said "well it doesn't seem like you need any advice in this department" RUDE but he married them all the same!

We had our 2nd class thursday and he still hasnt asked-think we will have 2 more to go to so cross your fingers!

We live together, and were honest with our priest who said he wasn't blind to how society is these days. we were asked to go to confession the week before the wedding to absolve us from our sins. they know what's up, but they don't punsih you for it