how do you have two seperate weddings because family doesnt get along?

I know you think you will regret it for the rest of your life if your brother isn't there but trust me you wont. You will be more grateful that you have an amazing husband and it will out way that your brother couldn't man up to be there. AT least you know going in that he wont be there. My brother told me he would be but I knew he wouldn't but kept looking for him from the bridal suite (you can see the guests arrive but they can't see you) and I got so excited for a second when I thought one of my husband's friends was my brother and then I was crushed that it wasn't him. That story hurts to tell but I don't think about it otherwise. I think he is more upset that he wasn't there than I am. I was in his wedding, and in the room when 2 out of 4 of his kids were born even stamped the foot of his first born on her birth certificate (she was my MOH @ 14y) so I think he feels guilty and knows he can never get that back.

You have to do what is best for you. It sounds like your brother is being selfish and probably putting undue stress on your mother's whose immune system is already compromised. I would tell your brother to be an adult or if he doesn't want to to come, that's his decision but you shouldn't have two weddings to accommodate other people. Most importantly it is about you and your FH and what is best for you.