How do you feel about getting approval from the in-laws before the proposal?

I didnt know but my FH asked my parents like 6 months b4 he even proposed. He asked them b4 he went and bought my ring.

I like it. I have always thought that my FH would ask my parents. I can see why people do not like it because it is very out dated but I just think it is kinda nice. Do not ask why I think so but I do.

FH did not really officially get to ask my dad because he was sick and passed away before FH proposed to me. I do know that he did talk to my dad before he passed and my dad told him that he better take care of me and make sure that I am happy! FH told him that he promises me that he will, so I am going to say that might be my dad giving him his blessing. I do know he did talk to my mom about it before he did it and she was good with it. He proposed at our housewarming and she had champagne for afterwards! Also my sister helped pick out my ring, so all my family was happy with us getting engaged!

Yes! My FH called my father (who lives 2000 miles away) before he purposed! That was very important to me!

My father and my partner got to know each other well over the course of time we've been involved. My partner was adamant that he get my father's blessing before he proposed whenever we would talk about planning for the future, and my father loves my partner as his own son. I am sure that it made their bond even closer!

I'm on the fence. I know a lot of people view it as sexist and outdated, and I can completely see that. It almost makes the future fiance property, and the person asking for their hand is essentially asking permission to take that person away.

On the other hand, I think it's sweet. I'm not sure how to describe it, but my FH asked my father if he could marry me before he proposed. I've always been incredibly close to my father, and I guess I just wanted his full approval of the man I was going to marry before I married someone he might think will hurt me in the future. He gave FH a resounding yes, as did my mom, and it made me happy to know that they fully approve of him and are waiting to officially welcome him to the family.

I like it as long as it is truly asking for a blessing, not permission. More like saying "I intend to di this and would like for you to be onboard."

My FH asked my parents for their blessing. I think it should be said, though, that he/she should also ask for their own parents blessing. I've never had a wonderful relationship with my FMIL but it hasn't been bad, either. We live so far away that we have only really met on 3 occassions in 6 years. But when he called her to say we got engaged, she asked FH, "well what does getting married actually change for you?" And told FH that he isn't mature enough to get married (at 27) because he doesn't fit her idea of an ideal son and husband, and we don't look/act like other relationships she sees. She has a VERY hands-on view of her involvement in her children's lives, so I know this is all coming from a place of her not being able to let go and is not a reflection on the quality of FH and my relationship.

All this to say, if his parents had the 3-4 month notice that my parents had, MAYBE our engagement experience would have been better because they would have had more time to process your decision.

My fiance did ask both of my parents but my parents own the jewelry store where he got my ring so they knew all the details. I don't think it's necessary and should be outdated but it think it's sweet to discuss with both parents to gain their support. Obviously, I would assume that most people are aware of the relationship you have with each parent so you should know the reaction they would give you.

I hate it. It's not up to my father, it's up to me. It's possible I'd have said no if he asked my dad first. I get that it's tradition but I'm not property and I'm fully capable of making my own choices. I'd have found it very disrespectful.

Nah. His parents knew since my engagement ring is a family heirloom piece. They didnt know when or how.
My mom had no clue but she loves FH like hes her own son (I lost my brother two months ago so FH also treats my mom like a mother). My dad passed away over ten years ago so FH never met him.
Nobody asked anybody for permission or blessings before we got engaged. We had everyones blessings at the very beginning of our relationship and since we were already living together, I guess everyone expected it 😊

I think it's a sweet gesture. However, my FH did not ask my parents. We were together for 8 years prior to being engaged so I think at that point, everyone was just waiting for his proposal.

Yes! My FH ask both my parents and had most of my family there for the proposal. My family is important to me so I'm really glad he involed them.

My FH talked to my mom way before he asked me. It wasn't really for permission but for her help. My mom knows me more than anyone so he wanted to make sure everything went as planned and that she was okay with us getting married. He did not talk to my dad or stepdad about it, just my mom.

My FH didn't really ask for "approval", per say. He did show my mom the ring ahead of time though, and she gave him her blessing anyway.

I don't think "ask" is a word I would OK with, but let the family know before it happens sure! FH did not tell ANYONE except his sister who helped him pick out the ring. I like that everyone was super surprised! My mom didn't take offense in anyway.

I think it depends on the family relationships. In my family it's not a big deal if the parents aren't asked. My FS thought about talking to my mom about the proposal but he knew she would tell me. I'm happy he didn't tell anyone in my family, none of us are good at keeping secrets.

My fiance called my dad before my fiance was ready to propose to me. I hadn't spoken to my dad in years. My parents were divorced and I despised my dad for the way our family split apart. He wasn't a bad person, he just didn't do the right things as a father.

My fiance called my dad to meet up and my dad recommended a local Denny's. They met up (mind you, my fiance and dad had never hung out prior to that). After hours of talking (my dad loves the sound of his own voice), he asks, "So, tell me. Why did you ask to meet me here today?". My fiance responds, "Well, I know we hadn't spoken much but I know you're still an important part to Peggy's life, and I wanted to ask you for your blessing."

He started balling his eyes. He couldn't form words. He then said, "The fact that I was never there and you still respected me enough to come here and ask for my blessing to marry my daughter..." **cue more crying**

From there, my fiance and I went off to Madrid, Spain on vacation and he proposed to me. He told me the story of meeting my dad and I started crying too. My dad was never there for me, but I know he's trying and he regrets everything.

So yes, I think it's special when you get "approval". They feel included, respected, loved. It's a beautiful thing.

I liked that my fiancé did, mainly because we’d broken up and got back together about a year and a half ago, and I thought it was nice that he wanted to get their blessing for a reason other than tradition. But everyone is different and depending on what the relationship with you guys and with your parents you both may not feel the need.

My FH asked my parents. and I think that was the sweetest things. I very strongly value family and my parents opinion so even though I knew they liked him, to have them approve of our marriage was extra special.

Definitely not necessary, but I think it depends on the relationship. I don't have a great relationship with either of my parents (they're divorced) and I've been on my own since I was 17. FH didn't talk to either of them, the only person who knew he had the ring was his dad.

I view it in a similar way to the father walking the bride down the aisle, it's a sweet tradition if you have that relationship and want to honor him that way, but I personally won't be doing it.

Future wife didn’t necessarily ask. She pretty much told my parents “I bought her a ring and I’m going to propose when we come down for christmas”. My parents love her so it went really smooth