How do I say "We like kids, we just dont want yours at our wedding"??

There is really no good way to explain that. Just address it to who is invited and hope they understand.

I can tell you from experience, I was pretty bitter to find out that my well behaved kid (she was 10 at the time and very respectful) was not invited to a wedding for FHs cousin. We opted not to go. His mother told us that there were kids everywhere, just mine wasn't invited. I am glad I didn't go and give a gift and drive 3 hours for that, honestly.

I personally feel like its an all or nothing thing. WP's kids are one thing. Picking and choosing is not really kosher in my opinion.

It should be all kids or none, only exception would be children in the bridal party. Be ready to have guests decline to come to the wedding. Address your invites to who is invited like "Mr. And Mrs. Smith" not "smith family"

We aren't having any children or anyone under 21. From what I've read on here and what we plan on doing is on the RSVP card, writing that we are reserving 2 spots in your name, so that a husband and wife or whoever will know their kids aren't invited. I've also been very up front in telling people with kids to start looking for babysitters now.

Most people here will say 'all or nothing' no exceptions.... We opted to have a teenage/adult reception, as with my guests/family almost everyone was in older teenage years, with the exception of toddlers. So I didn't feel comfortable excluding mature older teenagers. So we simply put 'teenage/adult reception to follow'. I think it really depends on your guests. It worked fine for us.

ETA: we would have never done this if it meant splitting up families - we did not have anybody with both teenagers and little ones.

I don't really understand inviting some kids and not others. But you can list it on the rsvp cards. Put the number of seats reserved for them so they know kids aren't invited.

I don't think it's all or nothing; you invite the people you want with the kids you want and you make it clear on the invite exactly who you're inviting, as in by name.

You owe no one an explanation. And you don't put anything about that on the invitation.

You should have already addressed the invitations only to those who you are inviting, so if any of these cousins reach out to you to ask you why you simply say, "because this is how we want it."

You don't know them any explanation.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who is feeling this way... I've been trying to figure out how to say it and I've come to the conclusion it'd be pretty messed up to do this... especially if someone goes out of their way to ensure they have a babysitter only to get to the wedding and see other children running around. Initially I thought it'd be easy to just not have any children at the wedding at all but my FH has OOT family with children... I can't expect them to travel over 8 hours to the wedding and not bring their children. That would be very rude in my opinion. I've decided to not worry about it. I'll send out invitations and ask people to let me know if they will be bringing their little one(s).

Thank you ladies, I do appreciate the advise!

I agree with not putting anything on the invitation, especially because it's not a kids-free wedding. Just don't invite people/kids you don't want there.

I am doing my sister and 3 cousins who are in my bridal party (all under 13) no other children.. 18+ up for very close family like cousins. Everyone else is 21+

My FH's second cousin is getting married soon and they didn't invite any kids. Like half the family is staying home because they wouldn't have anyone to watch the kids. And it is a major topic of conversation at family gatherings. It's just one of the many things wrong with this wedding.

Yes we were invited to a distant cousin's wedding he hasn't seen in at least 5-10 years. No gift was sent.

I'm with @Celia on this one. Is your guest list, and you may have a close relationship with some kids and you may only see once or twice a year. There will be three kids in the wedding party, and one of my bridesmaid's son, who we really want there (he is too excited to wear a bowtie). But other than that I am not extending the invite to EVERYONE'S KIDS! I mean, without counting we would be looking at around 20 more kids! And some of them may literally light the place on fire (referring to a cousin who loves to play with fire). So yeah, invite who you want.

What I don't understand is how do people really use the "I don't have a babysitter" excuse with a straight face when they have been given months of notice for the event. I can see OOT guest, but other than that I think it is a lame excuse.

@Alyssachu - I was planning on using the online RSVP feature on wedding wire to save $$ on paper and postage. Do you think its worth it to just pay extra for the paper cards instead and avoid any confusion? Like someone filling out the rsvp for the couple but still showing up with children even tough their names weren't on the online rsvp list?

Actually, I do not agree with only inviting some guest's children. This is a time for you to celebrate with your family and friends and the most kind thing to do is to invite their children to join you. Then your guests can decide if they wish their children to attend.

"We are reserving two seats in your honor".

It's 120 bucks PP for children at my venue and I'd rather give their seats to other adults.

If they ask.....

I'm having a no kids wedding except BP kids. We both just have to many people with kids in each of our families and also friends with kids. And honestly I don't want the kids in the bridal party to stay but it's my little sister and brother and FW little cousin and their parents will be in attendance so they will have to be responsible for them.