How do I handle telling my dad he's not invited if it gets brought up?

I honeslty believe my dad with act like a child whether he comes or doesn't (since he isn't walking me). I try to believe the best about people, but it's the same cycle with him. Everything is everybody else's fault.

Just don't invite your dad, and if he asks you about it, tell him he's not invited. That's not hard.

But I think you're wrong to leave your stepdad (your mother's husband) out. Give him the option as to whether or not he wants to come.

Yea. OP. I think you need to accept that you are going to hurt feelings. There's no getting around that. I would be pissed if my sister's FH's siblings got to go but I didn't. If it gives you that much heartburn, elope. Like you, FH and an officiant.

@ELK, My stepdad has had the option to always be in my life. He talked down on me so much growing up and has never made an effort to have a relationship. He's said maybe two words to my fiancé. He has made his decision on his own already, just as my dad has. I understand where you're coming from though.

I'm going to invite my siblings. I just hope my brother can come even though I'm not inviting my dad. The bad part is...I know all of this will be put on me like It's my fault, but they're the parents. They just assume they have a role and wanna play the part without making an effort (relationship wise). I'm just supposed to go along with it and honestly, all of this is really making me sick of peoples' shit, period. And I know we have to, but I don't wanna invite my oldest younger brother's FW because of how she is with my brother (she threw lighter fluid on him once) and gets mad at him or our family over everything! If she acts like that on our day then, I will be really upset.

Okay just want to offer another persceptive. In FHs first marriage, they were only allowed to invite ten people total. FH wasn't "allowed" to invite his brother, but it was somehow okay for his ex wife to invite her step brother AND his girlfriend. Well, FHs brother passed away shortly after. Even though the marriage didn't work out, it still upsets him to this day that he missed those memories with his brother. Please reconsider inviting your siblings and parents if they mean anything to you. It will still be a very intimate and special wedding.

@Kristen, You are correct. It's my dad and his new wife's son. His birthday is in Oct, but our wedding is in Sept. He'll be 17 this year.

All of this just makes you confront so many feelings and where relationships stand. It just pulls what's really going on out or you just fake it and go on. I am not fond of the latter.

I'm sorry OP. for what it's worth, I think you're making the right choice.

Could any of your siblings pick up your younger brother so he could make it to the wedding?

It sounds like you really don't like your family, so maybe just elope.

FH and I just got Chinese food. The fortune cookie says, "Q. What is K.M.S.? A. Keep Mouth Shut, the golden rule." I thought that was quite hilarious for the occasion! LOL

@A this is my previous post to kinda refresh on what happened with my dad. https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/how-do-tell-my-biological-father-he-wont-be-walking-me-down-the-aisle/9f76e9c77eec4142.html

After some reflecting, I admit I was wrong about not considering my siblings. Of course I will invite them. I just don't know how it'll work with my youngest brother with him being a month shy of 18 then.

Also, about my stepdad, I understand where y'all are coming from and should at least talk to my mom about it to see what she says. Automatically not inviting him without talking to her would put her in an uncomfortable situation and I don't want to do that.

With my dad... I just don't know. I've tried with him and my stepdad both, apologized and made an effort. With my SD, he acts as if I'm not there still or like I never tried. That is almost better than someone being in and out, in and out. You can't just show up after about 17 years and expect things to be just dandy (4 years ago at my sister's wedding, I saw him for the first time since I was 7...I'm 28 now). Relationships take work and effort on both ends and I'm not the only one he's like this with. He's the same with my brother and sister. So is my stepdad with one of my other brothers (I have 2 brothers from him and a brother and sister from my dad). Then, they play victim. I've taken responsibility and have forgiven them both. But how they are in return, hurts. It's like pouring salt in a wound. It's like, if you're not gonna be consistent, just leave me alone.