How do I tell my biological father he won't be walking me down the aisle?

Obviously you're not finished, but by the title I'm gonna say you tell him he's not walking you down the aisle because he doesn't know your FH and he can't even commit to coming. F that!

If he come he come if not forget him but give him a invitation . Let someone walk you Down the aisle that been there. I'm let my biological father walk me down the aisle and my step father walk me the rest . Reason is because my step father raised me

If his response was "I'll try to come.", I'd say it's safe to say he knows he's not walking you down the aisle.

Just tell him... my dad has been out of the picture since I was 12... & he only shows up when he needs something. I've asked my uncle... my dad doesn't know I'm getting married. He consistently blames me for things that I either didn't have control over or I was super young, like 15 yrs old. Just saying, I think I understand where you're coming from & if your dad is messy like my own, save the drama that it can potentially create for something else.

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So I brushed it off and chose to let it go because, nothing was ruining my joy on that day. It really hurt my fiance's feelings (I had him on speakerphone) and I told him the reason why I let it go and that if it comes up again, I'll say something.

Fast forward, he's now trying to be supportive and has mentioned being the person who marries us, at his church (not happening). We have decided on either his brother, my BIL or pastor. I really don't care out of the three. It's no big deal to me because, they all will handle it very well and mean a lot to us.

I don't even know if my stepdad will be attending as we've never had a real relationship. It's always been as roommates kind of and even though I've apologized for being a terror of a teenager, there's still no change. So, he isn't walking me either. I haven't mentioned any of this to my mom or family, yet.

I asked a close friend of ours who him and his wife have been very supportive and he has been like a father to us. A mentor to him and I. He said he would be honored to walk me down the aisle. So do I just not say anything until the day or come out and say it? He can be very childish about things. Also, I will not be having a father/daughter dance. This stress makes me want to elope or go to the courthouse, honestly.

DO NOT let the stress of this make you change your plans. Have the wedding you want to have! I think if you come out and say it now, you'll have the rest of this time to not stress about it. But you still have time if you're not comfortable with it just yet.

I think you should have a heart to heart with him now. It will hurt and be awkward but better early on than right before

The main reason I try to avoid conflict is because I don't want that bridge completely burned and I don't want him saying that my brother can't hang out with me anymore. Which, he is 16, fixing to be 17 and will be own his own before long. So I try to keep peace. Needless to say, my fiance and BIL both feel the same about him with how he was/is with my sister and I. He walked her down the aisle though, but she is so sweet I don't think she's capable of being mean at all. I don't want to be mean about it either, just honest.

I'm in the same boat. When I got engaged my dad said "it would have been nice if I could have met him first" (my fiancé and I were together for 7 years lol). I was really stressed about it and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. My mom is going to walk me down the aisle. I'm going to send him and his wife an invitation and I'm hoping he'll get the hint. If he asks, I'll tell him the truth. I know it sounds harsh, but he has caused a lot of turmoil in my life. It's unfortunate we have to stress about this (and wedding planning seems to make me really aware that I don't have a father figure), but we deserve to enjoy this time without the anxiety of hurting someone's feelings who never really cared about ours. You're in my thoughts! I know it's tough. It's an honor to walk someone down the aisle and you should have someone do it who realizes this!

Thank y'all for the support. It's just so awkward and I was curious of how others handled similar situations.

Andie, thank you for the tip. That's a good idea to try. I may wait until after I send invites, unless he brings it up first. He would always say, how's what's his name? You still with what's his name? Or call him a different name knowing good and well he knew it. Thank you, I'll send some prayers for you as you're dealing with this too and for others on here dealing with this. We honestly shouldn't have to deal with it.

You don't have to have a father or a father figure, to walk you down the aisle. That tradition has sexist and archaic roots. Why not asked your mother? Both parents walked with me and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Both parents has become the norm, in the weddings I attend.

Thanks Heather <3 its definitely unfortunate and I've spent many nights upset over it. Remember how many people do love and support you and your fiancé and try to focus on the good!

Dreamer, I had considered that and had considered walking myself. However, this man I asked has really been there so much for the both of us and it just seems right. I haven't seen both parents walk anyone, but it sounds just as lovely.

I'm in a similar situation. The man we thought was my father turned out not to be when I was 13. He hadn't been a great father (in and out) up until then and when he found out he wanted nothing to do with me. The rest of his family didn't care and are still my family. He now lives with my grandma (his mom) and his 2 sons whom I consider to be my brothers and I love them to the moon. We get along fine and all now (I got over that crap long ago) but I don't see him as my father. I want to ask my grandpa (who was like a father to me) but I think he (not-father) will be mad about it. He's a super dramatic person and is very much so a victim. I'm just hoping I can swing it with as little drama as possible so he won't prevent my brothers from coming.

I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry he's putting you in this situation.

Gosh Marion, that's a tough situation. However, if that's how he is and you feel more comfortable with your grandpa, I would do that. I understand the drama part. It would really hurt my feelings if he told his wife (I love her so much..she is so sweet) and my brother not to come. Thanks girl, same for you. :/

Just tell him. There's no beating around the bush about that. Be honest, but do it sooner rather then later so he has time to deal with his own feelings about it. Hopefully you can discuss it like adults. My father walked out of my life when I was 9 and only recently called me. He should count himself lucky I spoke to him, so should your father. All my siblings are invited to my wedding, but my biological father is not. I have a great relationship with my step father. He's the only father I have ever really known. He's the only one I would ever consider walking me down the aisle. I hope your father comes to your wedding with the rest of the family

Kimberly, that's great that you have a great relationship with your stepfather! That's one in a million! All of my siblings will be invited as well and I hope so too as long as he doesn't act like a butt while there. Hopefully it will all go well for us all on here! At the end of the day, all that truly matters is saying, "I do" to that wonderful man of mine. We'll be marrying each other regardless of what happens or doesn't happen. The wedding we have and all...if they come, they come. If they don't, they don't.

I'm sorry, Heather. You're totally within your rights to choose who should walk you down the aisle. Your dad will probably be upset no matter when you tell him. If you tell him now there's a chance he'll be bitter and not come to your wedding but if you spring it on him at the last second, he might storm out of your ceremony in front of your guests. It's going to be a bit messy no matter what but you're doing what's right for you

Omg are you my long lost sister?