How do I tell my biological father he won't be walking me down the aisle?

Rachel, you make a good point. Last minute would probably make it worse. Maybe I should wait until my fiancé is with me? That may make it worse too, but I'd feel more secure in the conversation.

Gwen, I assume you're having the same ordeal as I?

I say just do your thing keep him out of the pic until you send the invitations, I'm pretty sure he will call you asking who you are marrying LoL and that is when you let him know that is the reason why he wont walk you because he knows nothing about you. My Sister (from another Father) married last year she was raised by my dad her father was never in her life. Even though she was raised by my father he didn't walk her she chose an older brother. She never mentioned anything to my dad and didnt even comment about him walking her that day. On wedding day she announced my brother was walking her. Don't worry about it It's about you and how you feel best. It's your day relax, enjoy, and do things like you please not too please others.

Dont try to please those that play a victim role because they are the ones that are the least in your life. That's how I see it the people that make it harder on you are usually the least involved in your life.

Do your thing girl!

I think that having your fiance with you is a good idea. It's totally reasonable to want support.

My dad and I also had an off again, on again relationship and he's just, at this point in my life, incapable of being the parent I need him to be. We were getting along at the time I got engaged, but I knew I still wanted to include my stepdad, who has been a real dad to me since I was 2, so I didn't ask, I respectfully told my dad that it would mean a lot to me to include my stepdad in the ceremony. My dad hasn't talked to me since that conversation back in October and therefore, FH and I decided he is not welcome to attend my wedding.

I think it's safe to say that you're allowing your dad to use your brother as a way to manipulate your relationship with him. Your brother is at a point where he is old enough to decide if he wants a relationship with you or not. If you don't want your dad to walk you down the aisle, I think having that conversation earlier than later is best.

I think your family friend who has been like a father to you is the person you feel in your heart should be giving you away. It also sounds like it would be an honor to him. This is your day, so do what's best for you, not anyone else.

My FH would definitely take up for me if needed. He obviously wouldn't overstep. I just don't want to be fake about it and I'm not going to.

Amanda, I'm sorry. I don't understand why people act like that and can't put their own feelings aside for one day. I don't blame you though for your decision and I would probably be the same way.

I don't know if he'd be like that about my brother, but you just never know. I take up for my brother a lot with him and I know he doesn't like that. I mean, he's a teenager and so, that's hard for both parent and child. But I'm not his mother so I don't understand the venting to me about him. I feel shady for listening at it. Him and I are closer than my other 3 siblings and he's the youngest. It's crazy how that can be, but anyway. I just do not want him walking me or having a father/daughter dance. It's like he wants to swoop in as the protective parent and get all the good stuff when he wasn't/isn't there much otherwise. Like we're buddy buddy or something. My FH isn't having a mother/son dance either.

The man I asked flat out said that he'd be honored to and he was more excited than my dad. I'm super grateful for the support we do have. It helps overshadow people being jerks for no reason. My FH and I have had one big fight in the whole 3 years we've been together, almost breaking up. I made the mistake of speaking to my dad about it and I think he has a problem still. I don't though. But I learned real quick, DO NOT discuss any issues with family. Just leave them out of it. I really can't imagine one incident being the sole reason of his actions since I've heard he's this way with everyone.

Just tell him. I know it's easier said then done but just rip the band aid off. Make sure you still invite him.

Yeah, I still want to invite him. Thank y'all for the help with this!

I am having a similar problem. Except I have already asked my step father to walk me down the aisle and I am not sure how to tell my real father about it. I know that he and my real fathers family are going to be upset about it but my step father has always been there for me way more than my real father. My step father and my mother raised me and that is that. My real father never tried that hard to be in my life as an adult, but he was around for my childhood so it is hard. I do not know what to say. I have thought about having them both walk me down the aisle but I know that they have bad blood so I am not sure that they will do it.

It sounds like your father was around even less than mine so I guess if I was in your situation and you don't have a step father like myself I would walk myself or have my mom do it.

If he doesn't call and doesn't come around then I just wouldn't say anything. You don't need him there to bring you down and you have someone who is supporting you in that roll. Don't need to bring it up randomly if he never asks about it.

You have who you want walk you down the aisle! I am having my grandpa and my uncle walk me down the aisle because my father is not in my life consistently. My grandpa and grandma raised me. In my opinion dad's lose that right when they choose not to be in the picture.

I'm in a similar situation. My dad knows nothing about me. We barely talk. No hard feelings really. We just don't have a relationship. My step dad is more active in my life by a super long shot. However, my brother will be walking me down the aisle. My dad will know I'm engaged when he gets a save the date or if we decide to have an engagement party.

He probably has no expectation that he will be walking you. I wouldn't bring it up unless he did.

Okay thanks! I'll probably just keep it to myself then unless he brings it up. If he isn't walking me, he doesn't come to the rehearsal right? I suppose when I send invites, I'll just wait and see what happens. I'd rather not have added stress. However, my mom created this Pinterest board and pinned songs for father/daughter dance. I haven't even brought that up..I'm just ignoring it.

My parents split up when I was 14. It was a nasty divorce where my siblings and I had to endure a hostile environment created by my father and step mom. He was not part of my life until I was 21 when my younger brother passed away. Since then, he has made a huge effort to be a part of my life, but I have not totally forgiven him. Ideally, I would have my mom walk me down the aisle but she is worried she will be an emotional wreck. I have decided that my FH and I will walk down together or will meet halfway.

I never had to bring it up. My dad asked me what he should wear to the wedding because "he wanted to look nice when he walked me down the aisle". I was taken aback and just said "well you're not so you can wear whatever you want". He was hurt and brings it up every once in awhile but honestly it was nice that he brought it up and I didn't have to.

Do not let him stress you out. However, I think you need to tell him now bc based on what you mentioned if you wait until the day of, he might have a temper tantrum and you definitely don't want that to happen.

Best of luck