How did you decide: what kind of wedding?

We weren't sure initially. I knew I didn't want a hotel ballroom feel since we had been to so many weddings recently exactly like that- plus they come at a big cost. We focused on the feeling we wanted for our wedding- elegant but not black tie formal, a decent meal, and a bit quirky. The lead us to our venue and the decor style just evolved from there.

You have some time yet so don't hold yourself to any commitments. Just start to brainstorm ideas and check out the costs of those ideas.

I think your wedding should be something that best fits your personality. If you want to hold it at a pub and have a pool table- you should totally do it. That sounds like fun!

Well I agree with K+B, its your day and you should do what you feel is right for you. I am sorta in the same boat... Our weddings are more casual and tbh very rare lol. I want the whole 9 yards the wedding the reception w/ dj, good meal, dancing, photo booth yada yada yada... But then I am like well i like the casual thing just a big fam get together... Good luck hun!!

I think couples get sucked into this whirling vortex of planning and some of them end up with a party that is four times as expensive and twice as big as they thought it might be.

You're three years out. You have at least a year and a half before you have to do anything at all. Try on different scenarios, figure out a dollar amount you're willing to plunk down, and go from there.

We actually both had a very good idea of what we wanted. Outdoor, his parents house, summer, garden party style ... we had it all planned out and then realized that renting all the stuff for it (including a pricey tent because an outdoor wedding in the Seattle area is ... risky).

We decided to visit an indoor venue just to see how we liked it ... we fell in love, and booked that night, and our ENTIRE vision changed.

The venue is an old 1920s hotel so it just seemed fitting to go with a 1920s art deco inspired event ... so TOTALLY different from our original vision but it just sort of fell together that way.

We based it on our relationship with one another: romantic, fun and classy.

Well, we knew that we wanted to get married in Hawaii since all of FH's family is there and my family has the means to travel there. The location helped us decide the kind of wedding we wanted. We wanted something a little casual, family oriented and embracing the tropical nature of the island. We found an oceanfront beach estate that we could stay at AND host our wedding there. It's a lot more work than a traditional venue because we have to rent everything and ship all of our stuff over but it'll be worth it.

Maybe there's a way to incorporate your style into the traditional route? Maybe look for a brewery or winery?

Start with what you know-- your budget, and who you want there. That will help you decide which of these options you can do. Then work from what you *want*, not what's possible. If it's possible, but you don't really want it-- perhaps photobooths, flowers, grooms cakes, dancing-- whatever-- will fall into this category. When you've spent your money, there's your wedding.

And always remember: no matter what you do, you won't be any more married at the end of the evening.

We knew the type of people we are. We had absolutely no desire for a froo-froo uberexpensive fancy formal wedding. That's not us. Plus with our parents dead (or mostly dead), we had no one to impress or control us.

We're fun, simpler people - so we had a beachside wedding and our reception was homemade bbq (smoked on the premises by a BBQ champ), live band, and kegs of beer. Everyone had a good time.

Our ideas of a wedding both meshed pretty well. He thinks 50 people including the wedding party is excessive, but he has no family except his parents and sister and only two good friends that live here since he is originally from Florida.

We are totally non traditional people, and pretty chill and fun. BUT i wanted the dress. so we are having a wedding. we are having it early enough to have great light for photos right after the ceremony. then: dinner, cake and dancing with family and friends...then i am sending my mom home with our kids, changing out of my dress and hitting the dive bars with our friends for the rest of the night! my kids will be home in bed by 10, and my FH and I will be drinking and catching up with all or our people (old and new!). Can't wait!

My friend had a small church wedding, just family and close friends, and then dinner at an Italian restaurant that serves family-style food after. It was lovely and laid back.... i've also seen wedding parties at local Irish pubs on Saturday nights, still in their wedding finery, enjoying beers and live music... Agree with Celia - build a budget and do what feels right for you!

We knew we wanted small, and fun. So we chose a small, mostly inclusive venue that allowed us to spend the whole weekend with our guests, party in the hot tub til the wee hours, etc. It was so fitting for us - look at all your options!

I debated and wondered if I would miss the "traditional" type stuff - fancy set up with all this carefully planned decor and the head table etc. And looking back I am SO glad we had none of that. It doesn't suit us, we don't enjoy it,

You might be able to rent out a small pub and spend the night with a DJ playing pool and having awesome pub grub!

I'm having trouble deciding too! I keep going back and forth between having a cocktail party reception or a sit down dinner. I think we'll probably stick with the cocktail reception idea. That's just more our style. We both enjoy going to nighclubs so we're used to standing and walking around with drinks socializing. That's just our thing . I'd feel kind of awkward being the center of a formal dinner. If we do a formal dinner I won't allow speeches or a garter toss or anything like that. Too awkward for me.

My FH is just like yours too, doesn't care one way or another. Just as long as we get married. We've even considered eloping because these decisions are just too overwhelming! But I guess it's too late for that now, we've already booked our venues!

My FH just said "do whatever makes you happy!" And I have been planning my wedding since I was 5 lol! So I knew it would HAVE to be a winter wedding because that's my favorite season and, since it's my favorite season, I wanted it winter themed. Then I chose my colors in high school because that's when I really figured out my style. Pretty easy for me.

Right now I'm indecisive about my wedding colors. I had decided on coral, gold, and ivory but I love shades of purple (plum/ eggplant) and fuchsia... But, I know when I see shades of bridesmaid dresses and when I meet with my decorator--I'll be able to make a final decision. As the other part of the wedding, I've always known I would have a big wedding and my unofficial theme would be a night of elegance... I love tall centerpieces, uplighting, flowers, drapes, and candles. I know that I def. want a wide variety of food during cocktail hour and a sit down dinner. An open bar is a must have!

Being one of the youngest of 20 first cousins in a fairly tight-knit family, I felt as though a certain precedent was set, long before FH and I were engaged. I'm not complaining, but literally every cousin before me has had a big wedding with the whole family. I can't imagine not inviting them, because I just don't know any other way.

In terms of style and decor, I just went with timeless, classy feel. I'm always writing on these boards about how I don't want my wedding too look to trendy and dated.

We had everything planned and then started over when we realize it wasn't us. I went back to what I dreamed. If a small wedding in a pub is what you want go for it. It is your day. There are no rules. It is about you and him no one else. Remember that before you end up starting over like I did. I don't regret it.

I knew from the very beginning what I didn't want: a stuffy old fancy shmancy affair. I didn't want to play pretend on my wedding day.

The more my FH and I discussed, the more we realized that the comfort and happiness of our friends and family is our one wedding priority. I suppose you just agree on the parts that are most important to you and your FH and work from there.

I never wanted a wedding at all but my fiance wanted the traditional ceremony/reception and all that jazz. It was really important to him so I gave in. and I must say since we have planned it, I am really glad we went that way and I found ways to make it my style too. I am really excited for it!