How can I include my stepdad????

I’m in this situation right now what did you end up doing and how did it turn out?

I'm experiencing the same problem.. my stepdad has been in my life since I was 5 and has been an AMAZING father-figure (raised me, been there for everything, paid for literally every part of my life, loved me like his own). My dad has always ~sort of~ been around and we've definitely had our issues.. my dad and SD do not like each other AT ALL (and neither do my mom and dad for that matter).. I recently got engaged, and my SD is absolutely thrilled while my dad has very mixed feelings.. I just told my them all (mom. Dad, SD, SM) I want both my dad and my SD to walk me down the aisle. My mom says that its a good idea and my SD says he's okay with whatever I decide but my dad and step mom FLIPPED. My SM says that it should only be my dad and that doing both is disrespectful to my dad, that I shouldn't take that away from him, and it will crush him if I do both... I want to include them both and I feel that I should be able to do whatever I want to do without being made to feel guilty about it, but now I have no idea what to do because i don't want to cause issues.. 😭

View Quoted Comment I love this idea, this is also what I am considering. I feel like it signifies that your stepdad entered your life and became a significant part of it - enough to be entitled to give you away - but it still reserves that precious honour for your bio dad. My plan is to offer that to my stepdad along with the option of father daughter dance, and see what he says. That way if he chooses not to join in on giving me away because he doesn’t want anything to do with my bio dad, that’s his choice and I know I gave him a say. Good luck!

I am in a similar situation! We have decided to have my dad walk me down the aisle. Then when we get to the end, my stepdad will step out and both give me away!

View Quoted Comment

Hi Mrs. Leon,

How did you decide if your dad or step-dad got the first or second first look? Neither one cares who goes first for me, but I need other people's takes on it!

I would have both of your dads walk you down the aisle, it's a cute moment, and I love going to weddings and seeing brides walk down the aisle with both her dads in arm.

Last year I attended a wedding of a friend in a similar situation. She had both her Dad and her Step-Dad walk her down the isle. It was such a beautiful sight and both Dads felt so touched they were part of the day. Maybe you could have them both walk you down the isle and then have two father/daughter dances at the reception, or have your Dad walk you down the isle then have a Step-Dad/daughter dance or just a special acknowledgement of your Step-dad and the role he has played in your life. Given your great relationship, he must understand the relationship you have with your Dad.

At the end of the day, it is your wedding an no-one should make you feel bad for who walks you down the isle. No matter who pays for what, this is a sacred tradition and no-one should tell you who should be walking you down the isle.

I had a similar situation! Because of Filipino traditions, both my mom and dad will escort me down the aisle. My step parents are walking down as a part procession. Maybe your stepdad can give the welcome speech instead of your dad, so they share the duties of the day. That might even be a better fit! Since your stepdad is paying for the wedding, he’s the host and he should have that moment in the spotlight with you and your SO too.

View Quoted Comment Hi Jaime!
I’m here having the same issue as well😬. I was wondering what you wound up doing for your wedding??

Thanks!

View Quoted Comment I am in this exact same position!! What did you end up doing for your wedding? And did it work out well? Would have changed the way you did it?

I'm sorry you're in this position.

If you were paying for the wedding yourself, I would say do what you want, but the fact that your stepdad is paying for it complicates things. I would say its good form to include him in the ceremony. I went to a wedding in December where the groom walked down the aisle separately with both sets of parents. It was nice.

Good luck.

Have your stepdad say the prayer over you guys, or read your favorite bible verse/book/movie quote. something special.