How can I include my stepdad????

I'm in a similar situation :/ My stepdad has been with my mom since I was 12 and has always been there for me, sometimes more than my real dad. But recently my real dad has been my go-to father figure (especially with all things having to do with my fiance) because when my fiance asked my mom and step-dad for their blessing they basically said no. So now I am not sure what to do.

I would suggest doing the walk down the aisle with only your dad. And doing a father-daughter dance with both your dad and stepdad, with separate songs for each. Hope it works out

Have both of them walk you one on each side

Lorvana---I just don't know if it is that simple. I am my dad's only daughter. I don't want to take this special experience away from him. My dad and my stepdad don't necessarily get along well and I don't want it to be a slap in the face if I ask my stepdad to join us.

Try to think of something special for your stepdad to be a part of in your wedding. Especially if he is paying for the wedding.

Here is a question... who had been there for you from the beginning, through thick and thin?

I have been in your shoes (both Dad and Step Dad walked me down the aisle) and get that you don't want to take that moment away from your Dad but in my opinion, your Step Dad has earned that moment with you as well. I understand they may not get along well but they can put their differences aside for one day to do this for you. This shouldn't be a competition, it is the two men who have loved and protected you in life so far escorting you to this new phase of your life. This moment isn't about them, it is about you and your FH. I cannot tell you how many guests mentioned to me how special they thought it was that I asked both of them to escort me and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Have you talked to your Dad or Step-Dad about it? I understand and was in the same situation. My Dad came to me and asked if I wanted to include my Step-Dad which I did. He talked to my Step-Dad and he didn't want to take away from my Dad's moment with me.

I did do separate first looks with each of them. I also did a father/daughter dance with each of them.

My FSIL had this same issue. She had her stepdad walk her halfway down the aisle and give her to her real dad who then gave her away. When I first heard the plan it was hard to picture, but there wasn't a dry eye in the place and it all worked out perfectly and smoothly. They were both honored and the stepdad was actually surprised he was included in that way because he understood that her real father was in the picture - (same situation about stepdad paying for it all as well!)

You can have them both walk you down the aisle - why are you putting your dad's feelings above your own? Your stepfather raised you and you want to honor him. You have that right.

That said, you can have your stepdad....

Walk you halfway down

Do a reading

Be involved in the unity ceremony

Father/Daughter Dance

Do a Toast

If you are having a special part where your parents are mentioned, mention him

First look

My dad is going to walk my down the aisle as well as have a father-daughter dance while my step dad is going to perform the ceremony.

Can one walk you down the aisle and the other do the f/d dance?

Your Dad is definitely entitled to his moment! You can give your stepdad a reading at the ceremony or can bring up the gifts. It's your stepdad's choice to pay for the wedding but he should understand about your biological dad. Good Luck!!

My sister had her dad and my dad walk her down the aisle. He's been her step-dad since she was 9. She says he raised her as a father should just as much as her father. She also danced with both of them. She picked a song for her dad (I can't remember it right now) but danced to "To Sir with Love" with my dad. It fit perfect.

Don't feel pressure to make changes for your mom. If you want to include your stepdad, include him. Also, don't not include him to avoid hurting your dad. It's a hard decision but go with your gut.

If your step-dad is paying for your wedding I think he deserves a little more then doing a reading. I think having him do the toast would be nice since he is paying.

Have your dad walk you down the aisle, then ask your step-dad to do the welcome toast. You can dance with each of them too (but maybe shorten each song if you're worried about guests getting bored)

Have both of them walk you down, if possible.

I would ask my real dad how he felt about the both of them walking you down the aisle. And tell him how you feel about it too.

Not sure how this would look or sound lol but maybe have one walk you down half way and the other walk you down the rest. Or have them both walk you down, or give you away

Sounds like a tough situation but your step dad deserves more than a reading for many reasons not just because he's paying. Although that is huge!

I would have them both walk me down the aisle or let each of them walk me half way. Both dads deserve this honor since you're close to both of them.

They will have to tolerate each other for a 2 minute walk.

I am in a similar situation except my dad is a complete POS . my step dad is paying for everything and he is going to get the dance and to walk me down the aisle . He's been apart of my life since I was 1. The hardest thing is trying to find a song to dance to since I am not a "daddy's girl"

Following for my ideas but also sharing what I'm considering so far.

I'm basically in the exact same boat, and although I have a sister on my dad's side I don't want to take any light away from him and the iconic father/daughter walk.

I'm first going to ask him what he thinks we should do to honor my stepdad. He always mentions how much he appreciates my stepdad and how grateful he is my mom ended up with him. So, maybe he'll suggest both walking down, or maybe he'll have a better idea. This will allow me (and you! to gage how he feels about sharing the spotlight.

If not, what I'm thinking I'll do is have my stepdad waiting at the end of the asile (near the first row) for my dad and I, and standing to give me away with my dad. So when they ask, who gives this bride, they will both state their names and share the groom's hand.

I feel like it includes him, but still allows my dad some exclusivity.

Either way, I plan on running it by my dad first.

I'll also share a dance with him.