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Samantha
VIP October 2020

How are you supporting and being supported by your Fs?

Samantha, on April 6, 2020 at 1:56 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11
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Hello future brides and grooms! After such a difficult few weeks, how are you supporting your spouse and being supported? I'm working as much as always and my FS is furloughed, so he's picked up a lot of slack cooking, cleaning, and running errands while I support us financially. We're talking a lot and going on evening walks with no electronics and having bedtime check-ins to make sure we're both doing well and to vent about anything that needs venting. What's working for you?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Salem, on April 7, 2020 at 4:50 AM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    We are both still fully employed except having to work from home. because our hours are so different [he basically works less amount of hours than i do] he has been picking up chores a bit more.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    I am still working on my office (law firm=legal services=we stay open) and my FH was recently furloughed at this company. While we weren't anticipating him being furloughed because we works in pain management; he was until May. But he has been doing a lot of the house work and cooking. We talk everyday about how each of us are feeling about this situation. We try to take a walk after I get home, my allergies have been bad lately so that hasn't been happening as much. I feel bad for my FH, he told me last week he is jealous that I get to work everyday while he is home but we got through it and talked it out.

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    We're in almost the exact same situation. I'm an attorney and I'm also still going to the office. I know that my FH is a little envious that I'm still spending most of my time out of the house and it's hard that there's nothing I can do about it. I know it's higher risk, but I'm grateful to still be at work and feeling that sense of drive every morning even if it is stressful at times.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I'm a legal assistant. I feel the exact same way. I try not to complain too much about work to my FH right now. We aren't doing any office conferences, we have a secured drop box if clients need to drop things off, otherwise everything is done by phone, mail or email. I feel better getting up each morning because of my job; my FH gets up with me to keep a routine but I know this is hard for him.

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  • Allie
    Rockstar November 2021
    Allie ·
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    I work in a law office but most of us have been furloughed since March 20th. My FH works in manufacturing (he helps manufacture military parts) so he’s still working and basically financially supporting us both. I’ve always done most of the cooking, but I’m trying to make things a little easier for him when he comes home from work, like feeding the dog and taking her out at night and other things he usually does when he gets home. I’ve found myself spending a lot of time alone due to all this too so I try to be outside as much as humanly possible because the sun is a great pick me up. It’s rough, and I know they say not to wear your engagement ring right now, but I do and every time I look down at it I remember that we have so many things to look forward to once this is all over!
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  • Holly
    Dedicated September 2021
    Holly ·
    • Flag

    My fiancé is an asphalt paver and is on unemployment right now. They aren't being considered essential. I am considered "essential" as I work at a VA hospital. I remain grateful that I am working and my love has been doing things around the house more than normal because he is off. He said previously that he wouldn't mind being a "house husband" and I laughed then, and now I'm telling him he's getting in some good practice!

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  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    Well, we're both developers and thus incredibly blessed to be working from home. However, he did take a salary cut for three months, so I'm glad most of the wedding was paid off already. We're now focusing on living comfortably within our means, mostly my paychecks, and also not killing each other while working remotely. We've adopted a new routine: my morning starts earlier since I have an early call, then he joins me and we both focus on work for the next 8 hours except for breaks to eat/talk/vent. It's nice to not have to shoot off a text tbh. But he's also started making sure I drink enough water- I used to down several rounds of filtered water from the office because I would have it on my desk while I'm working - and i'm making sure he actually takes breaks. So we're making it work lol. All in all we know we're blessed
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  • Mary
    Dedicated October 2020
    Mary ·
    • Flag

    We're not able to support each other.

    We live separately, and I haven't seen him in 3 weeks, since the beginning of the Bay Area lockdown. It's especially frustrating because we only live 6 miles apart, but he has half custody of his teenage son (from previous marriage), and we really can't be going back and forth like we have since we started dating. All we have is Zoom.

    Furthermore, I have (suspected) COVID-19, so I've been struggling with this alone. I'm finally on the recovery side (I think) of the illness now, but between that and postponing our wedding, it's been a very rough 3 weeks.

    Financially-wise though, we're in good shape. We're both software engineers for a large game company, on a video game that is doing very well right now. There is little danger of us losing our jobs anytime soon, as we can continue working from home through the summer--I fully expect us to not return to work until June at the earliest.

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that this has been so difficult for you. I hope you’re still able to Skype or FaceTime your FS often. When we were long- distance, Skype was our life blood. I hope you feel better soon!
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    We're both furloughed/on catastrophe pay, so this has been an exercise in "what do we do all day??"

    Well, we've been alternating between cleaning, having fun with the kitchen-oriented wedding gifts, watching TV, video chatting with friends/family, sleeping, and generally combating boredom. We're in a hot spot, so we don't even go out for a lot of walks - the mental strain is intense.

    This has really revealed how grateful we are that we have each other, and that we can problem solve and communicate really well.

    The biggest worry is that we're trying to have a baby, but ... well, we didn't exactly plan on *not being fully employed* while starting our family.

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  • S
    Dedicated August 2021
    Salem ·
    • Flag
    I am a physician and my fiancé is a grad student 1 month from graduation. As you can imagine I have been working insane hours (currently on nights in emergency room) and he has been finishing classes from home with his new job start date post poned. He has been so supportive and caring of me during this time but I know it’s hard for him as well to have his career put on hold. I think listening, providing support, exercising together, spending our time detaching from the current state of things even if for the length of a meal or evening we will shut off the news and get lost in a movie or try a new recipe together, something fun- it brings back some normalcy to our lives.
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