Hosting my own Bridal Shower

@FFW.. I am a huge planner and always plan and host special events for the people in my life. I hosted a baby shower for my employee when I heard no one was doing one for her. And I AM lucky enough to have all of my bridal party excited about a shower and Bach party. They even planned a surprise engagement party for me when I said I didn't want one, haha.

But if that's an experience she really wants, why shouldn't she be able to do it herself if no one wants to/can. I personally do not have my mom anymore or aunts/grandparents. I have 2 sisters who will be in my BP, but if I didn't? Would I just not get anything? It seems silly to me, especially in this day and age.

Also.. I proposed to my FH.. that seems to be looked down upon too. I'm not big on needing to follow "tradition" so maybe I'm just in the minority with my thoughts and opinions around here.

Tiffany, I proposed to my FH. Its not looked down on at all. Not here anyways. I think you are putting words into peoples mouths a little too much.

OP has other options if she wants to host a get together. No one should host an event where the object is to be showered in gifts. Its gift grabby and rude. YOU hosted someones baby shower (which is very sweet) the preggers lady didn't because that would have been rude. Your sisters are hosting your wedding shower, not you because that would be rude.

OP is taking the suggestions really well. You aren't. Why?

I'm playing devils advocate and asking the things that I'm sure other people are thinking too. There was just a post a few days ago where people complained about banning and people being rude in general. I don't anyone should be banned (unless it's over the top) but I do think people are afraid to post things that are not in line with the general consensus on this forum. I personally know other people that won't post here because they are afraid of the response.

And I don't think I've been rude at all. I'm honestly asking because I want to see what people's response are. I think it's good for forums such as this to see different view points and opinions.

For the love of God.

Tiffany: MrsToBe didn't call YOU rude. She said hosting your own party is considered gift grabby and rude.

But isn't the whole point of posting on a forum to hear what the general consensus on a topic is? If something is against etiquette or overall tacky to a majority of people then that would be the information one would be looking for.

Of course you can host your own shower if you'd like, but chances are the MAJORITY of people you'd invite would think it was gift grabby.

@Emily, regarding the MOH requirements, the other ladies are right. They are not REQUIRED to do host parties, attend appointments, etc.

However, I think most women would agree that they would want to try and do more than the basic requirement, as a friend. I know that I would be by your side crafting until my fingers bleed even if I couldn't afford to throw you a party. As a friend, I would want to come to your dress shopping appointment. I would still try to make it special, as a friend.

The difference I think is when people get upset and angry when those things aren't automatically done for them (not saying that you are OP), instead of trying to be understanding of other people's prior commitments and financial situations. Does that make sense?

Nothing - you should not ask and you can not throw it yourself . If anyone asks if your having one just tell them you are not sure no one offered to throw one.

Actually, grown adults are not entitled to hosted birthday parties any more than brides-to-be are entitled to engagement parties, wedding showers, or bachelorette parties. Nobody is entitled to a hosted party.

Yes, the only obligation of the honor attendants is to show up on time in the dress the bride selected. Chances are, the MOH will organize at least some of the typical parties that go along with weddings -- but she's not obligated to. This issue comes up again and again because more than a few brides seem to inject themselves into the planning (and it's planning that goes far beyond a guest list -- planning that says, "I want to go to Vegas" or some other OOT city that will cost the attendants quite a bit of money).

If a bride wants to host a thank-you luncheon for her attendants, that's fine. However, any event that requires a guest to bring a gift to the host is off-putting. People can do whatever they want -- it's not illegal to host your own party and expect gifts, but that won't change the fact that it's presumptuous.

Ask your mother

If wedding planning is ruining friendships, you're doing it wrong.

Monger I feel for you.. I know you're probably just a bride who wants the full experience of being a bride with a shower.. I hope someone comes through and you get your shower. I know it's probably not about gifts for you .. Just about getting everyone together to celebrate.

If you want to get together with your bridal party and female relatives, why not invite them to brunch instead?

FWIW, I didn't have a bridal shower till after the wedding, when the mom of my bestie (who didn't even make it to the wedding, cause she was in Nepal, so how her mom heard I hadn't had a shower is beyond me....) threw me one. So sweet of her! No bach, either, so I just invited some friends to a comedy club once I was back.