Hosting my own Bridal Shower

^That sounds more like a laid back bachelorette party

Honestly, if no one has offered to host and you don't have much of a registry, this would be the perfect situation to not have a shower.

If someone does decide to throw me one, do I make a separate registry for the shower?

No just use the same one. If you don't really have any gifts on the registry, maybe something like a recipe shower (where everyone brings family recipes) or a bridal brunch/lunch (a simple but nice sit down meal without gifts or traditional shower activities) would be more your style.

I would have to say no, you should never plan your own shower. Not just bridal but also baby shower as well. Hopefully someone else can step in if your MOH is MIA

Then you don't have a shower.

You don't plan your own.

OK so let me get this cleared up... just curious:

The MOH is only required to buy a dress and show up... but the OP can't host get own shower? So who is supposed to host it then, since the MOH and bridal party have no duties other than to buy a dress and show up?

Can someone clarify that for me?

@Tiffany I was also under the impression the MOH helped plan, host bachelorette parties, and be there for support

What does a woman do when she doesn't have any female family members? Or any family members?

My MOH is dying to start planning already, haha.. but I'm just wondering why it's so offensive to throw your own if that's the situation you're in. If no one offers to host one for you, but you really want that experience you just don't get to have it? That's BS in my book.

@Emily it IS normal tradition from what I've always been told. But a lot if people here stand by the "bridal party had no duties or responsibility to you other than buying a dress and showing up". I think that's false. All my experience with weddings jokes true to those being the responsibilities of being in a bridal party.

Yeah after hearing so many people say the bridal party just has to buy the dress and show up, I feel awful for expecting them to help out with wedding stuff if they aren't busy or have prior engagements

Tiffany, brides are not entitled to showers. It's really awesome when someone offers to throw one for you, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.

It's offensive because it's an event that people are expected to bring gifts to. So you're basically asking for gifts.

@Tiffany its the bridal parties choice to throw those events, no one has to do anything. But like Matt said it's kind of like throwing your own birthday party since you're meant to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. Bridal showers, Bachelorette parties, none of those events HAVE to happen. Is it nice when they do? of course but they aren't a necessity. That is why people stick with "they have to buy a dress and show up" because that is all the HAVE to do.

@Emily hang in there girl, you still have time. You never know what could happen between now and October but I'm glad we could help you figure it all out.

Emily - here's something else you'll learn (as I have): no one will be as excited about your wedding as you will. Something to keep in mind when you try to talk about wedding stuff to your friends and you start to hear crickets. lol

But its Ok if someone else tells people to buy you guys?

I also see nothing wrong with hosting your own birthday party.

I mean I've never done that, but some people just aren't fortunate enough to have people in their lives that will plan parties for them. It doesn't mean their family or friends do by care, but not everyone is a planner. And not everyone knows "proper etiquette" because what may seem proper to someone might seem out of place to someone else.

If someone wants to host their own shower than they should. I don't think they shouldn't be entitled to it just because someone else isn't doing it in their honor.

*just playing devils advocate for those that don't have a voice. I'm sure there are plenty of lurkers who don't post because they feel their opinion will be shot down or made fun of.. so I'm lending my voice. For instance, I'm sure OP feels some way for everyone jumping on her.

@Tiffany traditionally the MOH/BMs do host the shower, but its not a requirement that you do. When I see these post I wonder what kind of friends this person has, and what kind of friend this person is. I hosted a shower last year for a friend, and I wasn't even in the wedding. She's just a sweet, nice, person who is always giving to others so I thought she needed a chance to celebrated locally. I honestly spent less than $300 on the whole affair, including my gift. This is something it wouldn't be a bad idea to bring up before you choose BM, and to consider when choosing them. Yeah they can be your closest friends/sister/FSILs but they should actually WANT to be apart of this day. So many people ask but aren't really expecting an answer. You should ask individually so there is no pressure to say yes. I've never been a BM but I'd make a great one in this regard bc I love hosting & planning events. I don't get ppl who just want to stand there and smile but then again they probably didn't want to be a BM. I don't think not wanting to be a BM, saying no, or not hosting a shower makes you less of a friend, but I personally would pick at least some of my friends/family/future family who are into these types of things to be in my wedding.

@GymRat believe it or not, my MOH was more excited than I was. I do not actually want a wedding at all, my FH does. My MOH wanted to pick and plan everything but we have different ideas and I said no to all her ideas (which I think is what happened with her). FH doesnt want to help, so Ive gotten my photographer to help me a lot because we like basically all the same things. Ive definitely learned wedding planning can make or break a friendship

I host my own birthday party every other year. But I as an adult I don't expect gifts, and rarely receive birthday gifts other than from FH and my parents. That's different from a shower bc the purpose of the shower is to shower the honoree with gifts.

It can seem that way at first Emily but just keep that in the back of your head. Usually it starts off that way, then it fizzles which is EXACTLY what has happened in your case. So I stand by what I said.

As far as you're concerned Tiffany......

This post was going REALLY REALLY well. No one "jumped" on her so you need to relax. She didn't know, took the advice rather well and is engaging in pleasant dialogue. Stop stirring the damn pot and creating drama when it isn't there.

Damn!

Tiffany,I just read this whole thread and at no point did anyone jump on OP.

And OP, you took the constructive criticism very graciously. Stick around because I'm sure we will be very happy to have you as part of our community and we look forward to helping you plan.

Also, it sounds like you are kind of like me. My MOH lives in a different state so she cant host anything for me very easily and I've lived on my own for years so my registry is very small. Instead of hosting a shower, where they shower you with gifts, you could host a brunch or luncheon for the most important women of your wedding to come mingle and get to know one another. You could even incorporate a fun little icebreaker type game just for kicks.