Honeymoon or a Friend's Wedding

How much of your plans did your friend know prior to planning her wedding?

If you guys didn't share plans, then I'm thinking maybe you're not *that* close.

I'd skip her wedding and send a gift to be delivered that day for her. (I've done that before).

I missed one of my best friends weddings several years ago - she's going to be a bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding - because i lived out of country and couldn't get home. she was in everyway understanding, but i was sad i missed it and seeing all our friends. several years later and i wouldn't say i regret it, but i do still wish i had been able to attend.

is your honeymoon date at all flexible or is she going to be completely understanding if you can't be there?

If you are able to, why not move your honeymoon back one week? If you aren't able to, if she is your friend, she will understand. You waited as long as you could to accommodation her.

Meh. depends.

I do enjoy weddings and you can take a honeymoon anytime.

that said if it's already planned. I'd go on your honeymoon. Unless it's your best friend or your in bp

I would go to the wedding if the honeymoon dates aren't set in stone, then go ahead and be flexible.

If the honeymoon can't be moved or the deal for where you want to go is only good for that time, send her a gift to be delivered to let her know you were thinking of her and call her around the day of the wedding to give your well wishes and you should be fine.

Our wedding is in August and there happens to be other weddings and reunions all around that time for us too. So we might only go away for a few days to somewhere on the Great Lakes and then go somewhere else where it is nice and warm later in the fall or even in the winter and go all out for the vacation in like December and go out of the country somewhere for a longer amount of time. We live in MI so it gets pretty awful in the winter and even the fall is super cold sometimes so vacations to somewhere warm and sunny sound amazing that time of year for us.

I'm sort of with Paris on this one. Is there any chance she knew, or could have known, when you would be away? If yes, don't go---she won't be expecting you.

If not, it really depends on how close you are. I have skipped friends' weddings b/c of distance/travel and cost required, and though it would have been nice to be there, it didn't ruin our friendship and I don't feel like I regret not going.

What does your fh think?

if your honeymoon can be easily changed then do that if you want. if not then send a gift.

Think about all of it at once and go from there.

Is she a very important friend of yours? If so do you want missing it to cause a possible falling out between you two.

Did she already know your plans? If yes then that's unfair for you, if you let her know in advance, so at least talk to her about it

Can you reschedule the bookings? If so and you really want to be there and she really wants you to be there then just reschedule it to avoid any issues.

If you can't reschedule it then there's your answer. Just talk to her and let her know the situation. Definitely talk to FH and let him know, i'm sure he will be more than understanding.

If your honeymoon is at all flexible I would postpone to attend her nuptials. I am dealing with a similar issue I have decided to postpone my honeymoon until the day after her wedding and fly out of dallas instead of seattle it actually worked out better

If this is your "best friend forever" I would consider changing your honeymoon especially if you will be in her wedding. If she is just a friend, I would keep with your honeymoon plans and send her a gift. Tell her you two can do something special before her day and before you head out. And maybe you can attend her bridal shower and bachelorette party should she have them.

I like the idea of sending an additional gift the day of or before the wedding. She did know of our honeymoon plans prior to selecting her date. She told me the 4 possible dates she was looking and ended up choosing the 1 that didn't work for us. I told her which dates I could or could not make.

I don't think it'll cause a falling out by not going her her wedding, if anything it'll save her a couple bucks, by having 2 less people show up. (We all know how expensive these weddings are.)

My MIL booked some of the hotel rooms without my knowledge on the proposed dates, and they have non-refundable deposits. That's the problem, otherwise I would have moved the hm by a week no problem. Oh the joys of weddings.

What does you FH think about this situation? It's going to affect him too. IMO, it depends on how close you really are with this friend. Did she know about your plans before making hers? Which will you regret more/feel more guilty about - not going to her wedding, or postponing your HM a little longer?

Well, if she knew the dates that did not work for you but she chose them anyway, I would go on the honeymoon. She'll understand.

Sounds like you both were very upfront with each other about dates and your availability. That being said, she knew she picked a date on which you could not attend. I can't imagine she would expect you to lose deposits. I love the idea of sending a special gift, but what about going one step further and offering to host a shower or another party in her honor. Just because you can't make the actual wedding doesn't mean you can't be a major help to her along the way.

I'd go on the honeymoon. If she didn't consult you about the dates there's nothing to feel guilty about.

I am not going to suggest one way or the other, but I just wanted to say that I missed my MOH's wedding & I still regret it to this day. We were just out of high school, those two have recently divorced, but I still regret not going. I think I remember having car troubles that day, very small mind you, but I had no intentions of going, so definitely had no excuse at all. Back then I guess I didn't realize "how important" of a decision a wedding was. I think we were 18 or 19 at the time.