Help! Uninvited guests at destination wedding

Very, very rude on her part. I would have you and your FH talk to her together and tell her they cannot attend.

I truly see where everybody is coming from. However I feel for the people who are going to be hurt by the rudeness of the MIL.

I come from a family where the advice would be to let it slide but I agree with the PPs who say the set the boundaries now and stand your ground. Friends of parents was not a circle invited, it's not about how many guests she invited now if this slides just wait to see how that number spikes up!

And for people sympathizing with the couple, I don't feel so soft for them. Yes they were invited by FMIL and kinda victims too, but who books a trip for a wedding they never received invitations for??? I'd never do that, and if this couple happened to be on WW venting about this I'm sure we'd be asking them why they booked a trip for a wedding they never received an invitation for. Besides, they can still enjoy the trip.

What about the bride's parents feelings in all this? As the people paying, I'm sure this would be upsetting for them as well since they didn't invite any of their friends. What about their feelings? What does the bride win? Boundaries. Hard fast set boundaries. We've seen many couples post on here struggling with boundaries, those are crucial.

I agree to stand your ground OP, you and your FS must show a united front.

This is a tough one. I see both sides but I think I am on Team Boundaries. They can go on vacation but cannot come to the wedding. If they know that and still want to go, let them. And I would be having a sit down with FMIL and have her make the phone call right then and there to let them know that.

Rachel explained my thoughts so well. There is no doubt that FMIL was 100% wrong, but I feel bad for the couple.

SwissMs trust me, on the scale of things that could possibly go wrong, having your in-laws invite a couple of extra people to the wedding doesn't even register as a contender for "worst nightmare." Lots of sad stories out there of actual nightmares

@Elizabeth. My entire family is dead. Planning a wedding with no family is really stressful emotionally. So yes, actually, having my (very small) wedding unexpectedly being swamped by dozens of strangers because the in-laws have ignored my wishes IS my worst wedding nightmare.

Worst nightmares IRL? Sure, there are lots of things that are worse than that (see above comment re: my entire family is dead). But this is a wedding forum.

Nope, put your foot down. They aren't invited, MIL isn't paying, they can take a nice vacay but they aren't invited to your wedding.

The nerve of some people...

I mean, you can't tell them not to fly to wherever you are getting married and tell them they can't stay there, assuming it's a public resort?

It's rude of them and your FMIL sounds a bit off but I really think your FH should sit her down and explain that they were not invited and you did not budget for them.

If there is room wherever your ceremony/ reception is, would your FMIL cover the costs to feed them / entertain them? That might be a compromise that you could make- she gets her guests, but has to pay. Consider it a favor to her, but make it clear to your FH that he needs to put his foot down with her going forward.

Too bad. No invite means they are not invited to the wedding. They can enjoy their trip but no ceremony or reception.

You can't stop them from vacationing but you don't have to have them at your wedding. Your FMIL needs to call them and tell them she'll hang out with them but they aren't invited to the wedding.