Help! Uninvited guests at destination wedding

That is so annoying! But I think it would be mean to tell them they can't come, especially since they booked everything. But how terribly rude of them to do so without an invitation!

Hold your ground. Tell your FH this is his problem, but he needs to call these people and tell them himself, if the mother isn't willing to.

What kind of conversation has your FH had with his mother regarding her behavior?

They can come on vacation, but you don't have room for them at the reception. They didn't receive invitations and shouldn't be surprised.

FH needs to put his foot down and explain to FMIL that you are having an intimate wedding with only your closest friends and family. It would send the wrong message to invite total strangers.

Another option...if you have room at the venue, you could consider adding them as guests and just letting it go. ETA: Your parents are paying? In that case, it's their party, they are the hosts, and they can invite whomever they like ETA: argh. Reading is hard. Your parents are paying, his are inviting the extras. So yeah, what I said the first time. Have FH put his foot down and tell his mother to stop being so rude to you and your family.

Maybe allow them to come to the reception after dinner? It blows my mind for someone to book everything for a wedding they haven't even received an invite to!

Tell her you hope they enjoy their vacation, and she's welcome to go hang out with them before and after the wedding, but come wedding time, they should have alternate plans.

My mom invited her friends out to see her while we were at our destination. They knew they were not invited to the wedding and were okay with hanging out elsewhere until it was over. They were welcome at the meet ups before and after, but the wedding itself was a private event.

I am a Petty Betty but, I would honestly tell mom too bad that they cannot attend. Let her sweat it out then acquiesce and extend the invitation to them. That is if you really would be ok with them attending.

That's the oddest thing on their behalf why would anyone book a trip for a wedding they didn't receive a formal invite to????? Are sure MIL isn't bluffing and telling you they already made travel arrangements just to guilt you into sending the invitation?

My fiancé has had a a few convos with his mother about it. She's saying she didn't know they were going to book it and now it's too late.

They'll just be out of luck. People need to follow rules.

You need to present a united front and tell her that this can't happen.

This is awful. Where do people get off inviting others to other people's wedding.

Ridiculous

Ugh. I'm sorry. That sucks.

I would not bend over backwards for these people. They didn't receive an invitation so the must KNOW that they're not invited. So essentially, they're trying to crash the party. I would not feel sorry for them or try to accommodate them.

The MIL invited them. If there are additional expenses let her know she will need to cover them.

Kristin but as far as I understand, she did not give them a physical invitation. It was a verbal invitation, in my opinion, that does not count. Personally, I would not book a flight to a DW based off of a verbal invite.

I agree, @MMB. This is pure tackiness on the part of the MIL and her friends.

I don't have anything exciting to add except that I am so excited to finally have a date twin.

Hold your ground. I call bullshit on the "she didn't know they were going to book it." You told her she couldn't invite them and she obviously did. No one assumes they are invited to a wedding and books a flight when their friend simply mentions it. She would've had to give them the date, time, and location. I'm guessing they would have been confused when they didn't receive an invitation, and she would've had to assure them that they were invited and the invitation got lost or something. There is just no logical way that she casually discussed her child's upcoming wedding and somehow released enough info for them to actually go out and book a flight.

Here's the thing. What's done is done, right? That's what she believes you will say. She knew that her friends would book a flight and put you into an awkward situation that would result in you feeling guilty and just letting her friends come. You don't need to feel guilty at all because you didn't make this mess. Your FS needs to tell their mother that they are absolutely not invited. She made the mess, she needs to clean it up.

Hold your ground. They can go on vacation to the same resort as your DW. That does not mean you have to or should feel the need to invite them to the wedding. You FMIL will need to explain to her friends that they will need to find something else to do the day of your wedding.

My sister tried to invite her friend to our DW in Mexico. My exact response to her was "I do not control who enters Mexico or the resort. If they happen to be on vacation at the same time and in the same place we are, I can't do anything about it. But, we will not be able to accommodate them for the wedding, reception or any other wedding related events."

Hold your ground!! There is plenty to do where you are getting married in sure. Your FMIL can see them in the other days. Not your wedding.