Help!!! *serious answers only please*

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So where exactly do the bisexual people change?

And if this friend identifies as male, he is likely to be changing wherever males change anyway. It's no different than any other bridesman.

View Quoted Comment That was their wedding not mine. My brother-in-law knew what his friends were likely and had them in his wedding anyways because they are his friends. The only reason my husband didn't link arms with the guy he was paired with was because he was told by his brother and his brother's wife not to. He linked arms with the guy during rehearsal. Personally, I would have told them to link arms or they can be a guest, but again not my wedding.

View Quoted Comment All I am saying is that as a female I wouldn't want to get dressed in front of a male and her friend identies as a male so I wouldn't want to change him front of him.

View Quoted Comment Bridesman..... ok that's actually a great idea!!!! Thank u sooooo much.... didnt know that was a such thing... this really really helped!!! You're awesome

View Quoted Comment Yea that's what I was thinking.. someone suggested a "bridesman" that's a good idea

View Quoted Comment I love this idea!!! It totally works!!! Thanks❤

View Quoted Comment Yea someone suggested a bridesman.... I'm going to talk to my friends and see if this is a good fit for him.. but of course I want him to play whatever roles is comfortable and fitting

View Quoted Comment AGREED!!! This is so true!!! THANK YOU!!!!

I have a man of honor and he is standing on my side. I think it would be perfect to have your friend on your side in a suit or whatever they are comfortable wearing.

Have him be on your side still! One of FH best friends came out as trans this year and she will be on his side wearing whatever she feels comfortable in, suit or dress.

The world may never know....

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You're making a lot of assumptions here... You don't even know who he's attracted to. If he is attracted to men, would you not have a problem? Maybe he's transitioned, maybe he hasn't. You're jumping the gun here -- luckily you don't need to worry about this since you're not in the wedding.

If you want him in the wedding, talk to him about it. Ask him what he would be comfortable doing. I like the idea of him wearing a suit that matches the other bridesmaids. I think there was a pic posted that looked amazing
Btw, everyone else is right. You need to use male pronouns. I work in a mental hospital and it's really important to the adolescents and the adults to be called by the correct pronoun. The reason my job stresses it so much is bc there was a patient who was transgender and no one took them seriously. Well after they left the hospital, they ended up killing themselves, the parents sued, and won. It may not be a big deal to everyone but it means a lot to them
Not criticizing, just trying to explain and apparently rambling lol

Just have him be on your side if that’s what you want. Ask them what they want to wear. Dress or suit? Whichever they’re most comfortable in. Then go from there and be done. If it’s a suit have the suit match the men’s suits and girls tie or even Same color suit as bridesmaids if possible.


We have a girl standing as a groomswoman on my fiancé’s side. She’s born as a woman so it’s not the exact situation you’re trying to figure out but they have been best friends for years. I bet your friend will be honored that you asked him. If they are comfortable they will probably have no problem standing up with you on your special day.

I hope this helps! 😊

View Quoted Comment Just because he identifies as male doesn't mean is attracted to females. And even if he were, he's certainly not going to watch you change. Being Trans doesn't equate to sexual deviance. That would be creepy from anyone of any identifying gender or sexuality.

Make him your bridesman. Have him wear what he wants. As long as nobody but the bride wears a white dress, everything should be great.

So there’s a lot of comments about the proper etiquette of how you should refer to your friend and how you should line him up in the wedding. Honestly I know nothing more than this; This person, heck they could be a unicorn for all I care, but this person is your friend. You’ve said you want them in your wedding. So ask him. Let him decide what to wear. This really isn’t a problem at all until you ask other people what to do with your wedding. I find with stuff like this, if you don’t make it a thing, it has a much less chance of becoming a big deal. Don’t let opinions or complaints of others be an option. Just ask your friend to stand by your side as you get married.

Just have him stand on your side in his preferred type of clothing. He is your friend so he should stand on your side. ☺️ hope that helps!

I had a bridesman, DH had 2 groomswomen.

For my side of the party, my bridesman and my dad changed in the venue bathrooms. For DH, they got ready in his parents' place, so they had separate rooms.

For those who are "uncomfortable changing around someone who is attracted to my gender" - two of my bridesmaids are married... to each other. At no point did I think they would be so immature as to be inappropriate to me while I got changed on my wedding day! Grown adults are fully capable of controlling their behavior.

To the OP: thank you for changing the pronouns you use. If your friend trusts you enough to be out to you, then you need to live up to that trust. There are a great many ways to learn about trans* issues, DM those of us who mentioned pronouns if you'd like to learn. Many of my friends are trans* and I have resources from them to share.

First thing - if he identifies as male, I'm assuming he uses he/him/his pronouns, and it's very disrespectful not to use the pronouns he prefers. Honestly, if you refer to him as "her," he may not even want to be in the wedding.

Secondly, trans people are typically very appreciative when people just ask, at least in my experiences. Asking what he wants and what he is comfortable with shows that you value him, respect his identity, and truly want him in your wedding. I'm sure he'd be touched to know you want him in the wedding, and then he'd be willing to talk with you about attire, which side he's on, who he gets ready with, etc.

I came here to defend the correct pronoun use of the trans friend, but was beaten to it by many other users which I honestly did not expect. It makes me so happy to see the support and level of acceptance from people using this app. 💜