Help please!!!! 42 year old couple planning Justice of Peace wedding and unsure of ettiquette

The beauty of things is that you don't have to worry so much about etiquette nowadays. YES, you can do invitations. NO, they don't have to be so formal.

Since you are keeping it small, how about just having a small get together are a favorite restaurant. You can talk to them about having a set budget and perhaps having specific meal selections prepared as a buffet for your party.

As for the other people that want to celebrate, tell them that you guys will have a casual housewarming later on this fall to celebrate with all of your friends, once everything is settled in.

Yes, you CAN register. Don't stress so much and enjoy marrying your love

It would be polite for you to have some type of celebration for the ones that do attend your wedding, even if it's just a few people. Whether it's dinner at a restaraunt or cake and punch at a hall, park or someone's backyard.

As for the ones you can't invite, you can send out marriage announcements after you are married but I wouldn't include any type of gift registry on there. If they want to send you something they will

Congratulations!!

Agreed. Send out invites only to those invited. Then, you send out announcements that day or soon after to let everyone else know you had a quiet ceremony. This is totally within etiquette.

An I like the dinner at a restaurant idea. Small, casual, and a great way of saying thanks to those who come.

I'm totally with Kat.

And regarding notifying others, I would send a marriage announcement after the wedding.

Congratulation!

I think it is safe to say that the new rules are there aren't any hard and fast rules. It's your day and you do what you want. If you want to send invites send them. If you want to send evites do that. You can always create a wedding website and use that for you're invites, rsvp's, and registry info. If you want to take everyone to dinner take them. It's all up to the two of you. Happy planning

You can invite your immediate family and then send out a wedding announcement after you got married to the people you care about but couldn't attend due to room size.

Maybe you can hold a reception afterwards and invite all of your friends and families to that instead.

Obviously you do care about etiquette, since you asked, which I think is great. The idea that "you don't have to worry so much about etiquette nowadays" literally gives me chills.

Go ahead and announce your engagement to friends and family. When people inquire about when the wedding is, tell them you've opted to do a small ceremony at the courthouse.

Yes, after the ceremony, it would be nice as His Mrs suggests to either take people out to eat or do cake and punch...most restaurants will probably be happy to work with you and create a menu.

As for all weddings, you could design a wedding website and put the link on the invites...the website could include a tab for registry info.

You could do a larger gathering later for friends that were not invited to the small ceremony...I don't think you would typically expect gifts from that, but some might bring gifts or ask where you are registered.

Congrats and good luck!

Thank you so much for the help from everyone. I am open for all advice. Yes, I do care about the ettiquette as I would never want to hurt any of our friends or family. Since both my fiance and I are military related, we have friends from all over the U.S., and I think a gathering after the wedding is great. Im not sure if some of those friends from around the country can make the trip, but I do like the idea of having a gathering later. Also, I think we would take everyone to dinner after the ceremony. I have researched and the JOP here does a ceremony in a pretty location so its not just a boring courthouse. I love the idea of sending an announcement after the wedding. I think that is an awesome idea of how to notify others without it being an invitation. Forgive me for my ignorance, but how do I get started on designing a wedding website?

Thank you for everyones help. I am appreciative of any advice I am given

You can design one for free on wedding wire!

Design your announcements in advance, and mail them right after the ceremony (it will make a cute photo opp too)

You can go to www.evite.com and design an announcment to email a "just to let you know, dear family and friends, that we will be getting married this june." You can also order wedding invites to those you know will attend at least one month ahead of time from vistaprint.com/25 or go to retailmenot.com and see if you could get a discount from vistaprint and look at the prompts for wedding invitations. it guides you how to make it from their own designs and templates, and then you will get them sent to you. Do that soon as it could take a couple of weeks to get your items. Good luck - and yes, do a brunch after your ceremony at a local restaurant and have a champagne toast. You could also see if you could arrange a pre fixe menu and see if you could bring your own cake. Good luck and 42 is perfect to get married. Me and my beau are 45!!