Help! Bridesmaid dress issue

I would try to find another dress in a similar style, hopefully they have one that is either the same color or very close to the same color.

i would have a hard time not voicing that i was disappointed that she didn't order the dress on time, but i wouldn't kick her out of the wedding party. you should think about why you asked her in the first place and determine where you stand.

It's said time and time again here - getting the dress and standing is all they have to do.

Frankly, if all the other girls have ordered the correct dress, she's made the decision for you to come as a guest.

I would probably agree to just have her come as a guest. However if you really wanted her to still be a BM you might get lucky and be able to find that dress on tradesy in her size?

Yeah...if she's waited this long and can't get the dress PLUS lied about it, sounds like she'll just be a guest, and maybe that's for the bestZ

She had her chance and there was no reason to lie, I'd have her come as a guest.

I would tell her that you want all the bm to have the same dress, so unfortunately if she is unable to get the dress she can't be a bridesmaid. Tell her she can still get ready with you and stuff, but she won't be able to stand. You can also tell her if she is able to find the dress you would still like to have her. She might be able to find the dress used on eBay, or a wedding resale website.

I'm ocd as hell when it comes to symmetry, if all my girls wore one dress except for one (unless done purposefully for the moh) I would never be able to look at my photos without cringing (I'm not even joking, I rewrite lists if I forget to indent). I would tell her that you can't have her not match the other girls. If she can find it used or work something out to wear the exact dress she was supposed to order, than let her be a bm. If she can't figure it out herself she needs to step down. Is your moh already in a different dress, because if not and if they are similar sizes than have slacker bm buy a different dress for moh and set her apart (just make sure best man matches and also stands apart). If that won't work tell her you can't be stressed about this with everything else and she either needs to figure it out or attend as a guest.

This is so terrible! Can't believe she would cause that stress for you. I would make her call around to different David's. Maybe one of them has it in a sample? You never know! If not, she would be asked to step down. In my opinion, you could not have one in a different dress with 6 in the other.

I would be so hurt if my BM did that! Tell her to put out an ISO request to all of the sites possible for that style and color. Google the crap out of that style and color. If she can't find one, oh well she's a guest now. Make her do the work, though. You don't need that stress.

I agree with what everyone has already said. Getting the dress was the only thing she was required to do, and she didn't do it. If she can't find one on ebay or tradesy, or one of the sites like that, then she'll have to be a guest. And if that happens, don't let her make you feel bad about it because this is 100% her fault, 0% yours.

I'm so upset for you right now, I can't believe she did that. I would tell her how hurt you were and give her the opportunity to find the dress on a trade site or somewhere, if she can't then she's a guest. It was her choice to lie, she put herself in this situation.

So frustrating! BUT if you still want her to be in the wedding and feel like doing the work for her (since she clearly wont) you can have them look up if a DB store has the dress she needs in her size or a size bigger to get altered. IF they have it at any other store in the US, they can ship it to her. I did this for one of the sample sale dresses bc I loved it so much!

I would agree with everyone else, all she had to do was order the dress, and if money was an issue she shouldve come to you and you couldve figured something out. But to lie about it. forget it. It will look wierd for her to be in something differnt.

i say she volunteered to step down from BM role and became a guest.

How close to her are you? I still feel like asking people to step down from being a BM is a friend ending move even though this is her ONE of TWO responsibilities. I would tell her to look for the DB dress code and color in her size online and see if she can find it.

Guess what!? She's now a guest in my book. No excuse for that and to lie about it.

That is really crappy that she lied. Is it possible she was embarrassed about not having the money? Regardless, she should have said something to you. What style/color/size of dress are you needing? Perhaps it is available secondhand.

I am having the opposite problem with David's. They won't update their tracking system, so they are giving me two of some things. I told them my MOH already picked up her dress and it is getting altered, but they keep calling saying they have it in, and don't place an update in their computer when I tell them we already have it. I finally just went and picked up the one they had to get them to leave me alone, so now we have two maid of honor dresses. I thought at least if it is signed for and taken out of the store, it will show as picked up in the system. Then I can return it later.

My outlook on this would be - Remember why you asked her in the first place to be in the wedding. If the pros of having her in the wedding outweigh the cons, then keep her in. Maybe have your MOH sell her the dress she bought (assuming they are the same size or close) and then accent your MOH with a different dress. HOWEVER, if the cons outweigh the pros, then have her as a guest, and explain to her how you are feeling. I agree with the rest of the girls on this one though about having her as a guest. I had one like that already, and we came to the conclusion that she would be a guest.

If you still want her to be in the bridal party, do as others have suggested and look around for resellers who may have the same dress in the same color. Also look at other designers since so many styles are nearly indistinguishable to see if you can find a match.

If you do feel as though you've drifted and are second guessing having her in the bridal party, that the extra effort for one girl who could not hold up to her one responsibility, cut her loose. If she's in a different dress, even slightly, who are people going to think is your MoH? The one who stands out. I had a similar issue where we asked one of FHs female friends to be a hostess/usher on his side and wear black. One of my bridesmaids (best friends with her) wanted her to wear the bridesmaid dress from her wedding since it was also navy. Nope. She's not standing on my side, she's not a bridesmaid, and she's going to stand out as special therefore the assumption will be she is the MoH. Disrespectful to me and my MoH. Not happening.

I'm SO scared this will happen to me too! What dress was it? Maybe they have another option that is very similar? Or have the other bridesmaids exchange it for one they can all get? David's will exchange dresses! just not return...

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts!! It's giving me more courage to sit down and talk with her knowing where the conversation may lead. The dress was a blue violet, long, one shoulder chiffon. My MoH took the initiative to call David's locations to see if they had any in stock, no luck. My other BM's are a great support system!