HELP! Bridesmaid backed out.

Unless you have someone you really want to have standing up with you, there is no need to "replace" her. If you end up with an uneven number of attendants, you can just have one woman walk with two men. I'm sure she won't object. ;-) Or you could have one man walk alone.

Well, if people know that you've already selected a bridal party, it's going to sound like that regardless. Can you do without a BM? Is there someone else you know that would be happy to step in? You could always tell them that they would have been a bridesmaid originally, but you wanted to have an even party number, or something like that.

Uneven wedding parties are pretty common these days. Unless there is someone that you've become really close with the last few months, it's hard to ask someone to be a replacement bridesmaid without them feeling like a B-lister or that they weren't special enough the first time around.

1) Uneven is totally fine and practically the norm nowadays.

2) You still have some time until your wedding. It's an honor. So I don't think anyone should be offended at this point.

3) Sometimes, you don't know who would even have the time or interest in being a bm until you start going through the motions of planning. I have found that it's usu a friend that you have not known necessarily the longest that is the most enthusiastic and supportive person in helping you plan. You just never know.

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And good for you for not being upset at your friend for backing out. And good for your friend for being upfront and honest about her time and energy levels now instead of realizing it later and not telling you and then perhaps you might be disappointed later.

Its not about uneven numbers, its about whos up there with you. You want someone special, not just someone to fill in an empty stot.

If you do decide there is someone who's really supportive or a very good friend, it's ok to make late party additions. My FH just added a groomsman and we selected our wedding party at the beginning of Sept. His friend wasn't at all offended for the later invite (actually FH only added someone cause he was jealous that I had 3 BM and he had 2 GM).

I'd find out why she backed out- if you can. If she doens't have the time to help you plan the wedding- tell her the onyl thing you want is her standing up with you the day off (and MEAN IT!). If it's financial, maybe you can pay for her dress, or at least help her with the cost.

I wouldn't replace her, unless you have someone else you really wanted to add at the beginning and didn't.

Thanks for all the great input ladies... i do have only 1-2 other ppl in mind that i did want to ask in the begining but we wanted to keep it small. and i have a good gut feeling that these few ppl would be ok with being invited in now.

ugg... we should have just went to niagara falls in sept like we wanted to. eloping still sounds like the best option but i am trying to be strong.. lol..

thanks again girls. good luck with all of your big days.