Head Table

@Erin, I disagree. Head Tables have been around FOREVER and I think everyone should to what is right for their own wedding. Our Head Table consists of Me, FH, three BMs and four GM. Many of which have a SO coming, We seated their SO's with people they know and since they will only be separated for ceremony / dinner, no one cares at all. Head Tables are traditional, not rude. (I am not saying sweetheart tables or whatever are not nice, just not what we chose).

Honest Opinion: Head Tables, to each their own, do what you want, I dont think its rude!

Erin's got it right.

Also, the head table's (minus the SOs) status as a tradition doesn't exempt it from being rude.

I don't think they are rude. Our bridal party wants to do one because they want to have that special place and we want to have the people that we have invited to stand up with us to be honored for all the hard work they have put in. We are having SO's sit with people they know. Eg. my brother is a GM and we will sit his FW at the table with my parents.

I've been the SO several times when FH was a groomsmen and never have we sat together. Usually there is a table of all the SO's sitting together nearby the head table. There is no reason we couldn't go an hour without eating together. It was no big deal and it was nice to get to know the other SO's a bit better.

We considered including SO's at our head table, but one of the groomsmen has 3 kids...so am I supposed to have him, his wife and their 3 kids at our head table? no thanks.

It's just don't think it's rude. Everyone in my bridal party are married to each other except for 2. Their SO will be sitting with the rest of the guests (who they already know). They have no problem with it. And Chelsea, you're right. They'll only be separated for the ceremony & dinner. Once all the formalities are done, they'll be together. I think they can handle that.

I've been to weddings where there was a sweetheart table and the bridal party was very upset that they had to sit with the "regular" guests.

One of my bridesmaids was from out of town. How on earth would it have not been rude to make her boyfriend sit with a bunch of strangers and to make her sit at a table where she would only know the bride?

And would it be rude to have SO sitting by themselves during the ceremony & not having them standing by their SO? (insert sarcasm)

Obviously it's not rude that the SO is separated during the ceremony. The person in the wedding party wouldn't have agreed to standing up if he didn't want to be apart from his SO.

Madeline, I will say that is a bit of a different situation. I went to a wedding with an EX BF that was a GM. It was his friends from HS and I was sat at a table with the rest of the friends, of whom I knew no one. I found it really fun actually because I got to hear stories about him growing up and the embarrassing stuff that he wouldn't have otherwise told me. Now I am an outgoing person and I can talk to any group of people whether I know them or not.

So I guess it really depends on the situation. Ruth, I would just ask your BP what they would prefer.

I felt that I wanted my guests to enjoy themselves as much as possible. True that it's OUR wedding but we're throwing the party and asking these people to be our guests. If they had to sit apart from their S/O it wouldn't be as enjoyable so I sat their S/Os at our head table with the BP. I also sat my very good friend from FL at our head table even though he wasn't part of the BP. He only knew 2 other people there and they were part of the BP. While I know he's very easy going and would not have minded sitting with strangers, I also know that he appreciated sitting with people he knew. Like you said...it's "only dinner" so why not let them sit together?

If they're that upset about having to sit by themselves, maybe they're insecure with their relationships.

I've been to weddings where i had to sit away from my SO & didn't bother me at all. People need to understand that if their SO is in a wedding, chances are you won't be sitting together at the reception.

I agree with Chelsea. I've never been to a wedding where the SO were at the head table. But it seems I disagree with Erin a lot, so I'm sure we're just from different regions and cultures.

If the SO doesn't know anyone else at the wedding though, I might consider just putting them at the head table, but assuming your best friends are in your BP, it's likely that they'd know lots of other friends coming to the wedding.

@ Karen: No one in my bridal party has a problem with the head table arrangement. Neither do their SO who will be sitting at other tables.

I have been to wedding where there was a sweetheart table & the bridal party were very insulted that they weren't included at a head table.

I guess it all depends on where everyone is from.

To each their own I guess.

To each their own but personally, I don't like head tables. I am not insecure in my relationship and I am a very outgoing person/totally fine in social situations but I'd prefer to be at a table with my FH.

I'm a bridesmaid next weekend and head table vs sweetheart table hasn't been brought up but if its a traditional head table where FH and I do not sit with each other, I wouldn't complain to the bride about it but I wouldn't love it.

I've been to too many weddings as a groomsmen's SO and had to sit with people I don't know to do that at my wedding. Therefore, the SO of people in our bridal party will be at our head table.

Our party is sitting with us and SO are sitting at their own table. BUT all SO have a plus one

FH and I were literally debating this last night.

My opinion: SOs should be part of the table if we don't do a sweetheart table.

His opinion It is normal (its all he's ever seen at weddings he's been to) for ONLY the bridal party to sit with the Bride and Groom, and that sweetheart tables look weird.

In the end I told him this is one of those things that I'm putting an absolute "no way" to (he has many, this is my first), its either all or nothing.

And because we have 6 on each side, a FG and RB and about 5 extra SOs, its looking like a sweetheart table it is. I also argued that this will give us some quiet time to ourselves for a tiny bit. He now agrees with me

FH want's to do a head table and I want a sweetheart table. We will most likely do the head table I will consider putting all of the SO at the table as well but if it does not work out I will either sit them with people they know or have a table close to the head table for them.

Here's my thing about etiquette. It comes down to being respectful. There are certainly situations where a bridesmaid may know no one other than the bride and the bridesmaid's significant other may not know anyone other than her. It would probably be rude to separate them. But at a lot of weddings, most people know most of everyone else. My rule is this: Would you be offended or find it rude if they did the same thing to you? If not, I'd say you're good.