Head Table

A head table is only rude when you separate a bridal party member from their SO/date. Would you want to be separated from your husband/fiance/boyfriend for the entire day?

It's rude to separate a social unit like that. It's not "What's right for your wedding," it's very basic manners.

Erin is right. Also, they aren't just separated for "an hour." There's getting ready, hair, makeup, pictures, the ceremony, etc. My bridal party was apart from their SOs for about 5-6 hours with getting ready. It would have been really shitty to make them sit apart another hour or so for dinner. They're a couple, of course they want to sit together. Do you want to go sit with your friends while your husband sits with some strangers at your wedding?

Dinner is only about an hour though (because if you can't handle being without your SO while getting ready, how do you go to work everyday??). The debate here is around the social circumstance of separating SOs during the dinner hour. It's one social hour where you're putting food in your mouth. After that, people will be up and moving around and I've never see people return to sit at the head table after dinner, ever.

I've sat at a few head tables myself and didn't think anything of it. I was also separated from my date. I didn't care. Damn, I was just happy I could have a date!

I've been to weddings where FH was a GM and have sat at the head table with him or at a table (with out a seating chart! ) where I didn't know anyone. I much preferred to sit with him. We are doing a head table + SOs. I'm not sure how the seating arrangements will work out though since 2 of the bridesmaids are going to be married/engaged to 2 of the groomsmen. Sweetheart tables aren't common in our area either.

I can be apart from my husband for work easily. We're apart 13 hours when I go to the office. But when you go to attend an event, do you then want to go sit with some strangers by yourself? Going to work and attending a social event are entirely different things. It is not acceptable to separate a couple like that.

If you don't want to treat guests well, don't invite any.

I have the bridal party and their SOs all sitting at the head table with us so they will not feel out of place. I think at more formal weddings this is frowned upon.

I have never been to a wedding that didn't separate the bridal party. One GM and one BM are married but not to each other. We placed one SO with our group of friends and one with FH's immediate family at table #1. I think they will be just fine and would not consider it rude.

I hate the way head tables look! Just seems dated to me! However, I am getting the best of both worlds. My venue has elevated booths...5 of them, so we can sit at a sweetheart table...and our bridal party can still be close. Since only 4 are bringing guests, they will all fit with them!

It will look like this:

Thinking you can do a sweetheart table and have a table on each side of the sweetheart table for the BP and SO.

I have been to numerous weddings were FH was a GM. All but one has had a head table, the one had the bridal party and SO (only 2 of us, the others were single) sit at a table together. Yes, I liked being able to sit with FH but I was not upset at the ones I was not able to. One of them FH and I were separated the entire time because dinner took like 3.5 hours and the couple was refusing to do dances, tosses, cutting, etc.

I haven't seen a head table in years. Almost all of my couples do a sweetheart with rounds for the BP and their SO's.

I agree with Celia. Head tables are a bit dated IMO. We will have a sweetheart table and sit bridal party nearby with their SO. I personally don't see anything wrong with seating them at a nearby table if you are doing a head table also. Couples wont die from sitting apart, hell some of them will prefer it. I have been to several weddings and I have NEVER seen SO sitting with the BP. NEVER. All of a sudden it's rude? To each his own. Ask your BP what they prefer and go with it.

Head tables look like the Last Supper to me. I have always said that the B&G monopolize the WP for most of the entire day up until the wedding with getting ready, pictures, wedding, etc. It isn't just for dinner, it is for hours that you monopolize the WP. I am no fan of head tables (and unfortunately I had them at my weddings in 1980 and 1996 - because "that is how it is done". I regret that).

I would like someone who is pro-head table to answer this: Your WP is your nearest and dearest. Being in a WP in a way to honor these people, right? Then how come they are the ONLY ones in the entire room who aren't seated with their SO/spouse/FI during dinner? That isn't much of a way to honor them.

I have spoken to everyone in my bridal and they all said they would be very insulted if they weren't included in a head table. They feel (so do I) that the head table is a way to acknowledge the bridal party after the ceremony. One of my girls actually told me she thinks the sweetheart table is just a way for the bride to have more attention drawn onto her.

So I guess it all depends on how comfortable your bridal party would be in this type of situation.

So yes, I will be having a head table.

I've actually never heard of the Bridal Party sitting with their SO. However I do agree you should do what you want at your wedding. Our bridal party will have their own table without their SO's.

Ruth one way to prevent this (if your BP had a issue with it) would be to have a kings table. Where so's sit with the bp at the head table.