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Savvy July 2020

Having to postpone and kind of upset at the lack of response?

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Melissa, on May 3, 2020 at 3:20 AM

I know this is lame but our wedding was supposed to be today, May 2, 2020. We already postponed it a year because my older sister got engaged and decided she wanted to get married ASAP last spring and our wedding was going to be sort of a surprise as we were halfway across the country from our families so we decides to cancel that plan and reschedule for the year after - well the pandemic happened and that in itself is rough. I feel like I am being a baby but I have now post pines twice, I am an emergency room registered nurse dealing with this problem on the front lines and not a single friend or relative or anyone reached out today to see how I was and I’m just kind of bummed. A bridesmaid that is set to get married this October reached out yesterday to let me know that my new invitations were what she was planning on sending out so she backhandedly loves them - but obviously she wanted them for her own wedding (they matched our first invitations almost exactly just the stock paper was different). I’m just feeling down - is it normal that no one in the wedding party or either of our families reached out to see how we are holding up?

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57 Comments

Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 3:01 PM
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Chris, I definitely agree that people are downplaying how it hurts. I didn’t think it would hurt so bad because it’s not like we aren’t ever getting married but all of the time and planning that goes into it and to have it taken away was very hard for me at least
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 3:02 PM
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Thank you! 💜
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 3:02 PM
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Definitely thank you I understand that point of view also 🤍
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 3:03 PM
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I think that is a large part of it - if you’ve never planned a wedding and felt how much work goes into it maybe it seems more easy to reschedule !
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 3:04 PM
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Thank you Katie you are right 🤍
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 3:04 PM
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I kept checking my phone thinking at least my own mom would!
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Savvy March 2022
Sulema · on May 3, 2020 at 3:30 PM
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I am really sorry for what you are going through. And THANK YOU for your service during this difficult and uncertain times. I can definitely understand where you are coming from and I am so so sorry that those who you find close to did not reach out. I would definitely expect more from my bridesmaids. I truly believe oh should express your feelings to your close family and friends. People can take 5 seconds of their day at least to send you positive messages and to uplift you during this time. Stay strong and soon you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Remember those who matter will be there supporting you no matter what. Lean on your fiancé and family to get through this. Best of luck !
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Master May 2020
Kari · on May 3, 2020 at 4:18 PM
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Yea, this is pretty cruddy. I'm sorry you are going through this and are not getting ample support from your friends and family.
The day isn't over yet - so it's possible people are just waiting to reach out until later.
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Just Said Yes May 2021
Katie · on May 3, 2020 at 5:18 PM
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Sending so much love ❤️ Your day will be so special.
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Savvy September 2020
Apryl · on May 3, 2020 at 5:39 PM
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Girl I’m in the same boat! This will be the second time I’m postponing and I’ve had to change things about my wedding due to my younger sister getting pregnant and her due date is the week we wanted to reschedule to. Seems like everything is now revolving around my sister and because I’ve postponed my wedding doesn’t matter as much. I feel like I’m being a baby too but it’s exciting for me and not everyone being excited with me makes me upset so whatever let me be dramatic lol in the end the only person that has been through it with me and supports me is my SO and I’m so grateful for that! Don’t lose sight with the chaos that’s surrounding you guys!
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 5:41 PM
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I’m excited for you! I am so sorry you are going through nearly the same thing it’s hard and at times I feel dramatic but I think it just feels better when you know people are thinking of you and are excited for your big day 🤍🤍🤍
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 5:42 PM
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Thank you so much, it was yesterday May 2nd but I am hoping everyone cares they just aren’t aware of how to approach it or time slipped away because they were busy.🤍
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 5:45 PM
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Thank you so much! I expected a lot more from my bridesmaids as well as my family but maybe because I act like everything is fine they are afraid to bring it up - it is just a blow because the first time I had to reschedule my mom was so excited for my sister to be married and when I told her I wanted her to be excited for me she kind of said “I will be when your day comes” but I think she just doesn’t know how to express emotions right
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Savvy March 2022
Sulema · on May 3, 2020 at 5:51 PM
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I can relate ... I want my mom to be more exited and more involve in everything but she doesn’t really seem to be as exited as I am. I am planning everything on my own my bridesmaids as well as not too interested. My sister is in charge or the bridesmaid dresses so she just related to me when that’s happening. I would honestly not have any other bridesmaids but my two sisters but my fiancé wants their two wintered involved. They are also not as involved as I would hope everyone would be. My fiancé mom as well she is not as involved or minds anything really. It’s just kinda upsetting but at the end of the day it’s my day and I will make the best of it.
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Devoted April 2021
Kelly · on May 3, 2020 at 6:52 PM
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So sorry to hear about this girl! Thats so frustrating! I am not sure how “normal” it is but my bridesmaid/ maid of honor dont ever ask anything or offer input or pretend to even wanna help or do anything related to the wedding or non. I had surgery at the end of march, my mother and future father in law both had covid and he also just had a heart attack, they dont even reach out to see how im doing both physically and mentally. The most they do is cause stress not agreeing over a dress or color. So it isnt the same but i get it. People suck but i founf coming on here and venting makes you feel a little bit better and your feelings will definitely be validated ! Im so sorry again hun❤️
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Master 0000
Judith · on May 3, 2020 at 7:53 PM
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Pretty normal, actually. For all that I would generally offer support at the time of cancellation, and help or flexibility to reschedule ( if part of things), and make sure things happened on the new dates, I would never, ever think to contact them on their "would have been "days. Once those dates are changed, they are gone. Everything toward the future. And having had "would have been" days from 2 postponements myself, and anniversaries after my husband's death later, I became extremely angry at the people who did bring them up. They may have meant well, but bringing up all the problems that led to original changes of date, once adjusted to them, seemed rude and thoughtless, when on the receiving end of people who " remembered." I would never, ever dig painful things up like that for another person. People may simply see things differently. Not forgetting you, but trying to spare your feelings . Don't resent people who may be trying to be kind, just seeing things differently.
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Just Said Yes June 2020
Teagan · on May 3, 2020 at 8:46 PM
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You have every right to be upset and I know how you feel. My wedding was scheduled for a June 27th and we recently decided to rearrange our ceremony and possibly have a reception next year. I let my bridesmaids know first before we told anyone else. Only 1 out of the 5 texted me back to check in. It surprised me and still leaves me confused. I feel like it’s just a sensitive topic and people don’t know what to say but I don’t feel like that’s a good excuse 🙁
I feel like it’s completely normal to be grieving your wedding right now!!
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Sarah · on May 3, 2020 at 10:14 PM
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I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way. Our wedding is in September and I still can’t decide if we should postpone or not. Thank you for all that you do and keep your head up! Your big day will be worth the wait!!
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 10:14 PM
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I’m on the same boat I am sorry you’re going through that but happy someone else had the same issues I guess it’s our big day and we are the only people who need to be excited - but it’s sure be nice if it were more like the movies where everyone is involved and excited for us as well!
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Savvy July 2020
Melissa · on May 3, 2020 at 10:15 PM
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Thank you Sarah! I hope your day works out perfectly 🤍
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