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Melissa
Savvy July 2020

Having to postpone and kind of upset at the lack of response?

Melissa, on May 3, 2020 at 3:20 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 57
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I know this is lame but our wedding was supposed to be today, May 2, 2020. We already postponed it a year because my older sister got engaged and decided she wanted to get married ASAP last spring and our wedding was going to be sort of a surprise as we were halfway across the country from our families so we decides to cancel that plan and reschedule for the year after - well the pandemic happened and that in itself is rough. I feel like I am being a baby but I have now post pines twice, I am an emergency room registered nurse dealing with this problem on the front lines and not a single friend or relative or anyone reached out today to see how I was and I’m just kind of bummed. A bridesmaid that is set to get married this October reached out yesterday to let me know that my new invitations were what she was planning on sending out so she backhandedly loves them - but obviously she wanted them for her own wedding (they matched our first invitations almost exactly just the stock paper was different). I’m just feeling down - is it normal that no one in the wedding party or either of our families reached out to see how we are holding up?

57 Comments

Latest activity by Melissa, on June 22, 2020 at 11:12 PM
  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Postponed****
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  • Tee
    Dedicated October 2021
    Tee ·
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    I just want to validate how you’re feeling. You have every right to grieve, and be upset. I am sorry no one reached out and that you had to experience the cattiness from your bridesmaids. Wishing you much peace! Also, just wanted to say, thank you for your sacrifice and for being on the front lines.
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  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you Tee that means a lot to me I feel silly for grieving but it is a lot to deal with! I love my career and am glad I get to help in a time like this
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  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
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    You have a right to be upset, especially after postponing more than once. I’m sorry that this is happening and that nobody reached out. I’ve noticed as I’m planning my wedding that most people involved aren’t as invested in it simply because they have their own lives and with everything going on, their focus is even more away from the wedding. Maybe your loved ones are at the same point and didn’t mean any harm, they just simply lost track of the day or forgot. Your day is going to be more than perfect and all will be good again hopefully soon!!! Please feel better!
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    It’s totally understandable how you are feeling and after postponing twice I’m sure it’s really hard. On top of the job you which is very stressful. I’m sorry your friends and family haven’t checked on tour during this tough time. As the mother of a nurse caring for COVID patients I know how much me checking in her matters to her and helps her get through this. Maybe reach out to a close friend and share some of your feelings. Sometimes people are so self absorbed they forget to check on others but that’s not an excuse. Good luck and thank you for what you do!
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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    I'm so sorry this happened to you! Out of everyone, your bridal party should've definitely reached out! I hope that you and your FH still did something for the two of you yesterday.. hopefully all goes well with your new wedding date , and that you don't have to post pone again! Clearly some of your guests aren't concerned about your feelings, so Whoever comes , comes! I hope your new wedding day brings you and your FH so much joy and peace!! (:
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  • Laura
    Savvy September 2021
    Laura ·
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    I 100% feel you and if I knew you personally I would have reached out! We postponed our June wedding to late August and my gut is telling me we will postpone again to May 2021. Even if you know in your heart it’s the right thing to do, it still really, really sucks and I would be hurt and aggravated too. To give you a little perspective, we postponed in late March and I didn’t hear a WORD from my sister in law. Not a message of support or anything. You can bet that if I had behaved that way I wouldn’t have heard the end of it. You don’t have to excuse it but I’ve found that leaning on the people who do listen and support is the way to go. I’ve learned that I don’t have time to waste on those who can’t find a minute to send a text. I hear you though and you are so valid. We will all get through this!
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  • Niki
    Devoted August 2020
    Niki ·
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    Hi Melissa,


    I also want to validate your feelings. I’m so sorry you’re going through this & that no one reached out to you yesterday. You’re already dealing with a lot being on the frontlines & I think everyone is just consumed with themselves right now, which sucks. Thank you for all you do and know that you’re awesome! I wish you all the best & know that you’re in my thoughts. 💕
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  • Chris
    Dedicated April 2022
    Chris ·
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    My wedding was supposed to be yesterday too, May 2nd. It was tough for sure. The wedding was everything I hoped it would be (80, sunny, no clouds, no humidity... we’re in Florida) which made it hurt even more. We had 3 people reach out to us, that felt very nice.. I would’ve been hurt if no one reached out at all. I feel like people downplay the pain couples who had to postpone go through.
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  • Chris
    Dedicated April 2022
    Chris ·
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    The *weather was everything I hoped for
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  • Caitlin
    Devoted September 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    Wow... This sucks. Smiley sad I'm so sorry. I can give hugs. *HUGS*
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  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I would be upset too and I’m really sorry that your wedding day came and went. I would be so disappointed if this happened to me. But speaking as someone who knows people with canceled weddings, I don’t know if they will be more upset by me reaching out on the day itself. Just another reminder that it didn’t happen. Maybe it’ll be salt in the wound. I’m sure it’s not that they don’t care, they may just not know what you need or what’s appropriate. If you need support from your close family and friends, I would reach out. I’m sure they would be there for you.
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  • Alyssa
    Dedicated July 2021
    Alyssa ·
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    The only other person besides my mom that reached out when I postponed was my sister-in-law. I was so happy that she said something. I’m only 24, so none of my friends are married and have barely had serious relationships, so I don’t really think they understand what I’m going through. Of course they are sad that the wedding isn’t happening for another year, and I think they could have said something comforting, but I also don’t really think that they know what to say because they haven’t had to plan a wedding
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  • K
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Katie ·
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    Sending love your way ❤️ This is a tough time, especially when yesterday was going to be your day. At the same time, you have the person you love, and you will marry that person soon. I hope it helps to think that the specific day (or if your friend wanted your invitations) won’t matter because it’ll be the life you two build together that will be the greatest gift.
    As a fellow nurse and engaged person, be well, and I bet you will have a beautiful wedding and a beautiful life with your soon to be spouse ❤️
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think that’s fine to feel disappointed by that because it would be nice if someone at least reached out
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  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you so much posting this and reading the replies have made me feel much better!
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  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you Cyndy I definitely will reach out to a close friend!
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  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you Courtney ! I think sometimes it’s hard when people aren’t as considerate as you might be
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  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you Laura! I felt silly being upset at first but my FH told me some people aren’t as considerate as we might be . It was just kind of sad that not even my MOH reached out or my sisters
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  • Melissa
    Savvy July 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you Niki💜💜💜
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