Having children not attend the reception

I don't think it's rude at all. I'm also planning to not have ANY kids at my wedding, No Exceptions! A wedding ceremony and reception is not a kid friendly environment. Kids get tired and cry or start running around and before you know it, your dance floor will become a playground. I personally think it's the best way to go. I don't think it's rude at all. I've been invited to several weddings were kids aren't invited and it's such a beautiful experience. Good luck and Congratulations on your big day!

If she's in the wedding, I'm not sure what the etiquette is for the flower girl. It's not rude to say no kids. But understand that some people may not be comfortable leaving their kids with an unknown babysitter, even if you provide one. Be prepared for the parents to decline invitation to the party.

@angelica thank you! I don't want it to be a playground.

@becomingmrsoz I have a feeling one of my friends is going to decline but it's what I want!

If the kids are in the wedding, they need a reception invite. They are people too and it's rude to invite people to just part of the day. Otherwise you're going to look like you're just using this kid as a prop for cute photos. Other kids don't have to be invited if they're not invited to the ceremony.

If you have children in the bridal party, yet you don't want them at the reception, people are going to have the impression that you're just using those children as props.

You kind of ARE using the kids as props no matter what, honestly. I mean- what other reason to have little kids that will barely remember the event participate? I can see for older children, junior bridesmaids, kids that are older than average flower girls/ ring bearers....they will remember being in that wedding for their whole lives and the reception would be interesting to them, maybe. But I really don't get why everyone gets bent out of shape about telling children it is an adult party and they can't attend. The parents are going to end up with super adorable pictures of their kid(s) in the wedding and OP is even providing a babysitter which is very considerate. I have absolutely no problem with wanting children to be a part of my marriage union and not wanting them at a grown up party. Buy the kids presents for helping, they don't need to be around a bunch of people getting wasted and partying all night. They're children. They should be able to comprehend adults telling them that the reception isn't for kids. This is the biggest thing that boggles my mind about wedding etiquette on here. And even though I understand that older kids may WANT to come, I don't see why their parents would want them present in an adult atmosphere anyways. Many receptions are totally kid friendly, others are not.

Well you would be mistaken as per etiquette lemonEgg. Some parents may take offence at their kids being good enough to walk down the aisle but not adequate to attend the reception. Regarding "adult atmosphere", You don't get to make those parenting decisions, the parents do.

@Jacks

I know. It just drives me crazy!

If they are in the ceremony they should be invited to the reception. Chances are they'll be taken to bed early anyways.

This is why I'm not having a flower girl (or any children) in my wedding.

If you don't want to be rude, you're going to have to choose between having a flower girl and having no kids at the reception.

It's rude to ask the children to do something for you and then send them away once the fun starts.

We will have 6 kids under the age of 4. We are planning on having a babysitter at the venue. The Bridal Suite is enormous so our plan is to set up blankets and pillows in there with toys and a DVD or two. Once it gets to be bedtime the kids can go chill in there and the parents can still enjoy the night.

I feel like the flower girl needs a reception invite but it is perfectly fine to not have any,other kids at the wedding. We are doing the same

I totally understand not wanting kids there, but saying your worried about your drunk friends injuring the children is a bit dramatic. If you don't want kids at the reception then don't have them in the wedding.

We aren't allowing guest to bring children to the reception. However we are allowing our nieces and nephews to be there.

I personally agree with your FH, I do think it's rude BUT you both need to have a common ground here, puck what works best for you and the venue. We will have lots of children at our wedding it's a family affair, so all our family is invited.

Invite BP kids, (and yes, they stay for the entire thing) but that's it, if that's what you want. I don't think, really, it's your responsibility to provide sitting or to put this much thought into it. @Muffin, plenty of people have ONLY bp kids at their wedding; it's totally fine.

I'll go further; if you want, I think it's fine to have family kids but not guest kids. If people decline because of that...well, that's the price of parenthood.

It's against etiquette to invite any guest (including children) to part of the wedding. The parents will make a decision about when their bedtime is. As well, children can be around adults consuming alcohol, it's not a big deal.

Do not use these children as props. Either these children are there for the entirety of the wedding or you don't have any children. Make a choice and stick to it. Don't make excuses.

I'm having a kid free reception as well, but with the exception of the kids in the wedding party. I'm leaving it up to the parents if they want the kids to attend the reception or not.

I would also check in with the parents before you hire a sitter some parents may not want to leave the kids with an unknown sitter.

If there are kids in the wedding party, it's incredibly rude to cut them out of the reception. If you want absolutely no kids at the reception, don't have kids in the bridal party. Just because they're small doesn't mean they're props for photos. They're still people.

Incidentally parents generally know how to handle their kids at a public function, and if their kid is past bedtime and starting to get cranky, most parents will take them home.

I think it's rude, yeah. Plus, what if the parents don't want to leave their kids with the person you selected as the babysitter? They'll just leave, too.