Has someone had an upset 'friend' for not being invited

HS girlfriend?

How old are you to where this is relevant?

I don't think telling her outright was the right action--she was rude to ask, but I wouldn't have told her...I would have said something along the lines of "the guest list we've chosen is our closest family and friends" or "we're still working on our guest list, we haven't sent invitations yet."

Don't engage with this woman. You ARE making yourself look petty, now, even though I stand by your reasons. My FH didn't want me to invite someone to our wedding because they dated eons ago (funny enough I would like to invite her because she's hella cool and they barely dated). I respected his choice (even though she's the only one of our long-distance friend group without an invite, so I feel bad!).

Um. she's ate up. she needs to get over it. does FH want to invite her? bc if so, you need to check him! you've said it makes you uncomfortable. you don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

I'm going to need details: how old are you and how long ago did they break up?

I agree you shouldn't have contacted her. High school was forever ago. If they stayed friends then that is cool. Some people are meant to be friends instead of significant others. If he wants her to come, I would say invite her. You're the one marrying him. What they had is ancient history. But if he doesn't care to invite her, then tell him to put his foot down. You shouldn't be talking to her. She wants to see her friend get married. That's not unheard of.

I'm 22, and FH does not care if she comes or not.

He understands it makes me uncomfortable but said he wouldn't intermediate any conversations so if I wanted to say something I had to do on my own.

The only reason I messaged her is bc I thought she was being rude saying I don't trust him around her.

Ok your age makes more sense with this story.

But you're getting married in 2 weeks?

I think they had this plotline on 90210. At least it sounds like a plotline from any soap opera.

Yep your FH should be having this talk with her not you. If he really doesn't care if she comes or not, then you just stop talking to her and about it. You're getting married in 2 weeks. I'm pretty sure your final numbers are in anyways at this point. You can't let them know they bother you and that's what you did by messaging her. So now go radio silent. You don't owe her any explanation on why she isn't invited.

He doesn't care if she comes or not? WTF kinda response is that? He better care. And HE should have been the one to respond to this nonsense, not you.

Yes, we are getting married in two weeks

She probably noticed she wasn't invited and invited herself

Exs or former sex buddies of either bride or groom shouldn't be invited to a wedding. I probably would have ignored her. It is your day and too bad if she's not invited. You don't want drama. Plus it kind of sounds like she wouldn't actually be entirely happy for you. With that said, your future husband should have taken care of any issue with her, not you.

@Annie We had a handful of ex's (on both on ends) at our wedding that are now really good friends of ours. Sometimes relationships end and real friendships begin. And it wasn't an issue because that was in our past, everyone has a past. And we get along with all of each other's ex's that were there. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean the friendship needs to. That's how you adult. In this situation though, if he was really good friends with her though, he would have said "yes i want her there".

Oh wow!! Where to begin? My DH has a co-worker, they dated, she fell in love with him, without all the drama behind this story, he wanted to invite her & her husband to our wedding. She & I don't get along for obvious reasons but I was not going to let her win this one! So we invited them. One day at work she tells DH that she doesn't think she's going to make the wedding because...oh get this...she doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable on my wedding day. Yes she went there!! LOL...so when DH came home & told me this I was like...oh...really??? Please tell her that she is more than welcome to attend our wedding I will in no way feel uncomfortable by her being there. REALLY??? She still hasn't gotten over him...her problem not mine. So he did tell her & they attended. I was very gracious to have them there or so everyone thought!!! My thoughts were like ummm...He's marrying ME why would I be uncomfortable...it's the happiest day of my LIFE....

You should've let your FH handle this one. Now she knows that she can get to you, and trust me when I tell you this, she will continue to try to get to you. You now have to find a way to make her believe it doesn't bother you. Let it go. Don't make him choose. Unless of course she crosses the line. That's another thing all together. Good luck!

Both of you need to get over it. Ignore her and if he loses her as a friend oh well. It doesn't seem like your FH cares enough considering he didn't say anything about her not being invited and didn't bother to give her an explanation. Move on and worry about your wedding not some girl from 5 years ago.

ETA: fixed DH to FH since you aren't married yet

For some people an ex (no matter how long ago the relationship was) attending a wedding is a big no no, but some people really weren't meant to be together romantically but just as friends and I've seen a lot of people date then realize it's not for them and stayed life long best friends. If they really are close.... I'm assuming you would know this already. Regardless of their dating history you would know NOW if she's been an important friend in FH'S life. So you should've let her come if that was the case and gotten over your insecurities. But if they've just remained acquaintances that have kept in contact over Facebook through out the years and she's not an important part of his life.... then yeah I can understand her needing to shut the fuck up, and don't try and pry her way into a wedding she wasn't invited to. That's rude. Either way I agree with previous posters.... FH should have dealt with this. His friend, not yours. Also either way.... she should've backed the eff off. Not her wedding, not her man, not her business. She can throw herself a pity party over not being invited and leave FH out of it.

@mimitrue, no it's not how a person "adults." If that worked for you and your spouse then okay it worked for you guys but it doesn't work for everybody else. Out of all the weddings I've been to or been a bridesmaid for, not one bride or groom has invited somebody that was an ex or sex buddy with. Yes people can be friends with people they used to screw or be in a relationship with but that doesn't mean that they should be invited to the wedding. Not everybody has the same comfort level.

Yeah I think you and she both handled this in a very child-like fashion. You never should have contacted her at all. Doesn't matter how rude she's been. That only added fuel to the fire. FH should have just told her she's not invited and you all should have been done with it. Any protesting on her part should have been ignored.

You have created drama for no reason. Who the eff cares if she is upset for not being invited?

What does "intermediate any conversations" mean?

We are inviting my high school boyfriend who was also my first kiss. This was 13 years ago, but we have been inseparable friends since. He is also a photographer and took our engagement pictures AND attended our engagement party. FH thinks he is a cool dude.

All 3 of you sound very immature.