Hopiate
Dedicated May 2018

Has anyone had a POSITIVE dry wedding experience?

Hopiate, on June 2, 2017 at 4:19 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 138

After searching these forums pretty thoroughly, I'm genuinely curious - has anyone ever enjoyed themselves at a dry wedding? Most posters just talk about all the negative things about a dry wedding i.e. poor hosting, cheap reception, boring, etc. But have there ever been any positives? We are going...

After searching these forums pretty thoroughly, I'm genuinely curious - has anyone ever enjoyed themselves at a dry wedding?

Most posters just talk about all the negative things about a dry wedding i.e. poor hosting, cheap reception, boring, etc. But have there ever been any positives?

We are going to have a dry reception because of a variety of reasons (religion of guests, medical reasons for myself and guests, AA guests, etc.) and I come from an area where dry receptions are pretty common (LOTS of Mormons) so I'm not worried about my guests giving me side-eye. I just would like to know if anyone here has had a good time at a dry reception, and if you did, what made it fun, despite not having the typical party atmosphere? Was there really good food, a fun non-alcoholic drink bar, or something else?

(I'm not looking for the typical "No. Just don't have one." responses. I've already read plenty of reasons not to have a dry reception.)

138 Comments

  • Meaghan
    VIP November 2017
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag

    I have been to one dry wedding and it was great, but it was short with a cake and punch reception at a non-meal time. As long as its short and sweet without a meal I don't think alcohol will be missed, but if you expect people to dance and stay past meal time, a dry wedding will not fly.

    • Reply
  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
    • Flag

    I've never been to one. I like to drink so I would have a flask in my garter. HaHa!

    • Reply
  • Jennifer VR
    VIP April 2017
    Jennifer VR ·
    • Flag

    @Celia, some religions view alcohol as mind altering, and therefore is avoided like other drugs.

    We generally try and fit in with the culture / religion of the wedding couple. If they are Muslim or part of a community which doesn't drink for other cultural reasons, then there is no alcohol. As long as it's well catered and the table is fun, I'm fine.

    In South Africa though, dry weddings are not about the money since most are cash bar or limited tab anyway.

    I personally DO need alcohol to have fun most of the time because I struggle to socialize with strangers.

    • Reply
  • Jaimee
    Master October 2019
    Jaimee ·
    • Flag

    @Teresa, not trying to be a pain here, but I'm just looking for clarification on your religion in general--I take it that the Devil is used in a literal sense? Like, an actual physical deity? Just genuinely curious!

    I've never been to dry-wedding. I've been to cash-bar weddings, but I wasn't old enough to drink. The last cash-bar wedding I went to was my father's; drinks at the bar cost money, but the sangria was free.

    I found it odd, but whatever. Not my wedding. Honestly? When it comes to the cash bar and/or dry-wedding posts, my stance is to educate someone, and let them make their own decision + the aftermath (whatever it may be). I did my part.

    • Reply
  • Angela
    Devoted October 2018
    Angela ·
    • Flag

    Just make sure to set yourself up for this type of wedding. There is no dancing late into the night. There's no packed dance floor. There's no "roar" of the music, people talking, people dancing, drinking, eating, and you just taking that moment to step back from it all to look at the awesome party. Noon. Cake and punch. Expect people to leave after you cut the cake. It's a hard pill to swallow for a little 3 hour shindig.

    • Reply
  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
    • Flag

    @Celia the traditional church of Christ (not the United Church of Christ) doesn't drink for several reasons

    1 while the modern versions of the bible say "Wine", looking at the original translations in greek and hebrew, they had different terms for non alcoholic juice that ended up through many translations got translated to wine. Just like cider - it can be alcoholic or not

    2 Drunkenness is a sin - so what qualifies as drunk in the eyes of God? one sip? one glass? one bottle of wine? tolerance different for every person, and just to be on the safe side it is better not to consume it at all unless for medicinal purposes like alcohol in cough syrup

    3 we are commanded not to be a stumbling block for our brother. While I may have a high tolerance without getting drunk, my brother beside me may not have the tolerance that I do, and if he see's me drinking two glasses of wine without being sloppy, he may think that he can do the same when in fact he can not. Again, erring on the side of caution, it is better not to.

    4- we don't provide alcohol as to not be enablers.

    But not that having a religious reason really needs to be explained. just because YOUR religion drinks, why put down others who don't? Call yourself a pastor, yet scoff at others who believe differently than you rather than try to (lovingly) enlighten them of your ways.

    • Reply
  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
    • Flag

    People pick and choose parts of their "religion" to follow. How many actually follow everything word for word?

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.Bailey
    Devoted September 2017
    FutureMrs.Bailey ·
    • Flag

    @Prison Mike starts a slow clap. I will never understand why so many ppl have so many negative things to say about someone's religion or culture. Now that is TACKY and RUDE!

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.Bailey
    Devoted September 2017
    FutureMrs.Bailey ·
    • Flag

    @VC That has nothing to do with you. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. How is anyone's religious decisions affecting you?

    • Reply
  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
    • Flag

    @VC no one follows perfectly - we are imperfect but its our responsibility to do the best we can and ask for forgiveness when we fall short.

    Again, not that that needs explanation, but to rip someone for their beliefs is low

    If the rules of a religion or culture don't apply to you, just leave it alone

    • Reply
  • FutureFuji
    VIP September 2017
    FutureFuji ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, if I'm at a dry wedding and the wedding is at dinner time and I'm expected to dance and stay late, im hitting up the "bar" for soda and spiking it with a flask as are all my friends. I think it's unacceptable to not offer alcohol at dinner time (ONLY exceptions are religion or If and only if the person directly paying for the wedding is recovering) because when I go out to eat and often at home too, I enjoy having a cocktail to compliment my meal. Lunch time weddings I'll give a pass and not drink, brunch weddings need mimosas at a minimum. I personally would prefer a cash bar to no bar at all.

    So yes, I have had fun at dry weddings but not necessarily in the way the brides intended??

    And be ready for people to bring flasks or to take frequent trips to their cars.

    Eta none of that will change my gift though. That's just petty.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I hid my comment. I'm genuinely sorry if I offended anyone. I'm not 'ripping anyone's religion'....I actually have a lot of respect for anyone who has made a conscious decision to follow a spiritual path, whatever path that is. I just honestly (no snideness here) don't get the rules thing, and as VC just wrote, why people seem to think some 'rules' are worth following and some are not. Wearing mixed fabrics? Not in the bible.

    Do whatever works for you, not what works for me.

    And by the way, I don't 'call myself a pastor'. I actually am a pastor. Just for the record.

    • Reply
  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
    • Flag

    @FutureMrs.Bailey - I'm lucky I don't live in certain states where people can be treated differently for being gay. So yes it does affect me because when religion plays into politics and society, it affects others.

    I'm thankful where I live religion does not creep into politics. But I feel for those who do.

    I wouldn't be married today if religion still had it's way to impact my life.

    • Reply
  • D
    Beginner April 2018
    Diana ·
    • Flag

    Hopiate, I am also having a dry wedding for religious reasons. My wedding is also a mix of two cultures as my fiancé is Pakistani and I am American and Muslim convert. My family is used to weddings with alcohol. I have been considering allowing BYOB due to pressure from my siblings and some of our friends who we think will sneak it in either way. But we are not planning on advertising BYOB unless people ask us. To make up for the lack of supplied alcohol, we are having two caterers, one with Pakistani food and one with American food all buffet style, a tea, coffee bar, a dessert bar, a good DJ who is a close friend, and possibly some outdoor games. I've been considering a caricature artist but not henna since it's messy. I think as long as you keep things moving, have a good DJ and have things for the guests to do then only dance it will be fine. Let me know if you want to brain storm ideas! I'll be glad to try and help us both!

    • Reply
  • JustSayNguyen
    Devoted October 2017
    JustSayNguyen ·
    • Flag

    I know it's a UO on here but I have been to many dry weddings myself (mostly religious reasons) and I still had fun. Granted at one I did sneak away with another guest to the hotel bar next door and down a few lol so that helped. From my point of view I definitely do not prefer a dry wedding, I enjoy having a drink or two. BUT, I am not really offended by a dry wedding and I still get up and dance. One in particular was a close friend of mine who is just an amazing energetic person and as a couple they are a lot of fun so the vibe of the party was still pretty great! I think just trying to keep your guests involved and keeping the vibe upbeat helps. That being said I still prefer alcohol at a wedding but it does not influence my decision to go and I don't honestly think any differently of the couple.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    VIP July 2018
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    I went to one wedding for a friend in high school that was dry. Bride was preggers and they were both 18 so couldn't drink. It was... interesting.

    • Reply
  • lyla
    Master July 2017
    lyla ·
    • Flag

    My best friend had a dry wedding and I was a bridesmaid. She and the vast majority of guests are LDS, so nobody was expecting alcohol anyhow. I had a great time! And all of the young people still danced. To be honest, I never even noticed it was a dry wedding until I came on this forum and got to thinking about all the weddings I've attended.

    And no, I'm not saying this to support my own plans. We're having a top-shelf full open bar from the minute people get to the venue till the minute they leave lol.

    • Reply
  • Svetlana
    VIP October 2018
    Svetlana ·
    • Flag

    I personally can have a good time in just about any situation as long as there is good food and music to dance to. I don't know a lot about the church of LDS but it makes me wonder what their thoughts are on pain medications? They cross the blood brain barrier the same as alcohol and can alter behaviors as well.

    • Reply
  • Nonna T
    Master April 2014
    Nonna T ·
    • Flag

    Prison Mike and Chip I salute you!

    Not in the Italian "a la salute" with your glass in the air. Or maybe! It could have anything in it Smiley smile

    We talk in generalities here a lot. If it's against your religion then it is and that should be respected imo.

    And fwiw, Celia thinks other religions have ridiculous rules too. Though no one makes her adhere by them.

    So she better buy me that boat soon!

    • Reply
  • Teri
    VIP May 2017
    Teri ·
    • Flag

    My cousin had a dry reception. It was a mid day wedding with a short reception. She had catered sandwiches, potato salad, chips, cupcakes, mints, nuts, punch, water, coffee bar. It worked for her. She and both families are very religious.

    • Reply

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