Hollywoll
VIP June 2011

Hall of Fame: Your worst RSVP experiences

Hollywoll, on June 8, 2011 at 8:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 28
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Let's share our RSVP fails.

To start off, I have a HUGE family. I'm not close to many of them, so it's not much of a surprise when they decline. The RSVP date was May 31st and many still haven't answered on my mom's side. Today I get a message on Facebook that one of my older cousins isn't coming because it's her husband's birthday. Wow, didn't realize my afternoon wedding would ruin his whole birthday. What, are they doing a crazy continuous celebration? Just wondering.

I know that's not too bad, but it still stung a bit that she had to use FB when she could have just sent back the card I put a stamp on for this exact purpose. Didn't need to know my wedding was less important than her husband's birthday.

Anyone else have some RSVP fails?

28 Comments

Latest activity by James to Be ♥, on October 8, 2011 at 4:55 PM
  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    I had a friend say, "Why does anyone need to RSVP? You KNOW we're coming!" I was like, "No, I don't know. BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T RSVPED. Also, this is a wedding, not a kegger."

    • Reply
  • Hollywoll
    VIP June 2011
    Hollywoll ·
    • Flag

    Lol, I have gotten the same thing!! People have lost what good etiquette is, I guess...

    • Reply
  • Amy "Been here too long" W.
    VIP November 2011
    Amy "Been here too long" W. ·
    • Flag

    I'm not at that point yet, but I did have some of FH immediate family try to RSVP from the STDs. They thought the magnets were the invites. Come on now!

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Dedicated October 2011
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    My best friend had 100 ppl RSVP and only about 50 showed up! then after the ceremony more ppl left and there was only about 30 ppl at the reception!

    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted June 2011
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    My FH has a very large extended family. He is not close to most of his adult cousins. We had to draw a line and we did not invite many of his adult cousins. We had several of his Aunts/Uncles RSVP and write in the names of the adult cousins we did not invite.

    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted June 2011
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    My FH has a very large extended family. He is not close to most of his adult cousins. We had to draw a line and we did not invite many of his adult cousins. We had several of his Aunts/Uncles RSVP and write in the names of the adult cousins we did not invite.

    • Reply
  • Sarah L.
    VIP September 2011
    Sarah L. ·
    • Flag

    @ Holly- read my article https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/can-you-believe-how-rude-this-person-is/9d79e5eb8c39f1d8.html and that should explain it all.

    @ Amy - i had the same problem. i had people who thought that my STD magnets were the invitations. My MOH's mother told me she didn't like the invitation very much but after I explained to her that the reason it says Save The Date real big on the top of the magnet is because that all it is she realized that she had a blond moment and loved them.

    • Reply
  • Shropshire2Davis
    VIP June 2019
    Shropshire2Davis ·
    • Flag

    I haven't had any really bad RSVP experiences yet, we were going to have our wedding this august but we chose to push it back...just a let down RSVP from FH's dad and step-mom...I just thought it was sad because they traveled to the other side of the country for his step-sisters military graduation but they wouldn't come up to Alaska (not far from Washington) for a simple wedding for his son....

    • Reply
  • Puffins
    Master November 2012
    Puffins ·
    • Flag

    Well, I haven't sent out invites yet, but we recently got one....

    FH and I have been together for 4.5 years. This friend, "Jim" met FH 3-3.5 years ago and became really really good friends quickly. They do a lot together on weekends, etc. Well Jim and his girlfriend got engaged AFTER FH and I, and sent out invites last week. It was to "John Doe and Guest."

    Um, we've been engaged for 6 months. I've met this guy Jim several times, met his fiance a couple of times... and they couldn't take 2 seconds more to spell out "Anna." I mean I don't really care - the girl is kind of a b!tch, but I just thought that was the tackiest thing ever. It's not like I'm new in FH's life, I was here before them!

    • Reply
  • I
    Devoted July 2011
    ImA ·
    • Flag

    I am 2 days away from my RSVP date, and only 68 out of 212 people have RSVP'd. I'm in panic mode... Everyone I've asked why they haven't RSVP'd say I though you knew we were coming (like Shannon said)!! Um, no, that's why you are supposed to RSVP. Grrr!

    • Reply
  • irin997
    Super June 2011
    irin997 ·
    • Flag

    I had a couple people that were invited solo add in a guest. That was fun.

    • Reply
  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    Irin, I did "_ seat(s) are reserved in your honor" and when people asked about guests, I said we'd have to wait until all the RSVPs came in. I think I was able to add one or two guests, but that was it.

    • Reply
  • Konichiwa
    Master January 2010
    Konichiwa ·
    • Flag

    RSVPs were the worst! I sent out about 20 additional invites to my dads family that I hardly know, I wasn't going to invite them because I'm not close to them and hardly know them. But my dad was really upset we weren't so I caved and invited. Lo and behold, who were the people who didn't RSVP? Of course the people I hardly knew. One of my dads local cousins who stays in contact with them said she'd call them for me to see if they planned to come, I was paying per person and needed that head count! Anyway after she'd made a few calls she tells me, "C'mon Kellee! We're Mexican! We don't RSVP!" I was livid! Like our race should excuse common curtesy! GRRRR!

    • Reply
  • Konichiwa
    Master January 2010
    Konichiwa ·
    • Flag

    Oops! Double post...

    • Reply
  • irin997
    Super June 2011
    irin997 ·
    • Flag

    @Shannon - yeah I wish I'd done this from the beginning....it would have saved me a lot of stress!

    • Reply
  • Nicolle
    Dedicated July 2011
    Nicolle ·
    • Flag

    I wish I had done the same thing....our RSVP date is June 25th, and we have already had 1 person add on. It's annoying. I hope it doesn't happen with anyone else. I have seen people do the "_____seats have been reserved in your honor", and I thought, "Oh, I don't need to do that....". Ugh!

    • Reply
  • FMS, the barefoot wife!
    Master August 2010
    FMS, the barefoot wife! ·
    • Flag

    My Uncle didn't RSVP, then after I called him to confirm, he siad Yes, write me down and the kids too! To which I had to explain we're were trying to have a small wedding and unfortantely we could only invite him.

    Another Aunt & Uncle had a brother visiting from New Zeland, so he came to the wedding too. Or else they weren't coming. Whatever.

    There was people who didn't RSVP, and they'd never call me back, so MIL called them (her friends) okay, great, he's coming. He brought one of his great nieces, whom I don't know and didn't invite. She was dressed in dirty stained jean capris and dirty stained what once was white shirt.

    I'm sure there is more..

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert June 2011
    Anonymous ·
    • Flag

    I just had someone email an aunt on fh's side, who then emailed my FMIL who then emailed ME, saying, "Oh aunt such and such thought she had a work project to do that day, but now she doesn't, can she come?" She already said no, and I'm getting married NEXT WEEK! I already paid for everything, made the place cards and seating chart. Finally I said, ok whatever... But im not giving her a place card, someone can just email her the table number and its not going to be me. Then FMIL has the nerve to tell me who she can and can not sit with. Umm, she'll sit wherever there is room for her last minute ARSE

    • Reply
  • Brandy
    Dedicated June 2011
    Brandy ·
    • Flag

    We only had to call about 25 out of 352 people...so we didn't do too bad on the getting back of the cards. But, my RSVP FAIL was the person who sent back the RSVP writing "sorry, we are not able to come"... but didn't put a name or return address on it. So...someone can't come! Of the people we called, noone said that they sent it in saying that- but, apparently someone isn't coming! Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • C
    Super May 2013
    Crystal ·
    • Flag

    I've had some people RSVP, or more so, let me know they can't make it upon receiving the save-the-dates. I'm sort of ok with that, though, because that's just less invites I'll need to get printed. Smiley smile

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