Half-dressed wedding guests

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I mean if that's how you see it that's your perception. I just don't think someone's else book of worship should dictate how non-believers should behave.

The best way is to nicely note in the invite that you have a strict policy on attire and you would love if everyone came dressed appropriately to be around children and elders if they love you and respect your wishes they will understand have no problem doing so congrats

Some of y’all are doing too much on these posts. People ask a question and you’re ready to go in, being rude. We all understand what is being asked here and it really isn’t that deep. Just give your answer and keep it moving. You can give your opinion without being so smart mouthed.

But to address the post, the same way that you see adults responding here is how some of the people you’re inviting will respond the moment you try to address their attire. Don’t tell me how to dress. I can show skin. So on and so forth. Unfortunately, people love doing what they want and rarely want to be addressed or care about your desires for your wedding attire. Most times, people get offensive and attack you for even asking. Your best bet is to put formal attire and keep it general on your invite. But let them choose what they deem as formal and don’t worry about it.

View Quoted Comment Or hire a bouncer to kick out your guests that you think are inappropriately dressed. 💁🏽

View Quoted Comment Lol This is so true! However, in context, they didn’t know they were naked. We know this because the moment they realized, they covered themselves.

No offense or attack. What you’re saying is absolutely true. But the way of thinking and perspective were different than how things are now

How formal of a wedding are you having? If you have a formal wedding or black tie wedding this is will prevent things from sticking out

View Quoted Comment Lol. I agree 100% ... lots of brick walls here.

I also have DD's, I am 100% not religious and I can understand OP's point of view. Probably bc I'm not closed minded and I am also respectful of others.

OP-Unfortunately, I dont think there is much that can be done to ensure people dont dress like they are going to a club... and if you get to address it, it may turn people off.
But if it is that important to you, then I think you should address it.

View Quoted Comment She specifically said in her mind it’s religious. So, she was really trying not to be insensitive or insinuate something. I don’t think, at this point, anything could have been said that wouldn’t result in a kind response.

She was asking a reasonable question and asking for advice, not to be bombarded with negative comments. I wouldn’t want people dressed like that at my wedding either! It’s disrepectful and not necessary for a wedding. It’s not a bar hop. I would add in the invitation somewhere what kind of dress attire you would like. Such as formal attire only or something like that. If they don’t abide by that there’s not much you can do but at least you express your wishes! 😊

Wedding Wire is definitely a site with some interesting forums. But I’m hoping that we can all be respectful of one another and give each other tips for our weddings in a kind way. There are people who really want advice and ask as nicely as possible and still get attacked no matter what.

To the OP, let it all roll off. This will not be the last forum to go this way. Religion has nothing to do with what’s happening. Religious or not religious, it comes down to the person and some people naturally speak in a way that may seem offensive (sometimes even on purpose). Focus on the good advice, get what you can from people (bc normally there’s some hard to see truths to what they’re saying), and enjoy your life and marriage. Don’t know if it even bothered you much, but it bothered me to see it so I wanted to encourage you

My dress code was chic & elegant and I did not have this issue even with the teenagers guests. It's always better to say to people what to do rather than what do not do they can feel offensed. However keep in mind that no matter what your the Bride so all eyes will be on you not otherd guests!You won't be able to control everything.

If your wedding is in a house of worship that requires modest dress, such as a mosque or a more traditional/orthodox Christian church, and they will not allow people dressed “immodestly” in, then it’s perfectly acceptable to add a line on the invite or website saying something along the lines of “due to the dress code of the ceremony venue, we ask that guests dress modestly out of respect to x house of worship’s rules. Guests not in accordance with the dress policy may not be allowed inside.” If your wedding is NOT in such a venue, then you have no right to police what adults choose to wear to your wedding. I honestly think that once your wedding day comes, you likely will be too focused on getting married and celebrating to be concerned about what your guests are wearing.

View Quoted Comment Well first off, not everyone goes to church, marriage isn’t only a religious thing. Mine will be, yours will be and many others will be but legally you’re not married with out the license and that’s not religious. I disagree with you though. I go to church and I dress pretty modest, I’m also a big girl so I have to chose my clothing well. BUT. I also get that not everyone believes in my religion. My wedding is at a church so is the reception. I am going to deal with the fact that I have a few guests that I might be embarrassed to wear to a wedding /to a church, but I’m not going to tell them what to wear. It’s their choice. I’m not the one disrespecting the church/religion but for them, in their mind, it isn’t disrespect because they don’t believe the same as me.


People do understand modesty but because you’re coming off as judgement with the way you worded your post, people get defensive.
Some people don’t understand modesty and trhough hat’s ok. You have to make a decision to invite them or not but you don’t get to choose how the dress end of story.

I think, regardless of how or why you are dictating people's clothing, you can't just say "dress modestly" because people perceive modesty very differently depending on their culture, their upbringing, their own fashion sense. Modesty is not a set of fashion advice. Think, the colleagues that you saw at the other wedding probably 100% thought that they were wearing appropriate clothing. You thought it was inappropriate. But if you ask them to dress "modestly" they will probably still wear similar clothing, because almost nobody goes to a wedding trying to be intentionally distasteful.

So if your house of worship legitimately has a specific dress code for people (men and women included), you should mention it on your wedding website and a details card, but be specific. For example "At House of Worship X, women are suggested to cover their shoulders, their hair, their feet, and everything in between. Men are suggested to wear baseball caps and overalls. "

I promise you that if I received an invitation and it included the words "Please dress modestly out of respect for God" I would go full naked. I'm not even slightly joking. I can respect God in any state of dress or undress as I chose. However, if I recieved an invitation saying "Traditional dress of this church is covered shoulders and knee-length skirts" I would try to accommodate that the best I could, and I would appreciate the heads-up.

View Quoted Comment When I went to church on Easter (not even slightly religious but FH is so I’ll put up with it on occasion), the wife of one of the youth leaders was wearing a rather short, spaghetti strap dress. It was adorable. When I attended a Mormon church service I bought a modest dress for the occasion, but I was told I didn’t have to and that they allow people in (visitors who aren’t Mormon) even in short shorts and tank tops. And Mormon modesty is very strict and widely followed/enforced.

Maybe put some kind of reminder of formality on your website.

View Quoted Comment This is an even better version of the advice I gave. Modesty is subjective, so be specific if you are working within a rigid dress code.

It's your wedding and if you don't want to look at half-dressed women either have a conversation with them or don't invite them. I don't care where you're getting married if it's in a religious setting or not if you don't want to see women's breasts hanging out of their topsvor their underwear because their skirts are too short so be it. My grandmother will be 88 in August and I'm sure she doesn't want to see women dress in such a manner at my wedding. Women defending women dressing in an inappropriate manner for a wedding is just gross to me. These are probably the same people that think wearing jeans and heels to a college graduation is appropriate. The same folks that wear tights and tunics to an office job and think they're dressed in business casual attire. The same folks that believe tights are pants. The bottom line is most people do not know how to dress for the occasion anymore.

View Quoted Comment And my grandmother buys myself and my cousins short shorts and dresses, crop tops, and leggings that we wear as pants. Being old doesn’t automatically mean you’re conservative or require you to be judgmental and shame younger women for their choices. Personally, women shaming other women for doing what they want with their bodies is gross to me. And you clearly don’t live in California because everything you listed as an example of appalling dress is totally acceptable here.

View Quoted Comment This.
My guests' attire is the last thing on my mind about my wedding day. I just want them to be comfortable and happy. If they wanna wear booty shorts, cool, they'll rock them on the dance floor.