guilt for having a wedding?

We were the opposite. We were hell bent on the courthouse and were guilt tripped into a massive wedding

Everyone has an opinion about everything that doesn't matter during the wedding planning process. I got a ton of "don't do it", "marriage is antiquated", blah, blah, blah.

Don't worry about it. As long as you are having a wedding that makes you and FH happy, treat your guests well and it's well thought out, it will be great.

I have a few members that have made these comments too. It's like one of the most important days of your life!! I realize that nobody in my family has had big weddings but I have always kinda dreamed of having a real wedding with lots of friends/family/the dress/the arch/the party.. I don't think we should feel bad for wanting to make a big deal out of our wedding day. It is a big deal!

If these people are on the guest list, you should feel free to take them off. If they aren't on the guest list, they may be pissed they aren't invited. Who cares? Enjoy your day!

Ignore them and do what you feel is best for you and FH . Celebrate your love the way you want to . No one has the right to tell you how to get married. It's a special day and should be treated as such .

Same here.

that's what my mom keeps telling me...

My dad and FH every once in a while joke that we should just go to the courthouse and take the money. No thanks, I want the wedding.

I have a family member pushing me to push the wedding up to 2018 because she doesn't want to wait 2 years but too bad, it's either have a great wedding because I saved up for it or to have a mediocre one that I didn't want just to please one person. So just do you!

We got those comments too- our response was: "thanks for the advise, but we just want to have a party"

My dad got engaged last year and plans on getting married April 2018. He has nothing planned or booked, except a vague idea of some "friendors" and they're getting married in April.

Meanwhile, I have nearly all of my vendors booked. He has tried guilting me for having so much planned and hiring professionals. After I told him I've booked my photographer and cater, he had his "caterer" friend from work (not food licensed) and his FI's photographer friend contact me to try to use them (because they're cheaper than what I was paying).

Um, no.

Tongue in cheek, yo. I also don't have that great if a relationship with my dad anymore. When he ignored my existence during our "family" vacation, I stopped talking to him for awhile. When I got my dress, I sent a picture to my brother and then out of nowhere, my dad got upset because he hadn't see the dress. *eyeroll*

Not guilty, but my FH mother and sister were making it so planning a wedding wasn't fun or we weren't even happy bout having one. (still making it difficult a little) Till my mom stepped in and stood up for me and my FH. So my FH mom is trying to be better but his sister is not even talking to us and has blocked our number.

FWs parents eloped and think weddings are silly and vapid. Her sister eloped and they freaked out. We're planning a whole shebang and a year and a half in they still are incredulous that we're wasting our time and money on a wedding. You just can't win with some people

People tell me "oh you'll regret spending the money when you look back." just ignore them everyone and their mother has an opinion that they think MUST be shared

My dad made comments like "it's a lot of money for one day" or "are you sure this is what you want to do?" in regards to wedding plans, so eventually I just stopped talking to him about it. I know he's still somewhat jaded because of the way his relationship with my mother ended and that's where most of his comments were coming from. The best thing to do is just disregard what these people are saying and stop discussing the wedding with them.

I think for me, I need to have the big display. It's a huge transition in my life and just like boyscouts cross a bridge, it ties you to the next chapter. (I can't believe I just used a boyscout reference. )

I'm not happy that so many people feel the pressure, but I'm glad I'm not alone.

@oliva, I'm the same way. I have always wanted small. As sad as it is, we got a venue instead of doing a back yard wedding 1. because people in my family see backyard weddings like a family bbq. They think they can bring 10 people. 2. having a venue lets us further impress that we can't have 300 people.

I try to avoid questions and/or answers that revel the cost the whole wedding or even a category. People's judgements seem to come out then.

I have gotten some from my FstepMIL - "You're not having a big wedding, are you?" "Don't you think you two are too old for that?" (We're both in our 40s.) "You're wearing the white dress and everything? Really?" And, about a dozen stories of people who had a big wedding, and then the groom died. No I am not exaggerating, and I wish I was kidding.

And, I was also guilted into having a big wedding (130-150ish) by my own family. Everyone in our family always has big weddings and they all go overboard for every event ever. FH and I would have preferred a beach wedding with immediate family only (which would've been what we could afford anyway), but my parents stepped in to pay for the majority of the costs, so we're doing the big thing. I'm also an only child and this is the first marriage for both of us, so I've been encouraged to have this great, happy event for my family. I am happy and excited for it now, but it's not what I would've chosen.

Everyone from strangers, to coworkers, to family were trying to discourage us from having a wedding and going to the courthouse instead. It was our decision and we don't regret it at all. I think it's easier to tell people to save the money but of the married people who discouraged us they chose to have a wedding for their marriage.

Don't feel guilty to have a nice wedding over the courthouse. My husband and I were on the verge of what to do and where to do it. The courthouse may cut costs, yet not give you the feeling of friends and family being there, Eventually, my husband said lets do the wedding and from there, I started myself to look into venues, vendors and all the shopping (mainly ebay and amazon if you want to save that much more time and dollars) for the things you need otherwise.

Getting married at the courthouse *is* a wedding, btw.

But who are these people? Are they footing the bill?

Also, when folks give unsolicited advice about a wedding, I usually respond "Great! You should totally do that!"