Guests you don't know at your wedding?!?

We kept things to close family and friends, so we knew everybody at our wedding. There was one family member that I hadn't seen since I was very young, so I don't really have a relationship with her, but my dad wanted her there, so we invited her. I wouldn't have wanted anyone there that DH or I did not know.

I would never tell my parents or his that they could not invite someone to my wedding. We are having approx 4 on my parents side and 5 on his. They are excited and want their friends to be apart of this celebration, I have no issue with it.

We asked our parents if there was anyone else they wanted us to invite. My parents suggested one couple who had been friends of our family since I was little. FILs added a Great Aunt and Uncle we hadn't thought to invite, and 3 friends of FMIL whose kids grew up with FH. Of those, my parents friends and one of his mom's friends are the only ones who RSVP'd yes.

So, a total of 3 guest we didn't have on our original list, but at least half of every couple knows either me or FH.

We showed our families the guest list to make sure we weren't forgetting anyone, but only in terms of family members. they don't "get" a certain number, and we're not inviting our parents' friends/co-workers etc. And the #1 rule of our guest list was we had to both know them. I'm not paying to feed strangers.

My parents wanted to invite a few family friends, but I know them well. FHs parents are also bringing a few family friends but he knows them.

There will only be like 5 spouses/plus ones of friends who we haven't met yet.

My parents are paying for the wedding, however it's still our wedding, and they respectfully understood that. Both FH's parents and my parents invited their life long best friends, but that's it. Even though I know these people, I didn't want them there, but it wasn't worth fighting.

We did ask both sets of parents if there was anyone that they wanted to invite that we didn't think of on our own. I think between them there were 4 people, which we were both totally ok with because 3 were extended family and one was my mom's best friend who i completely forgot about.

It's realistic if you pay for your own wedding and call the shots. Personally, I wouldn't want anyone I don't know at my wedding beyond SO's that I haven't met. It's not a random party; it's a chance to celebrate a life changing moment with the people you know and love.

Updated info: Yes, we have a venue already but no, they do not have a limit on guests. We are already looking at 120 and hoping to keep it under 100. Instead of a limit on guests, we have a minimum requirement we have to meet for food & beverage, which I assume is part of the problem with my future in-laws thought process (oh, it won't cost you any extra in food, you can just have less expensive food!) Obviously, there are other expenses than food that we will have to pay for (favors, invitations...) but nothing super expensive. The main concern is keeping the wedding intimate and not having 40+ people we have never met that we are not even related to, or not closely related to.

I didn't give our parents anyone to invite. We paid for everything. Both sets knew enough people because so much family was there.

I think it depends a lot on the family . My family is Mexican and we were planning on doing a rsvp and only those are able to come but we thought about it and said it's not gonna work so it's an open invite my dad is paying for my food so there is no way I was going to tell him he can't invite no one . FH is totally fine with it so let's see how this goes lol

I would just give them a number for budget/intimicay reasons "we decided we are only comfortable with X amount of guests so we gave my parents X, us X, and you guys X" Try to give both parents a similar amount of guests unless one of the parents is totally out of the picture.

Our venue only holds 200 and we gave each parents 80 and us 40, which in my opinion is very nice because we are paying for most of it.

We know everyone on our guest list. They are our closest friends and family. I do not want to invite people that me and FH are not close with. My parents and FILs didn't even ask about adding their own friends to the list.

None. We are paying for everything and keeping it under 40 people total which was basically that we each had 10 people to invite (with a guest). That 10 included our parents so there was no way they were getting plus more for people we don't know.

I think it is a nice gesture to let your parents and FIL to invite a few of their closest friends to celebrate. I think 2-3 couples each is sufficient (so like 6 from each side).

Fo example, my parents play cards and trivia with 4 other couples almost every week. I don't know these people very well, but I know they mean a lot to my parents, so I will be inviting them.

ETA: This is for our celebration of marriage reception/ party in the States. They are not invited to our 30 person destination wedding.

Neither of our parents are allowed to look over the guest list. We know who WE want to invite - and that includes pretty much every family member. They don't get to add whoever they want. That being said, if they were contributing money to it, things would be different - but they still do not just get to invite whoever they want. You need to limit it somehow.

Our parents allowed us to invite who we wanted even though both sides are giving some money towards the wedding. They respect the wedding is about who is closest to us, therefore, no one will be there that we do not know (with the exception of +1's).

My FFIL is a pastor of the Church that we are getting married at. My FMIL wanted to invite the entire church. We only know less than 10 people at the church. FH told his mom that he wasn't inviting the whole church because he didn't know them and that our wedding wasn't for her to get attention. Needless to say she got ill but he wasn't worried about it. I'm still waiting for her to try and do something without us knowing.

We wrote out lists of the family we were planning on inviting and then asked our families if we were missing anyone. We weren't.

I also asked them if they wanted to invite a few friends to come (no more than 3 couples). They haven't decided on that yet.

I asked my dad if there was anyone he wanted us to invite and he asked for two couples who have known me since I was a baby and who he's still friends with and his old boss and his wife. It means a LOT to me he wants those people there as I have a FW. I am more than happy to cover that cost (we're paying for it ourselves). My mom didn't have any requests as a number of friends had passed away and my FMIL isn't in the picture.