Guests who don't RSVP but show up anyway

"Turn around."

I'm kinda serious. What can they expect you to do? It's a plated dinner. You have X reserved seats. If they don't RSVP, they don't have a reserved seat.

I am having this same problem. Most of my relatives havent even rsvpd so Im counting them as if they are coming since I am having a buffet style dinner but I will be upset if people who said they were coming end up not coming.

I have no problem telling them there is a not a meal for them or a seat reserved in their name, but would the polite thing to do be to invite them to join us after dinner for drinks and dancing?

Well for me if you dont RSVP and I dont hear from when by October 1st, u won't be on the list. I don't care who u are. I turn in my place cards and final list in October. My venue told me that I have options if someone who isnt on the list shows up. She said typically it doesn't happen but if it does they have to first notify me. Then the person can either be turned away nicely at the door or they will find them a seat and I will have to pay for them that night. I don't wanna be bothered with anyone who couldn't even give me the respect to RSVP or for someone who shows up that was never invited.

The polite thing to do would perhaps be to invite them for drinks and dancing afterwards. HOwever, if your alcohol consumption is based on the final guest list count you have given your venue, would that not cause a problem or be "cheating" the venue as the extra guests would not have been included in the list?

No one came that didn't rsvp but some people said they would be there and didn't show up.

Very good point, Roe! Thank you all for weighing in.

In the cases I have seen the bride and groom didn't always know right off. The staff just took care of the extra guests and if it came out more at the end of the night you got billed. I really couldn't turn anyone away so I will be preparing for worst case scenario.

They should be able to take care of an extra guest or so. We had one of DH's cousins decide to make the drive from Albuquerque to Phoenix the day before the wedding. DH had not seen him in about 20 years, so we were not about to turn him away even though he had sent in a decline RSVP. We had a pasta bar and apps, though, not a seated dinner. But, we also had two no-shows (one was sick, one couldn't find the venue), so everything worked out.

I'd be really surprised if any more than a handful of people did that, honestly youll probably get some people who DID rsvp and end up not showing, so that will probably even it out?

We decided that if they don't RSVP and we call them and they don't give a answer either way that if they show up and we don't have space that they will told sorry but don't have room we are having a buffet but i know that if a to many extras show up that we will not have food for everyone my FH has no problem telling people that will not give a answer that they are being put down as not not coming

I'm starting to get nervous as well because my deadline is Sept. 2 (Ya, I just realized it was on Lador Day!) if I don't here anything by the end of the first week in September, and you don't respond to by call, I"m not counting. But my parents want to have an extra twenty meals just in case. I think they are nuts, but oh well they are paying for the food.

We did not have any show up that had said no. We did however have some no shows after they had said yes which pissed me off way more. Still pissed at some of them a year later.

One of my aunts RSVP'd no (ended up showing with her husband & my cousin), another aunt wasn't sure & showed up with her hubby & 2 kids (but she's my favorite aunt, so its ok), 2 of MIL's friends that we didn't hear from at all came. I was mad at first & mumbled to myself, but what can you do? We just made sure we had more than enough food & it worked out fine