Guests who do not RSVP but show up

Krista, nobody is saying that you don't need deposits to secure the date/location in advance. But usually you don't need to provide the resort with a final head-count so far in advance.

If you really DO need to have a final head-count that far in advance, you don't have to worry about people coming without rsvp-ing. If they miss the deadline and the resort fills up, they won't be able to attend.

You're stressing yourself out. I've never seen anyone here that's having a DW have this much of an issue with accommodations for their guests.

Why do they have to take the same plane to where ever the DW is?

Uhhh first of all, tone it down there lady. We're trying to help. Second, you shouldn't be doing their travel arrangements. You book the hotel, send out STD's 9 months in advance, and send out your invites 8 weeks in advance (maybe 9), and HOPE that those who do decide to show up book the hotel you're having the wedding at. This just means if they don't, you end up paying more. That's the price you pay (no pun intended) for having a DW.

It is easier to understand if you are Canadian. As Canadians have all inclusive packages you cannot change your hotel or your flight the package is the package and it cannot be changed. You cannot buy a package for Sandals and then change your hotel to Iberostar. Canadians do not pay for transportation to/from the resort, the dont pay for the hotel or or the food/drinks everything is included with the package. The package cannot be changed. As its an all inclusive hotel vs. Motel 6 guests need to stay at the resort. Perhaps I will find Canadian forums where people understand.

You understand that everyone books everything you are describing and has to do the exact same thing - hope they planned an event their guests can attend. People book a venue, put down deposits on caterer, photographer, DJ, make room blocks, etc. and then they just have to wait and hope they don't get massive declines. I don't see anything in your situation that is unique, not easily solved with STDs (this is one of the few times they are warranted), or that justifies such a bizarrely early RSVP date. People plan weddinsg with guests attending from all around the world all the time. You send the STD and then just hope they are motivated to come. You set up a website and indicate that they are better served to book a room early as things will fill up (the whole country won't so they will find a spot). I think you may have chosen a wedding that does not work particularly well for your specific guest list, especially if you feel the need to lock them down nine months in advance. I would rethink this whole plan. If you still want that DW more than naything, be prepared to chill out and deal with a lot of uncertainty about your final guest list.

We have to organize their travel this is how it works they do not organize their own travel for a charter all inclusive destination wedding when you live in Canada.

Wait. Do Canadian citizens get these special deals? Or do you mean Canadian Resorts? I am so confused...

I don't think this is a US vs Canada issue. This sounds like a travel agent/resort issue.

So your guests are paying for your wedding? Can they not decide to book outside your package flights? What if your guests decide to stay at a different hotel?

Can you tell us exact where you are getting married?

Why does everyone have to be on the same flights? Can they just book their own travel?

I have been working with a travel gent for a DW in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. He helped me arrange a block of rooms at an all inclusive resort for the guests. We put a deposit of $100 per room in the block. Any rooms that are not booked by July 1 will be released back to the resort and we will get a refund for all the deposits. After this date, guests can still book if their are rooms available or just book at another hotel and join us for the wedding events. The guests are contacting the travel agent to book their individual rooms.

They are also booking their own flights. Some are staying for 4 days and others for 5 or 6. They are all arriving and leaving when it is convenient for them.

I'm confused about why all these guests need to be on the same flights. Is it a remote location with very limited access? What if they want to arrive or leave on a different day?

It sounds like an issue of someone wanting an all-inclusive chartered wedding thus giving their guests no choice in their travel and stay instead of letting it up to them. What if they could get a deal with miles OP? No choice.

So if they can find their own flight and hotel, even if it's not the same place, they can skip all the extras and pre-planned events and attend the wedding, right? You've picked a place that's requiring too much of your guests. No one's circumstances are clear this far in advance.

You know what, now that I think about it: my cousin invited me to her wedding in Canada. She had it in a ballroom. I didn't need to do anything other than book my flight. Sounds like you got yourself involved in some ridiculous expensive wedding package.

Also, back to what I said before: change the title of your discussion to say "paging Canada DW couples." Perhaps that's your best bet.

My DW is 4/6/17, my rsvp deadline is 3/23/17. I think your deadline is too soon. Is there anyway you can do an estimate if you must have the numbers in this early?

ETA: spelling

I think we can all relate

Ummmmm. Canadian here.

I think you are out to lunch on your planning. Sorry. If you told me the dates of your wedding and I want to go I will wait till the last minute book so that your 1400/pp is only 800/pp. I don't care if you book through AC, Westjet or whoever. If the resort and/or travel company is telling you differently than you are being lied to. I think you need to really look into this. As someone who got married in Mexico, attended a DW wedding in Mexico and travels there frequently you don't have your facts straight at all.

"Most importantly we are selecting the seating arrangements and are doing all the little details such as writing John on seashells with table number."

You're right, definitely a reason to get RSVPs NINE FUCKING MONTHS IN ADVANCE.

Is it going to be Wednesday all week?

Okay, if guests are not allowed to organize their own travel, WHY would you be worried about people attending who didn't RSVP?

If the only way for them to get to your wedding is by purchasing THE PACKAGE, and the package is only available until March, anybody who waits later than that will simply be out of luck. They won't be able to attend.