Guests who do not RSVP but show up

I think your deadline is a little too far in advance. What is the actual deadline that the resort gave you?

I think the hardest thing is you asked your guest to know what they're doing 9 months in advance and that's hard for a lot people.

ETA: Spelling.

This is a problem you are creating for yourself.

It is completely absurd to ask people to RSVP in February for an event in November. Who can possibly know if they will be available that far ahead of time? You should collect final numbers no more than a couple of weeks prior to the wedding.

Unfortunately, 9 months is way too early to expect guests to reliably rsvp. Some people can't even request PTO so far in advance.

Your RSVP date should really be 2-3 weeks before the date the venue needs the final count by. All the other stuff you can budget for or do as the RSVPs roll in.

There is no way that most people can commit 9 months ahead of time to a destination wedding.

As pps have said, the majority of people cannot commit that far out. I can even time off that far in advance.

I had a DW, why would you have your RSVP that early? What's the logic? You can accomplish all the things you mentioned after a normal response time. Invitations shouldn't even be sent until the beginning of September.

Why the heck do you need RSVPs 9 months ahead of time ?

When do you need to let the resort know your final numbers? My DW is the beginning of November and the resort doesn't need our final count until Sept 1. I understand sending out the invitations early and asking for an earlier than usual RSVP, but it does seem a little early to ask for RSVPs.

I would let people RSVP until a few weeks before the deadline the resort gave you. Let people know that after this new date, you will not be able to accommodate additional guests.

This is a destination wedding. As required destination wedding have to be booked 9-12 months in advance if you live in Canada and are doing an all inclusive resort. I had to put a deposit to hold the date at the resort 17 months in advance and I had to book the notary and the photographer 12 months in advance and also pay a deposit to secure them. Otherwise I would lose the resort, the wedding date, the notary and the photographer. As it is the smallest resort it is on a first come first serve meaning the bride/groom who pays their deposit first gets first choice. If another bride wants that date they cant if its already booked and they have to change the resort or change the date. I am not waiting two months before my wedding and wing it as VISAS are required from some family members which they require 3 months in advance for wait times. As destination wedding are charters which means the flight, hotel, transportation and food/drink is included you have to RSVP. This does not mean that you pay the $1400 upfront. This means that you put a deposit of $150 which holds your seat on the plane and a room of your choice at the resort. You then have until September 1st to pay it in full. All the major airlines can only hold the package for 90 days. Currently the same week is $1800 the group wedding rate is $1400. Currently the resort is already 3/4 sold out for that week. They are holding 30 rooms for till March. Unfortunately this is how it works as per the wedding coordinator and the 10 other brides I know who all had destination weddings. We have guest from other countries, Argentina, Brazil, England, Thailand, Portugal who are not with charters and they have till mid summer. If you can contact Sunwing, Air Canada, Air Transat or Westjet and have them hold the rate for me till September and the rooms at the resort with no deposit for each guest, I would greatly appreciate it.

Yea, this still makes no sense.... Actually it makes even less sense than it did in the beginning.

None of this is making any sense to me, sorry. Maybe someone who lives in Canada, or had a DW in Canada could assist you. Try editing the title of this discussion with "Canada DW" for more responses.

Read over it again. I think STDs would suffice is allowing your family members the time to apply to visas if need be.

I'm sure there are other hotels they'd be able to stay in. Just because you have a room block somewhere doesn't mean they HAVE to stay in that hotel.

If you dont believe me then you call a travel agent today and tell them you want to book a 5 star all inclusive resort for 60 guests coming from 8 countries for a wedding in 6 weeks and let me know how it works out. 35 must be on the same plane. 8 are on connecting planes which they all must be on the same final charter plane. 6 require urgent VISAS and you need a legal wedding so if they can fast track the paperwork that would be great. Good luck and let me know how you make out getting 60 people at the same resort and same plane with 6 weeks notice in busy season.

If you needed a headcount 9 to 12 months for this location, you probably should have picked another location....

But why are you booking their rooms and travel? Shouldn't that be on the guest?

PP aren't arguing with you about that, you should have the preliminary numbers to the resort now. What the pp, and myself, are confused about is why you need to get RSVPs nine months in advance?

ETA: I second LB's question, why are you arranging their travel? Your guests are adults. They can book flights and get visas themselves.

In that case, you need to call and explain your circumstances to the people who don't RSVP on time. That is actually the standard advice I would give to anyone, but I think you need to stress the circumstances that you have and be clear that if they do not RSVP, they cannot change their minds. I doubt anyone is just going to show up on your wedding day. DWs cost a lot of time, effort, and money on the part of your guests, and it's highly unlikely someone is going to spend thousands of dollars to see your wedding and not let you know they're coming.