Guests backing out

I've had one guest back out and one bridesman who might have to back out because one of his family members died. I've also had FH's grandpa's caregiver get added to this list after she unexpectedly got back from vacation early, one of FH's uncles RSVP yes at the last second (there's some drama with him that I don't care to get into), and this morning - 5 days out - one of FH's friends texted asking if he could bring a date. So we're probably going to be over after all is said and done.

I don't know why everybody's ganging up on Denise. Everybody here says that a bridesmaid's only job is to show up in the dress. They failed to get the dress, so she's inviting them to attend as guests. I think everybody's hung up on "I had to let them go" and not reading the rest.

We had about 10 people not show up. Only half left us know. What can you do, ya know?.. Just go with tthe flow!

Natalie, I was thinking the same thing. I've seen multiple posts about just asking them to attend as guests if they can no longer participate as a bridesmaid. She did the right thing

I'm wondering why Denise highjacked this post when that's not what op asked...

@Natalie, you are right--all they have to do is show up in the dress. According to Denise, the wedding is still a month away. Therefore, they did not fail to show up in the dress. If they came on the wedding day without the dress, then it would potentially be appropriate to ask them to just be guests.

@OP My final numbers were due this passed Friday. After I turn them in, the next day my mother informs me that my two nephews (late teens/early twenties) said they now aren't coming to the wedding. Sucks but really what can you do, at least I'll have some cushion if people who RSVPd no decide to turn up.

@Denise, I wouldn't want to come to your wedding either after you kicked me out.

Natalie, nobody's ganging up on Denise. Speaking of the fired BMs, she wrote, "They waited to the very last min the dress or color is no longer available", and she followed that with, "I didn't require anything specific that's the whole point they could have picked a $40 dress and gold shoes and that would have been fine if that's what they wanted as long as it was in the color range." So which is it? They couldn't get the specific dress, and the color is no longer available, or has every dress, in every store, in every shade of her "color range" been destroyed? It's one or the other, not both. I could have pulled off the non-specific, $40 dress in her color range next weekend (in plenty of time for your mid-April wedding). Her BMs still had time to do exactly what we always say -- show up in the dress.

I'm wondering if these delinquent BMs donated any of their time and money on a wedding shower or a bachelorette party in Denise's honor. I'm wondering if they were invited, with boxes of dollar store merchandise and glitter, to be BMs. I'm wondering how much time they spent involved in meetings or get-togethers that were based on her wedding.

You can't kick someone out of your wedding. That's terrible. If they don't have their dresses etc. Let it be.

Personally id rather they not come and tell then extra people show up without notice

Eek... have you submitted your final numbers yet?

OP- I'm not quite there yet but I can imagine that there will be people who say they will show up down to the day before and not show and vis versa. Nothing you can do to control it. Just go with the flow and enjoy your day no matter if there's 20 people or 200 I'm sure it will be great!

@Denise - I wouldn't show up at all if I was kicked out either.

In regards to the Denise bridesmaid thing. I feel as though she was more rude then she was letting on since now neither of these ex bridesmaids are now even coming to the wedding. They still had a month. I would have talked to them about what I could do to help them get their dress in enough time. Because if it really was "any 40 dollar dress in the color range" they had plenty of time. I think you fired them.

And @OP I hope no guests that rsvp yes will back out. I know life happens. But at 100 per plate I hope that doesn't happen too much! Lol

Yes it can i had 10 ppl who RSVP back out.. But had bout that many uninvited guest just come. But overall We plan for 120 guest and had 80 that show up. But it was ok i was buffet style

On our original wedding we only had about 50 out of 100 show. Hoping for at least a 75% show up rate for our 10yr renewal.....

With every decline (we've only had one so far) I get a little relief. I love all the people I invited but if I don't have to spend my entire budget it is fine by me.

I agree Denise. They were not considerate. Things happen but a whole year to get things together and they still don't have it. I would have done the same. If they were having a hard time they should have told you. Not wait for you to say something to them. This is your wedding. At the end of the day you can do what you want. Dont let anyone tell ypu otherwise. No one on here is helping you pay for a single thing.

Becky, your wedding is on a Tuesday - could that be the reason? Is your wedding local, or a DW?

@gymrat it is local. I knew people wouldn't be able to attend because it's a Tuesday so I made sure to tell everyone before hand. I totally understand why these guest can't come, I'm just glad I haven't turned in numbers yet.

Less meals to pay for. Bridesmaids were just being snarky.