Guest who replies super late and invites her own plus one - what to do!

Tell her you are sorry but you already gave your final numbers to the venue and that is why you asked her to reply months ago. If she pushes and you want to let her slide you should tell her that you simply don't have room for anyone to bring a date. FH was invited to a wedding a while back who didn't know me and he asked and they said they didn't have room for him ro bring a date (we weren't engaged) so he went without me and we were not in the least offended. She is being the rude one by telling you a couple weeks til the wedding that she is bringing a date and not even asking first...

It hard to say but just tell her either

A) She can come but cannot bring a date. You simply don't have room and didn't give her the invitation to bring a guest.

B) That she cannot come because she did not RSVP by the deadline. The venue wanted final numbers by X date and since it is past that, you are unable to change things.

Jessica nailed it. It is too late to change the count.

I'm going to be the odd man out and say that if she is traveling from another country, you should let it slide. I'm sure the caterer can squeeze in one more place setting.

I agree with SunshineJenn

Explain the situation. It will be awkward, and it may even be ugly. But let her know that your final head count was weeks ago, and there is no wiggle room for more people.

Your head count was due a while ago & you gave it in. Your RSVP date was 2 months ago and she waited till now. Tell her the truth plainly, unfortunately she is too late in responding. If you really really want her there then talk to your caterer/venue and squeeze them both in. If she is traveling a long way and won't really know other people, it's polite to let her bring someone.

If your wedding wasn't destination wedding, I'd agree with just saying you can't fit them and you already turned in your RSVP. But since yours is in another country-- it's like vacation trip for people and if it's another country-- I'd want to travel with someone. I think you should let the plus one. But if you really don't want her there-- then telling her no plus one will do the trick.

My FH was invited to a wedding out of state that I was not invited to (we had been dating for two years at the time). I went with him BUT I stayed at the hotel and went shopping/sightseeing on my own while he was at the wedding. It was no big deal at all. Are you sure that is not what your friend implied?

Stick to your guns, if you allow her to bring an uninvited plus one, how many people will be upset that they didnt get to do it.

Stick to your guns, if you allow her to bring an uninvited plus one, how many people will be upset that they didnt get to do it.

Has she already booked her flights and made accommodations? If so, you may want to let it slide. As far as the plus one, if she hasn't made travel arrangements for the plus, you should explain to her that you gave in your final numbers and you can squeeze her in, but not a plus one.

On the other side of this, if she hasn't already made travel arrangements for herself and/or her plus one, and you want to put your foot down and stand your ground, then do like Jessica says.

Good luck. Please keep us posted

I'm experiencing the same situation, and in agreement with SunshineJenn.

We're also having a destination wedding this coming Saturday and have a guest who replied late, just booked last week, is still uncertain of his arrival day, and bringing an undecided plus one to a very small and intimate wedding of 26 people including the wedding party.

It is a little rude of him, but we're just not able to say no to someone who is willing to fork out the time and expense to travel a thousand miles for our wedding.

I also give guests the benefit of the doubt in that they probably aren't quite as up to date on wedding etiquette as us brides that have been perusing through this stuff for over a year.

I agree with Erin. People are spending a lot of money to travel to your destination wedding,

the least you could have done was give everyone a plus one. It sucks to travel alone. I would let this go, especially if she's already booked flights.

Also, I don't see the reason for requiring RSVPs

SO early. If the venue needed numbers 1 month out, then your RSVPs should have been due 5 or 6 weeks out, not 2.5 months. You only need a couple of weeks to track down non-responders.

I agree that she should be allowed to bring date. No one should be expected to travel to a foreign country alone. That's inconsiderate. It is just as inconsiderate that she RSVPED so late. Your RSVP date was crazy early so she may have assumed you didn't really need the numbers that early. If she already booked her flights i'd squeeze them in. If she hasn't booked stuff tell her not to because you had to have the final numbers in a month ago. Your venue will be able to work it out these things happen all the time.

I'm of the opinion that not replying to RSVP's is very rude with no consideration for the bride and groom. Places charge alot per head for weddings and some can only fit so many people when you invite someone else along and you wait so long to RSVP it puts a strain on the bride and groom that is not needed. destionation wedding or not if +1's were not able to fin into the budget then guest should understand. I think you should tell her that you do not have the room for a +1 and If she already booked her flight she can come but let her know that the venue already required a head a month ago.

Tell her you already gave your final number to the venue and will therefore not be able to accommodate her.

If someone was willing to buy two plane tickets to attend my wedding, I'd be honored (even if it was past the rsvp date). I'd even let her bring a guest because it is no fun to travel alone. I tend to be a softy though, so that's just the way I would handle it.

Thanks all for your perspective. We were able to include her in the end. Despite some people's opinions, I'm still really glad I had the rsvp date 2.5 months out. I knew that no matter what date was put, guests would reply late and I didn't want to be stressing at the 1 month mark. Also with a destination wedding, you really have NO idea what your response rate is going to be and it's hard to plan a wedding/budget when you've got no idea how many people will come. I also sent save-the-dates 9 months prior so there was lots of time for guests to decide.

I wouldn't personally make it a big deal but that's just me. We have had people go both ways (say they were coming and now can't and vice versa and it's days from the wedding). I have decided I will not worry about it and I will enjoy my day if they come or don't. And if people are brought I don't know well, I hope they enjoy themselves too who knows maybe I will make another friend.