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Just Said Yes July 2014

Guest who replies super late and invites her own plus one - what to do!

tehteh, on June 17, 2014 at 2:06 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 26

This is a challenging etiquette situation. I'm having a destination wedding because my fiance and I are from different countries. I sent out invites asking guests to rsvp within 2.5 months of wedding date. (We had to provide final numbers 1 month out). I'm now 2 weeks from my wedding date and I just...

This is a challenging etiquette situation.

I'm having a destination wedding because my fiance and I are from different countries. I sent out invites asking guests to rsvp within 2.5 months of wedding date. (We had to provide final numbers 1 month out). I'm now 2 weeks from my wedding date and I just got a facebook message from an old friend in my home country saying that she will be coming with her 'plus one'.

I never invited plus ones - she is single anyway (only had her name on envelope.) Our wedding is small - 50 people - so I didn't want any randoms. Several other guests are young and single anyway. Even though I've barely had any contact with her over the last few years, I sent her a message a couple months back just to check and she was non-committal saying that she was 'looking at flights'.

What do I do? I find this so rude.

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26 Comments

  • MrsDean
    Master April 2015
    MrsDean ·
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    If she's not important enough to you to spend the extra money to accommodate her, tell her your final numbers are in. 2 months may be early to RSVP, but those were the rules. She broke them. You are not obligated to accommodate her, particularly with a plus one.

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  • LiveLaughLove
    Devoted August 2014
    LiveLaughLove ·
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    I can see both sides of this. I think she should have had a plus one for having to travel by herself to another country, but on the other hand, she should have RSVP'ed by the deadline. I'm glad you were able to squeeze her in in the end though!

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  • windinyourhair
    Super May 2014
    windinyourhair ·
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    If they already made their travel accommodations I would let it slide, given that it is an international destination wedding. it may not be ideal, but it happens.

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  • DFG2014
    Super November 2014
    DFG2014 ·
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    That is really rude!

    However, I would never ask someone to travel for a destination wedding alone...

    But I would tell her you are sorry but the deadline to RSVP has passed and your final numbers have been turned in and you won't be able to accommodate her.

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  • KayWell
    Super July 2014
    KayWell ·
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    I know its mean, but i would make her sweat, then fit her in. I would give The whole spiel about not knowing if it is possible to for her in, because The deadline passed. Tell her youll beg The vendors. Then Wait a day or two and squeeze her in. Made your point And still have your friend there!

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  • Mrs.Matthews
    Master January 2015
    Mrs.Matthews ·
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    Im having a DW and I am allowing everyone to bring dates. We are having a family wedding about 50 people but I am not going to make people travel the country alone

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