Soon2BSmith
Expert October 2020

Guest wearing special colors

Soon2BSmith, on August 5, 2018 at 7:12 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 42
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My mom wants to direct the guest to wear a certain color ( I can’t remember what color it was). She wants my aunts to all wear a different color from that. She also wants my FH family to wear a certain color. I’m not oppose to this. Has anyone ever done this? How did it pan out? Is this dividing the families more?

42 Comments

  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
    • Flag

    Is your mom going to pay for all the clothes people would need to buy if they don't have the appropriate color? I wouldn't do it. I can't imagine telling my family and friends they need to wear a certain identifying color. That seems really juvenile.

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  • F
    Super August 2018
    FutureMrsO ·
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    I feel like that would probably divide the families more in terms of appearance. But also just practically, then everyone who doesn’t have an outfit in their assigned color would have to purchase something in that color which may be a deterrent for some.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    It is considered NOT polite to suggest specifics of clothing worn by guests, like color. Only formality of dress takes it's cue from bridal party or family. Please do not do this.
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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    Agreed with the above. That and think about how many colors of blue, red, green there are and how you aren’t going to get it and it will just look messy. Let people wear what they want!
    • Reply
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    Hey thanks so much for your help, but I actually find it rude that you called my mother juvenile.
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    I agree with the dividing the families. I would feel better if it was just one set color. But I would also say if asking for a color is a deterrent for people to not come, then do I really want them there??? They’re are sharing in my joy and love, I’m spending thousands to be a good host, and if asking for a color is TOO much, then I aren’t the family I thought they were.
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    Thanks Judith for your input. Unfortunately, being polite isn’t one of my agendas. But I do understand that traditional it may be frowned upon.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag
    This is a strange request and it is generally perceived as rude to request the guests wear a certain color or outfit. There are logistical problems with this as well. What happens if a guest doesn't have that color in their wardrobe or doesn't even like that color? Your guests are not props for the wedding and should wear what they want.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    Wouldnt definitely advise against this. Guests spend enought o go to weddings, they shoukdnt hqve to buy a new outfit. If i went to a wedding and they said i had to wear red id have to buy a new outfit. As a pp said it will make the families look more divided
    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
    • Flag

    This happened to me years ago as a guest. My mom and I were invited to a wedding, we could only wear black and white. We had to go buy a new outfit. I was pregnant, the last thing I wanted to do was go shopping to find a specific color to attend a wedding. It was rude and annoying. When we got to the wedding, people were in various other colors, and complained at the audacity of the bride to dictate what they wore...


    I’m not going to go buy a completely new outfit to attend a wedding, on top of paying to travel to attend. Though if you don’t care about being polite, as stated in above comment then I don’t know.. you asked if anyone did this, people said no because it’s considered rude, and impolite. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    If you're not concerned about being polite, then you can do whatever you want. However, you may find that your guests either skip the wedding, or bear a grudge for years to come. Why would you not want to be polite to the people you are inviting, who are presumably your nearest and dearest?

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  • Mrs.Married
    Devoted September 2017
    Mrs.Married ·
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    Being polite isn’t one of your agendas? Then what is? Why is it that people take the “it’s my day, I’ll do what I want” so literally that they think they can throw politeness and etiquette out the window? No. This is a rude request, and you should not do it. If you do, expect people to not follow the “rules,” or at the very least, take the cost of their new outfit out of your wedding gift. I would.

    On on a side note, when you come to a forum to ask advice, you shouldn’t get upset when people tell you what you don’t want to hear. Maybe if a lot of people are telling you the same thing, you should consider that they could be right. And in case no one outright said it, you SHOULD be polite at your own wedding. And just in general.
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    It’s not my concern because if they are TRULY my nearest and dearest, why would they be so upset to wear a special color? I’m spending THOUSANDS of dollars to feed, entertain, and share in my day, and they have an audacity to be upset with a color they were asked to wear? REALLY! Are they truly my nearest and dearest if wearing a color bothers them so much?
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    Did you read the question that I asked?!!!! I asked WHO DID IT not WHO DIDN’T DO IT!
    It would be polite for people to read as well. So take your own advice and be polite in general.
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  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
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    I’m spending thousands as well, doesn’t mean I should dictate how my guests dress. Most of us are spending thousands...we’re not dictating or even thinking we have the right to do so, simply because we’re the bride.


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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    You asked how it panned out. Shannan has experience with it. She said, "When we got to the wedding, people were in various other colors, and complained at the audacity of the bride to dictate what they wore..." I would say you have an answer to your question.

    • Reply
  • Marissa
    Expert August 2019
    Marissa ·
    • Flag
    If someone made me wear a specific color for their wedding, they better be paying for my outfit or I’m not going. I also don’t like how I look in certain colors so I may be uncomfortable in a color that was picked for me to wear. It’s much more simple to let people wear what they want. No arguments that way.
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  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
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    I answered your question from a guest’s perspective. It just wasn’t what you wanted to hear...


    You’ve violated multiple CGs by insulting us, calling us nasty and telling us to not comment. None of us have been rude, or nasty. We’ve been honest and said guests will find this rude.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
    • Flag
    Wow no need to be so annoyed.

    I personally don’t know anyone who did this so I can’t say if it planned out, but to me a wedding is bringing families together, so asking them to wear different colors is doing the exact opposite.

    if you do attempt this, please don’t be hurt or frustrated or annoyed if it doesn’t work out the way you want it to.
    • Reply
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    Now, this I totally Agree with!! Absolutely, if it’s such a big issue why come! Good point!
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