Guest list problems!!! Who would you cut??

I would cut the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 18th cousins that you aren't close to. I would also cut the randoms that Mom & MIL are inviting... if you're paying that's not their place. And they (and their BFF's sister who they're inviting) will get over it.

Oh, & of course start the almighty B List

I know how you feel! My family is HUGE! My family, alone, is 74 people. Yikes. Invite grandparents and aunts and uncles. Then cousins. If you have to cut family, start with great aunts and uncles (your grandparents' sibling) and then cousins of your parents.

This is what we did: We made 'our' guest list. (Family, His friends & My friends.) We then sat down with his parents and then my parents and had them make a list of guests that they wanted to invite. We made sure that our families understood that we didn't want people to come to our wedding whom we were not close with. After making that clear - we looked at the list that they made and crossed off anyone that we hadn't seen in x amount of years, haven't talked to in x amount of years or didn't recognize. That helped us cut back a LOT.

Then with our friends: we did the same thing. If we didn't talk to them via phone or text in less then 6 months they were put on the "B LIST" (B list = when A list RSVPS come back with regrets)

Thank you guys for the tips! Ill start making a "B list" and go from there. Ill prob cut only my family. Only 20 of them are his family the rest is all mine! Wouldnt be too nice to cut his first lol!!

And thats smart cutting people you havnt talked to or could recognize! Thats half of the people my mom added!

I am not inviting most of my MOMS family...1. i cant stand a several of them, which makes me job easy...lol, however my cousins i love, and i cant have them. SO i am sending them all an email and telling them that due to our small venue and limisted seats we wont be able to invite the cousins. And that I love them! Done, no cousins. im not inviting ANYONE on his side cept his immediate family....even out of them, only his parents will come... so that makes my list easier, lol.... also tell the MOMs to butt out, unless they are paying of course, however, its STILL YOUR wedding.

Talk to me about guest list cutting..My family is HUGE!!! Mom has 12 siblings all of them have children and some of them have grandchildren also. My Dad is the same but with 9 siblings. I have 80 people in my guestlist, I just invited the closest ones people who I see periodically, I made it an adults only wedding, and our close friends, no colleagues! It helped us a lot

If I were you, I would talk to my mother and FMIL and tell them you just don't have room on the guest list for them to invite people without asking you first...unless they want to pay for the extra guests. (Or, are they paying already?)

Another little thing to add ~

I have a very small family (no uncles, no cousins. it's literally my parents me, my 2 siblings 2 sets of granparents and one aunt) My FH's family however - is huge. His dad is the oldest of 9. He's got hundreds of cousins and they all get married very young (typically 18) and have tons of kids. They're all located out of state. Since we cannot afford to invite them all we decided to have a big bbq-reception just for them sometime after the actual wedding date up their way. This way they still all feel included and we would go to them rather then having them all traveling down our way. (easier for us so we don't have to worry about finding a very inexpensive hotel that would be able to accomidate all of them)

If you have a really big family and they're from all over this could possibly be another good option as well so you're not excluding people. The party with all family would be more of a new nuptial celebration.

Anessa E. Common rule of thumb on deciding who is to come and who is not to come...and I feel your pain, as we are having a similar situation...You typically invite people that you have seen or had contact with more than 2 times throughout the year. I have family that I haven't seen in probably 2-3 years...so I had to cut them. It's super hard to cut family and friends...trust me, I know...and I have a HUGE family. What I'm doing, and thank goodness I have the best MOH and mom for this...we're adding the women from the family and the female friends of mine onto the bridal shower guest list that are not invited to the wedding...it will be a pretty big bridal shower, but it means a lot that I'm able to still invite them to share in the festivities...and these women are very understanding and happy that I am still wanting to share something from the wedding with them. I hope that helps

J&R S-- Cant pay for extra guests I so would if I could, THe Max amount allowed is 100 for the outside and 75 for the inside! Small venue!

Im thinking I am going to just cut the people I have not seen in the longest! And cut maybe a couple of his family friends that well he didnt even want to invite in the first place...that was his moms doing!

I think that's the best way to cut the list

I think you have two options...

1. Only invite certain "categories" of people... say immediate family, cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents - no extended family

*My parents apparently didn't invite cousins because they had to cut their guest list.

2. You said you originally had a list of 85. (You're including yourselves in that, right?) anyway, take the remaining 15... split it in 2 and tell your parents you wish you could invite more people, but you can't because the venue you fell for won't allow it. Then give them both 7 spots to invite people and you and your FH can put on 1 more person if you want yourselves. (Can't give one set of parents 7 guests and the other 8!)

Good luck! The guest list was the hardest part for us. (So at least you know it can only go uphill from here!)

We have the same exact problem, our original guest list was approx 250 people. the venue we fell in love with only holds 80 people not including us. My fiancee is the nice one in the relationship and wants everyone he knows there but I told him we were not inviting anyone we haven't talked to in a year or more (including distant cousins), if we don't know their last name/spouses name/children's name, our parents are not helping so they can only invite one guest each. Our wedding is also on a thursday. it is very hard to cut people but sometimes it has to be done.

I would skip the STDs, that's what I did when my FMIL handed me a list 20 mikes long. So far out of 100 invitations sent, 10 have declined. Also start a B list.

What Tiffany L. said is so true! Once you send someone a STD your kinda stuck inviting them, I wish we had not sent them!

I still have not sent mine. Thats why I am tryin to really get a set list before I send them out!

I have 161 people on our list- and we only have a few friends invited- all the rest are family- 2nd, 3rd, 15th, and 32nd cousins- all included... booooo I need to have at least 125 people, but not 160!!!! My FH is spanish and according to his mom and sister we have to invite EVERYONE or someone will get upset. TBH- i really dont care if their sister's uncles cousins, 2nd wife twice removed hates me.... I'm not paying for you if I don't know you!!!!! (within reason of course!) I have been around this family for 2 years, that's enough christmas's and birthdays and weddings and all that to have met everyone important. Same goes for my family. He has been around for 2 years- if you haven't taken the time to get to at least meet him I don't need to pay $75 for you to eat. :-)