Guest Count/confirmation

We had an RSVP deadline date on our RSVPs. This deadline was about a week before we had to give a final headcount to our venue. After the deadline passed, we called the guests who still had not responded (maybe like 10 people or so), and they gave us their responses. I think calling instead of texting/emailing is better in this instance since people are more likely to give you a response right then and there versus people feeling like it's easier to get back to you later in written forms of communication.

After our deadline I definitely followed up with people who have not yet given me a definitive answer and then I got to a point where some people still didn’t answer even after a hard deadline and I just counted that as no

We are providing multiple options for replying: call/text/reply card/rsvpify.com attached to our website. There should always be a week of cushion past the reply deadline to get in touch with guests to find out.


However I would never immediately mark someone as a no if they were late, without checking in with them to confirm. But be nice about it. That's being a good host. In the current political environment the post office is in dire straits so things are not getting delivered where they need to be and it is not fair to punish guests for something beyond their control.

View Quoted Comment My guests have been good with responding back to me... I just don’t feel confident in their response so I’m like uummmm do I just say no.. we just don’t want to overpay..

View Quoted Comment Exactly...No response, no plate...

View Quoted Comment Yea I don’t plan on mailing any RSVP’s due to how the post office is right now. I’ve been reaching out to my guest by message. My only concern is the ones that are saying “yes, I’ll be there” but don’t.

View Quoted Comment There's no way to prevent from happening. You count them as a yes and talk to your caterer about what to do with leftovers.

View Quoted Comment Understood. It’s just extra money we could’ve said.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, you can't predict who may RSVP and not show up. It's just a cost you may have to eat since counting them as a no despite them RSVPing yes and then not having a plate/seat for them if/when they attend will be far worse, in my opinion. We only had 1 couple not show up, but my wedding was pre-COVID. The couple told us ahead of time. They were flying from a different state and their flight got canceled last minute and they couldn't get a new one that would get them there in time.

View Quoted Comment Only if our venues allowed that. Cant pack any leftovers

View Quoted Comment True... I guess a yes will be a yes

After our deadline for out big wedding (3/27/21) I will follow up with people who haven't responded and let them know if I don't get an answer then they will no longer be invited. Sorry not sorry, we're spending a bunch of money on food/drinks lol

If you are asking for a Yes this far in advance (assuming your date is March 2021), then yes, I think you run a higher risk of people changing their minds or plans, especially with COVID. I don't expect anyone to give me a firm commitment until 4-6 weeks before our wedding date. And even then, like others have said, there are always no-shows that you just can't predict.

View Quoted Comment And that’s my issue. I don't want ppl telling me yea I’m coming and they don’t. That’s money wasted when they could’ve just told us no they not coming.

View Quoted Comment Oh no there will be another count later and closer to the date we need a final count. So that’s not the only time I will confirm with the guests.

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There's no way around that though especially with COVID. Someone could easily say yes and then not feel comfortable, get sick, etc. Literally anything could happen lol. I would mark the Yes as Yes and the No's as No. You could try confirming them again right before the final headcount is due but even then people could change their minds

View Quoted Comment There will be another count “the final count” and I guess we just go with that...

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Are you already tracking RSVP's?

I haven't sent the invites yet but we do have a strategy. No kids allowed. We already know some guest will be declining because of it. I have one aunt who for my sister's wedding had an RSVP for 3v and she crossed it out and put 5! I'm already anticipating her doing the same. I plan on calling her to let her know her invitation is for 3 only. The dinners are paid by us and we already paid for their. She can decline if she wants to at that point. I'm not budging for anyone.

View Quoted Comment I’ve only reached out to everyone once to confirm their attendance. I plan on doing another one after the New Year.