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Savvy March 2012

Groom's family won't RSVP for wedding!!!

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Adrianne, on February 23, 2012 at 12:43 AM

We live in Los Angeles, along with most of our family and friends. We're getting married in Las Vegas next month. We sent out formal save the date cards and invitations about a month ago, requesting responses to be given by this Saturday. Most of my family and friends have responded already. I have sent out two reminder e-mails to those yet to reply and have spoken to a few family members (his side) and I've been told, flat out, "ha ha ha..we DON'T RSVP..that's just not something we do." This isn't a backyard BBQ...this is a wedding! A wedding being held out of state. What do I do? We have vendors to report a guestlist to. I'm taking it personally, thinking that it's total stubborness and disrespect. I have even said in my reminders that they caneither call, text, or e-mail me...I don't want to be a B!tc@, but i don't think those that do not respond should be able to attend. Thought??????

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28 Comments

Super June 2012
Jesi · on February 23, 2012 at 4:04 PM
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I'm kinda vindictive. I'd probably let them know that if they don't RSVP there won't be a seat or food for them. Maybe that makes me a bad person...whatever.
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Savvy March 2012
Adrianne · on February 23, 2012 at 4:06 PM
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Lol cute. But our ceremony is small, facility can only seat 50. There isn't much room for error. Thanks ladies, glad I'm not the only one dealing with this. Good luck to you all!!!
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Master April 2012
krisalicious · on February 23, 2012 at 4:08 PM
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@Adrianne, I think #5 is the most important step for all of us.

@Tamara, there's nothing to suck up yet. These guests haven't even missed the RSVP deadline. You can't go around harassing people before they've missed the deadline. That's ridiculous. If she wanted them to respond a week ago, the deadline should have been a week ago.

After the deadline passes, harass away, but she's already followed up twice. One more follow up call from her FH will suffice to explain if they don't RSVP, they can't come. If he wants to use Nikki's wording and that helps his family understand, great. But there's no need to badger anyone for a response. Them not answering is a response. No need to create a flutter of drama with family members she will deal with for the rest of her life.

If they don't respond, I like Jennifer's idea of sending the note. That closes the loop.
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Master October 2011
Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") · on February 23, 2012 at 4:38 PM
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I agree with Kris S. I wouldn't have asked before the deadline. I would wait a few days until after the deadline and have your FH call guests.
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VIP April 2012
Crisanda · on February 23, 2012 at 4:40 PM
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Kris needs to talk to my mom, who harrasses me every day to call or email people. We mailed the invites on 2/6 and the deadline isn't until 4/13. She's driving me crazy!
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Master April 2012
That one chick who's married to that one dude · on February 23, 2012 at 4:56 PM
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Unless they have something against you marrying him, I wouldn't get mad at them and kindly let them know you need to know so they will be able to have a seat reserved in their honor. If they still don't, then you and your FH can decide if you want to save a seat anyway or not. Personally, I would not.

I had a similar issue (before I had to postpone the wedding) where majority of my dad's side of the family wouldn't RSVP. They PURPOSELY didn't respond and come to find out they didn't do it because they HATED my FH because he's not like them and they weren't going to come (they did this with my bridal shower as well). So now I am redoing my invites and not sending them at all to them to avoid the hassle.
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Dedicated September 2012
Tamara · on February 23, 2012 at 5:41 PM
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Oh well kris, you have your opinion and I have mines. I'm not telling her to badger anyone. Personally, I'd like to............Nope, I probably shouldn't say, so tootles kris!
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Master April 2012
krisalicious · on February 23, 2012 at 6:20 PM
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::headdesk::

@Crisandra, send your mama my way and I will gladly tell her to chillax. Our weddings are over two months away, WTH? We haven't even finalized our menu yet. If I tried to give my caterer a headcount right now he would chuckle and pat me on the head and tell me to come back in 7 weeks.
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