Groom's family won't RSVP for wedding!!!

We all have to deal with people not using their RSVP's and the answer is to call them and get verbal confirmation. Don't use this as an opportunity to "teach them a lesson", which is what it sounds like you want to do. Granted, they're acting like rude idiots but you'll be dealing with these people the REST OF YOUR LIFE. This is just one day. An important one, sure. But still...just one.

What the...........? Is it only HIS family that is not responding? How rude and disrespectful! I'm failing to see the humor there. I'm sorry you are going through that. RSVPs suck. The whole process stinks.

My deadline came and went and we only had about 1/2 respond. I solicited the help of my MOH/sister and she contacted the stragglers directly and was able to wrap it up quickly. Do you have someone in the bridal party that could take on that task for you? It made it less awkward for me, not having to put them on the spot, and she was able to get it done quickly so we could give the final count to our vendors as well.

I know people typically wait until the last minute to respond but I've not heard of people being so blunt about NOT RSVPing. I would almost want to revoke the invitation myself!

Good luck - hope it all works out.

I agree with Sharron. Dont use you're wedding to teach them an etiquette lesson. You even said yourself that you'd accept confirmation by phone. EVEN IF YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO, I would just suck it up and call them and get their confirmation like that. They are being completely inconsiderate but I'd suck it up just so you get you're accurate count..IMO

I wouldn't call them myself. That is just tacky IMHO, especially since they already laughed and told you that they don't RSVP. Maybe their stance would be different if they were hearing from a third party. Have someone else do it if at all possible. Heck, since it is his family, even FH would be better than you begging and pleading and groveling for their answer.

Thanks ladies..that's the thing though, I've emailed them twice, he's sent text message reminders, I've spoken to a few family members (got that VERY rude remark). In my emails, I even said they don't need to send in the card, just let me know via text, call, e-mail...

We are keeping the wedding party very simple. Our 7 year old son will be the Best Man and our 11 year old daughter will be my Maid of Honor; my older brother is walking me down the isle.

Yes it's in Vegas, but it's not a cheesy dive scene (not that I'm against that...just not what we are going for).

We have a set limit to guests for the ceremony and need to make sure we include enough food/beverages (but not TOO much) for the cocktail reception...well you all know...there's a lot of planning and budgeting involved.

We are only a month away from our wedding and still need to finalize the menu :/

How much time after the requested response date should I wait to give a final head count to our vendors?

Exactly Lisa!! This might be catty (but come on, we all have family members that we have to tolerate) but quite frankly, I could care less if some of his side (married in relatives) don't come...they were invited out of politics....

And I'm not going to plead and beg for people to come to our wedding.

This wasn't a last-minute deal..ample time has been given for them to respond.

Sorry if I'm coming off rude, but it hurts that they are taking this so lightly..

So....looking at your comments it seems you're looking for validation and not advice. In that case...best of luck.

No, I'm asking how much longer after the requested response date should I wait to hear back from those that have been invited.

In that case, the deadline. Perhaps a few days extra just in case.

Alrighty, sounds like a plan. I'll wait til the deadline and ask a good friend to contact those that haven't responded.

Hope it goes smoothly.

Thanks for all the feedback.

I just have to say, the dry-humor-sarcasm side of me would love to respond with "ha. ha. ha. I don't save seats for people who don't RSVP. It's just not something I do." Maybe they'll think it's rude. Maybe it will actually be their language (some families just have these different codexes, ya know?) Best of luck!

LMAO Nikki!!! Love it.. but..as someone said earlier...I gotta deal with these people for the rest of my life.

Thanks for the laugh

There is no reason to take this so personally. I'm sure this is not a plot to disrespect you. They haven't even missed the deadline yet! Your reminder emails were overkill. Take a deep breath.

Here's what you need to do:

1. Find out from your vendors when your headcount is actually due.

2. The week before that, you and FH respectively call any stragglers on your side of the list. Politely explain you need to know right away whether or not they're coming, and if they don't answer, you'll put them down as a "no" and you'll miss them.

3. If your FIL's won't respond to your FH, DO NOT have a random third party call them. That would be very weird. Tell him to ask his mom or someone else in his family to get the scoop.

4. Submit your "yes" RSVP's on the due date to your vendors. Any question marks are a "no" and it's their fault if they're upset about it.

5. Relax and enjoy your wedding.

Kris..I think your most important step is #5.

Thanks for all the advice.

Oh Adrianne, I totally love Nikki's response. You have a lot of people on here telling you to suck it up. Personally, I wouldn't. I would kindly respond in this manner, "I'd love to see you there, but would hate to see you with an empty plate. So kindly RSVP, of course unless you plan to eat the sandwiches you bring yourself outside." The peeps on here are totally killing me with the "kill them with kindness" remarks.

Im a little testy, mainly I'd go with Kris but Tamara seems like something I would probably also do

I'm just going to be honest here, I would call each one of them and say that you need to know if they are coming to the wedding. If they are on the phone and say "we don't RSVP" then reply "I don't reserve food or seats for people who don't RSVP" If you are leaving a message and they don't call you back, I would simply send them a note saying that you are sorry to hear that they won't be able to make the wedding.

My FH's family hasn't RSVP'd either, and they all say they honestly didn't know they had to (for example, his mom was shocked like you KNOW I will be there!). So, FH just picked up the phone with each one and asked them to mail them back.

I would do what Nikki said, but that's just me! In this case, have FH deal with them via phone. He should let them know that if they don't rsvp they'll be no seats for them at the wedding. So sorry you are going through this. People really are rude and silly.

This is actually a problem that I am having...so I just decided to add them into the final head count since I have 84 people confirmed and I will leave padding to make it a round 100. Anyone who comes after that will have sit on someones lap...