Groom doesnt want to do the 1st Dance:(

We didn't do a first dance because it wasn't important to either of us.

If it is important to you, you need to have a talk about it. Even if he doesn't enjoy being the center of attention, he really should be willing to do it for you.

Yea better said then done i tried compromising than he decided to just bail out i been stressed since yesterday it means alot to me

Tell him it's not "putting him on the spot" if you are planning to do it and he knows when it's going to happen and how. Putting him on the spot would be to just say, "this is our first dance" and him not know a thing about it. I would sit down and let him know this is important to you and he needs to compromise a little bit. We're doing the first dance but not mother/son because FH's mother died & his grandmother has a bad knee. We are doing father/daughter & grandfather/grand-daughter though.

Dance classes? That could make him feel better.

Awww i agree with Mrs S. Try dance classes and make him feel more comfy with the entire dance

Can you do it while people are finishing dinner? DS and I did that (well mainly I decided to get that done since I felt like our dinner took longer to serve than it needed to..) but that way people won't be so much crowding around you two at that point and gives you your own special moment..my friend did that at her wedding also.

Mine was not thrilled either. We have the DJ inviting people to join us almost immediately so that everyone is not staring at us

Yes that when we intend to do it @ ab z i went to my uncle's wedding and they did it then it flowed so well kudos!!!

Ladies the man knows how to dance thats not the problem he just doesnt want everyone looking at him i guess its rather disappointing

I'm going to be upset if he gets up to do the cupid shuffle but couldnt do our first dance

:-s

@maria i might use that tactic

I am so sorry to hear that you are stressed Shari S. I am not sure what I am going to do about my first dance either. Both FH and I want to do it, but we are both really nervous about it. I definitely thing that I am going to copy-cat the idea of having the DJ invite everyone to join in with us so that we don't feel so on the spot!

My FH went around telling everyone I didn't want a dance when we first got engaged. I was surprised because we had never talked about it, and I definitely wanted to have my first dance and the father-daughter dance.

I wasn't even aware that he had done this until I was talking with my FMIL and she looked at me while I was explaining that I didn't really want to go to a restaurant for my reception unless there was room for the dance floor. She looked at me and said "What do you care about that, you don't even want a dance."

I was kind of mean at the time (my FMIL and I don't see eye to eye on very much) and told her that she should ask me what I want before she opens her mouth and tells me what I want or don't want.

My FIL and FH still go back to not wanting a dance frequently, but I keep telling them we will. My FH has picked out his mother-son dance song now and is becoming active in choosing our first dance song

Possible solution for you.

As a DJ and a dude, I can tell you guys often don't like to participate in activities for one reason - they think that they are going to look stupid. Not much you can do to change his thinking process, BUT you can make a compromise.

I've have DJ'd lots of weddings where they did a shortened first dance. Just because the song is 4 min long, doesn't mean your dance has to be. The DJ can fade the song out after a minute and a half.

-OR-

Give him control. I had one groom make the decision (while dancing) how long it would last. They started the first dance, and I watched him closely to give me a signal that he was done and I would fade out the music. So now he was in control and could end it as soon as he became uncomfortable. That groom ended up dancing to the whole song.

You make him feel like he is empowered and you might be surprised what you get back.

We are getting remarried ans we didn't have a first dance because he doesn't like to dance. He did agree to do a first dance with me this time.

Good luck!

I always have couples go into the first dance right after the introductions. this might be a nice lead into the dance since you will already be in the spot light you can get it out the way early, also have the dj invite couples and bridal party to join you. so sorry that this is stressing you, I pray that he will be up for it on your wedding day

He's being more cooperative we are going to do a short dance to anita baker woop woop and i'm going to try and come up with something with the ladies

He's being more cooperative we are going to do a short dance to anita baker woop woop and i'm going to try and come up with something with the ladies

Oh man. I totally feel you. My FH doesnt wamt to dance AT ALL. And neither does my dad. Its a lottle crushing but what can I do? I can't force it on them. Not only that, we dont have those sentimental songs that remind us of each other anyway which makes it a little easier to accept there wont be father/daughter or husband/wife dance. It may be one of those things where you either have to let it go or make them do it. Either way someone wont be happy.