Good friend’s dw is way expensive: didn’t know until Rsvp!

It's not unusual that all inclusive tropical wedding venues charge guests to enter the resort if they are not staying there. Sometimes it's still cheaper to stay elsewhere and pay the fee for the day of the wedding.

I would just decide between the two of you if you really want to go to this wedding. If you don't, contact the couple asap and tell them you are now unable to make it. If you do want to go, check into alternate accommodations.

We had this issue with a friend who got married in Mexico. We RSVPed then a large amount of media on resorts poisoning guests with cheap alcohol and then extorting their guests. That was enough to make us call the bride and tell her we didn't feel safe going on top of it being expensive. If you do decide to go, do not book through the agency (ask if they have a room block code and book elsewhere if you find it cheaper). Also, you and your husband can apply for Bank of American travel cards and each card will give you $250 travel credit (hotels, flights, car rental, etc) if you spend $1000 in three months. You both get your own card, there is $500 off your trip right there.

If you opt out, just be honest, you thought you go make it work which is why you RSVPed yes, but after crunching the numbers you just can't. Most people will understand. I am having a DW and right off the bat, I have said to people if it is a financial burden in any way please do not feel like you need to come. With that, people have been open and honest which I appreciate more than going into debt over "making it work."

As someone that has Dysautonomia, I have had to decline invitations to various things due to my heat intolerance. We can’t go to the beach or pool at all during summer.

FMIL wants us to go to Mexico with her, but it’s not going to happen. We can’t take a tropical honeymoon, it sucks but it is what it is.

I’d contact your friends, and explain you wish you could attend, but can’t. If you’re close friends, they’ll understand. Ultimately you need to do what’s best and safe for FH. Traveling with it is difficult, and draining. Spending so much to attend a DW that could potentially cause my health to flare, FH would honestly say no. To him, my health and safety is priority over attending a friend’s wedding.

This is a good group to see if anyone has traveled there or has any travel tips.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/Dysautonomia/

I would try researching the resort myself to see if I could get a better price by booking directly or through other travel sites to see if there was a way to make it affordable. If it's still not affordable then don't feel bad about declining if you need to.

H and I have destination wedding exhaustion. If we had attended all the destination weddings we've been invited to in the last 2 years, we would have spent over $20,000. Nope. We don't want to spend our money that way and we don't want to go back to Mexico or places in the Caribbean that we've been to before. We automatically decline invitations to destination weddings. A big part of me can't wait for the trend to be over.

Ouch. I'm glad my friends and family aren't like this! Our wedding is in Vegas and we have 35 people who love us enough to come party with us.

I would contact the bride, and ask if there is anyway you can stay somewhere else and not pay the $95 fee. I agree, it's a little crazy to expect people to 100% stay in their chosen hotel no matter what. We gave our guests 3 options.

Tell your friend that circumstances have changed and it doesn't look possible for you unless there's some sort of alternative. It sucks but you should be honest, IMO.